I ended my fast yesterday--three days early! God is not only on time but sometimes He's early! I got the answers I needed and so fasting without purpose is just starving!
It was a truly awesome experience and I am so proud of myself for being able to stick with it. I passed up Dunkin Donuts, Dairy Queen and countless other things because I was so desperate to hear from God and to grow closer to Him. I so enjoy those intimate times of really "getting after it" in private prayer and the sweet times of corporate prayer and worship with my church family.
With some of the things I was seeking answers to, I felt God's answer early on. Other things took a little longer and mostly I wanted to be sure it was from Him and not my own ideas. But over and over I got the same confirmation.
I know I'm probably not doing the experience justice in my feeble attempts to describe it to you, my faithful readers. It's just not something that I can explain adequately. You just have to step out on faith and experience it for yourself. But I do want to caution you, just because you don't get the answers you want does not mean God isn't listening. So don't get frustrated and give up. Be patient and trust Him. Some of my answers weren't exactly what I expected to hear but I know that His ways are so much better than mine!
Yesterday also marked the end of a promise I made to myself six months ago to quit drinking like I had been and to not date for six months. I have reached a point now where I have no desire to do either really. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with consuming alcohol in moderation. I see it as a personal conviction issue really. It's just not something God spends a whole lot of time thinking about. As my Pastor says, God thinks about YOU! And if He can get you, He'll talk to you about everything else. Anything that stands in the way of your relationship with Him or hurts your witness to others, is wrong. But that can be a LOT of things not just alcohol. But as for me, I just don't need it or even want it anymore.
As for dating, I honestly don't have the time! Between church activities, working full-time, the kids and school, I don't have the energy to give to another person and I refuse to casually date. In fact, that was one of the things I asked God about during my fast and He repeatedly showed me that He is a God of restoration. I still deeply love my ex-husband, despite the tumultuous past three years. Restoration may not mean reconciliation for us. But until God completely shuts that door, I will wait on Him. And if it is not to be, I trust God to bring about the right, godly man in due time. I'm in no hurry. I'm content to serve the Lord as a single woman.
Content. Being satisfied with what one has and not wanting anything else. I guess by that definition, I am more than just content. I am truly happy. I am in love with my life--every minute of it.
I am excited about serving as co-leader for a LIFE group and helping out with DivorceCare--two ministries I wholeheartedly believe in. I am excited in serving in other ways also--prison ministry, events, and outreach.
I am excited for my children and the things that are coming up in their lives--clogging competition, spring musical, dance team tryouts, dance recitals, proms, graduations, starting college, finishing college, getting new cars, etc. I am so very proud of all three of them not just for their accomplishments but for the individuals that they are and are becoming.
I am excited about my second semester of Grad school and that I'm doing so much better than I ever expected that I could.
I am excited about the job God has lined up for me in the future. I don't know what or where it is yet but I know I will be mentoring people and helping them become the best they can be.
I am excited about writing a book (actually three books) and I know that when I am done, God will have investors and publishers lined up to make the dream come true. But I'm not even concerned with making any money from them. I am truly writing them to help others.
I am excited about spending time with friends and family--the Steven Curtis Chapman concert, the MercyMe/Jamie Grace concert, the Kari Jobe concert, movies, trips to see friends in other states, vacations with family, clogging competition trips and mission trips.
I am excited about the healing in my knees that I've been promised! I'm looking forward to working with my doctor and chiropractor as well as new diet and exercise routines for optimum health.
I am excited about the healing my parents are going to get and their return to prosperity!
I am excited about everything God is going to do, not just in my life but in the lives of my family, friends, church family and everyone that we are able to touch.
I am excited about all of these good things and more. I know that life will not always be perfect. But I know the One who is and more than that, He knows me and He cares about what I care about! And He cares about you, too! Be blessed!
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