Careful what you wish for...

I said in my last blog I needed new direction...well, I certainly have it!

Thursday afternoon, I lost my job!

I am still not sure if I quit or was fired. It doesn't make a difference as churches are exempt from paying unemployment anyway and that's not the point either. But I was told if I didn't like the way something was (me, being treated like crap) then I could get my purse and walk out so that is what I did.

I've never been one to hold my tongue much and I have definitely held it at this place a lot longer than anywhere else. I'm not going into a lot of detail right now because it will just make me look angry and spiteful when it's really the other way around.  But I did reach my limit and so I am no longer a preschool teacher (not at that place anyway).

I've had a few days to try and process it and honestly, I have a lot of different emotions running through me. Probably the ultimate is shock. And anger. It's hard to believe there are people out there that will push you to you're breaking point but sometimes, there are and sometimes you wind up working for them. Shock also that I actually left. But I KNOW with my emotional state being what it has been for the past two weeks, that was the wisest thing I could've done.

I'm also scared. Scared about how I'm going to pay my bills mostly. Scared about possibly returning to a field I haven't worked in in over a decade.

I am extremely disappointed that I wont be seeing my sweet babies everyday. Yes, they can be a handful but I truly do love each and every one of them. I carry them with me. I get attached. I get close to their families. It's hard.

But I'm also excited. So I'm trying to be postive and think of it as the opportunity it is. An opportunity to better my financial situation, improve my social circle (professionally) and learn something new.

I'm encouraged by the outpouring of love and support from so many people including some I didn't expect. But I'm always thankful for my "inner circle". My rocks--you know who you are! As tempted as I am sometimes to throw in the towel, you never let me and for that, I am truly grateful.

So, we'll see what happens! It's always an interesting ride with me, isn't it?