Song of Songs 1:2
In 1967, the Beatles released a recording called, "All You Need Is Love," a song initially performed on the world's first global television link. The Beatles manager, Brian Epstein, said of the song, "The nice thing about it is that it cannot be misinterpreted. It is a clear message saying that love is everything."
A lot in the world has changed since 1967, but one thing hasn't changed: our culture is still sending out the message that love--particularly romantic love--is all you need. Movies, radio, and magazines tell us that if we can just find our soul mate, all our problems will disappear. While love is from God, there are limitations to earthly love, regardless of how wonderful another person may be. Therefore, adjusting our unrealistic expectations about love can be one of the best things we can do. When we realize only God can love us completely, it makes all the difference between being joyful or miserable in our relationships.
But the fruit of the Spirits is...peace. Galatians 5:22
In his book Counterfeit Gods, Timothy Keller writes, "Putting the weight of all your deepest hopes and longings on the person you are marrying, you are going to crush him or her with your expectations...No person, not even the best one, can give your soul all it needs." Keller also writes, "We maintain the fantasy that if we find our one true soul mate, everything wrong with us will be healed. But when our expectations and hopes reach that magnitude, as Becker says, 'the object of love is God.' No lover, no human being is qualified for that role. No one can live up to that. The inevitable result is bitter disillusionment."
If disillusionment becomes a part of our stories, bitterness of heart may not be far behind. We may give up on love as our expectations betray us. We will close our hearts off to others because we believe love always disappoints. To be free from unrealistic expectations about love, we must continually pres into God for our needs, reject the lies of our culture, practice gentle grace in our relationships, remember we are not perfect, and keep our eyes firmly fixed on Christ. We must also remember God created us for relationships; we were not created to worship relationships.
You shall have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3
This really spoke to me because I had recently been dating someone that I really liked and cared for. But we just weren't meeting each other's expectations. I didn't feel like I was being unrealistic--I wasn't asking for a ring, to cohabitate or anything like that. Things just didn't seem to be progressing the way I thought they should be and I won't go into anymore detail than that.
I won't say that I was angry about our decision to part ways. But I was disappointed, frustrated, irritated and maybe a little hurt. I had not opened myself up to dating anyone at all in over three years and just when I thought I found someone that was worthy of my time, it didn't work out the way I wanted to. And again, I don't really know what I wanted. I just knew what I didn't want.
But yesterday during my quiet time I felt God impressing on me to let go of my negative feelings about it. "He's not a bad person. He's just not what I have for you at this time. You have to love people how they are and allow them to progress according to MY plan for them just as you need to progress according to my plan for YOU. After all, my dear, you are not perfect either."
Well, okay, then, Father! lol I hear Ya!
It certainly wasn't helping my spirits to keep holding him responsible in my heart for my disappointment. That was on me. What I needed to do was to refocus and recenter my life on Christ and live according to His calling on me. I need to keep my heart so hidden in Him that any potential mate must seek Him first in order to find it (paraphrased quote from Maya Angelou).
And this devotional just reinforced what the Holy Spirit was telling me--isn't it great how God works?
One of my favorite television shows is about relationships and I recall an episode where the main character's romantic relationship wasn't progressing like she wanted either. She knew she couldn't change the other person but she still wanted things to change "just a little bit". That's not unrealistic. After all, relationship are about compromises. But the other person must be willing to do so because of their love for you and that's not something you can demand so you shouldn't expect it either. It is something that can only be freely given and then appreciated afterwards
So let us not focus too much on our physical, earthly relationships and instead focus on the only relationship that truly counts!
Have a blessed day!
No comments:
Post a Comment