So I'm sitting here on a Friday afternoon blogging when I should be doing so many other things. Working on my Capstone Project and writing a paper for another class for one. Job hunting for another. Exercising, cleaning, crafting...any number of things.
But my soul is practically screaming at me, "Write! You need to resume writing." So I guess I have things I need to get out. Speak and release.
It's been seven months since I lost my job and my unemployment has just run out. I estimated it to last until June but apparently I was way off in that estimate. I'm also out of financial aid and tax refund. To say that I am worried and scared is an understatement. I haven't been wasteful. Though there are probably some things I could've done without. Again, I was expecting a few more weeks of benefits, at least. I also haven't been sitting on my ass. I have applied for more than a few hundred positions. I've been on several interviews. For whatever reason, I'm not getting hired. I don't know if it is because I'm close to getting my MBA and they think I won't stay there long before I'm onto something bigger and better which is not necessarily the case or what the reason is. The interviews always go very well, seemingly. But here I am, still unemployed.
I am trying to trust God but I have bills to pay. I have had friends offer to help but they can't pay my bills nor do I expect them to. I honestly do not know what will happen. I would hate to give up the home I've had for 5 years and have finally just gotten it situated the way I like it. I would hate to lose my car. But I keep reminding myself that no matter what happens, God is still God and He is still in control. And I know He has a plan and a purpose for me. That is all I can do right now, is claim that promise.
I also ended a relationship and a friendship recently. The relationship actually ended the day before Valentine's Day. We were attempting to remain friends but sadly that did not work out. He was talking to me hatefully on social media but texting me privately even thought he had been told numerous times I would not be his dirty little secret. Finally, I could no longer allow his public disrespect of me to continue so I stopped answering. I knew I would not get an apology. What I got was anger in the form of being ignored and deleted. That's fine, too. I know my value and I will not settle for less. I can't respect anyone that treats others that way, let alone ME.
I did have a "date" with someone else and thought it went well. But I guess he did not feel the same. Oh well. I wish him the best anyway. Good guy.
I think all that tells me that God wants me to concentrate on other things (like school and job) instead of romantic relationships and I can live with that.
I'm counting down on the last six weeks of school. I feel overwhelmed with this Capstone Project. I'm attempting to do a business plan for a unique fitness center and I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew! I know I will get it done. I just hold myself to such high standards when it comes to grad school. I have not received a grade of less than a B the entire time!
The kids are doing well and for that I am grateful. I just need God to show up and show out for my job situation and I will be content. I'm trying to be content anyway.
Blessings!
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