A new perspective...

Yes, I know it's only been two days since my last blog post but as always, I'm always learning new things. Particularly now that I'm off facebook and fill my time with reading more worthy things than drama! Yep! Six days and counting!

I just finished Chapter 3 of the book I'm currently reading, The Cause Within You by Matthew Barnett who runs the L.A. Dream Center. I had the privelege of hearing him preach a few months ago, bought his book and yes, I'm just now getting around to starting it. But as always, God's timing is perfect as I've been praying and seeking His wisdom about a plan for my life, particularly in the area of ministry and missions.

A little background on the book and it's author...Barnett moved with his father to L.A. when he was 20 to help a historic church on the decline and found a new congregation among the poor and powerless people living on the streets of Los Angeles.  The Dream Center has been such a success that for their anniversary, Barnett decided to spend a night living on the streets with the people he felt called to love and serve. That night fired a new passion for his calling.

"As we pursue the cause that God has placed within us, we unknowingly reshape that dream to satisy our personal comfort level. The more time and energy we devote to the cause within us, the more likely we are to lose touch with the heartbeat of the original cause, redefining it according to our current desires, circumstances, needs, plans, and goals."

Oh most definitely! So many times I want to help people but then I struggle with stepping outside my comfort zone, as most people do. Why should we get our hands dirty when we can just write a check or do a fundraiser in our own comfortable neighborhood and give the money to the other people who have some kind of holier-than-thou desire to be among the hurting?

Now, of course, we can't all "go" everywhere. For example, for a long time, I had a heart for orphans and I still do. But we're not all called to adopt. Sometimes we are simply supposed to pray for and help others fulfill THEIR calling. So how do you know? Well, besides the obvious answer which is to pray and continually seek His will, I don't know. That's why I'm reading this book. Because like I said in previous post, I have no idea what my calling is anymore. I have things I'm passionate about. But just because we are passionate about something, doesn't mean we are called to it.

That said, I did identify with this chapter in my attitude toward the homeless. Anyone who has ever lived in or near a large, metropolitan area (and maybe even if you haven't) has most likely been approached by someone asking for help, usually in the form of money.

SO MANY of my peers have the attitude, "they need to get a job", "there are missions and legitimate places they can go for help, they just want money for drugs or booze", "if I help them they have no motivation to help themselves" and my personal favorite "they are there because of the choices they made."

My view has always been different, especially in the last few years when there came a time that I was close to being homeless myself, and that is--it isn't my place to determine whether the person's request is legitimate or not. That's God's job. God placed that person in my path for a reason and it's my job to help if I'm able (I don't always carry cash) but at the very least to respond kindly and encouragingly so as not to strip that person with what little dignity they have left. Because no matter what, whether they need food, are seeking a fix, or are there because of their own foolishness (and let's face it, who among us hasn't made foolish choices?) I totally agree with Matthew Barnett:

"Every human being has the right to basic dignity, but the disdain heaped on [people on the street] by people whom [they] are simply seeking help or understanding, chip away at it. It [is] hard enough to muster the courage to approach total strangers and throw oneself on their mercy."

I've never had to live on the streets. But I have had to ask for help and have been forced to accept help. Believe me, after a while, you question your self-worth and reason for living. There is no lower feeling. THINK before you do that to someone. I'm not saying hand over your wallet and car keys. I'm just saying, be nice! It's not hard.

So maybe that doesn't fall under "new" perspective. But it's definitely refreshing!

I guess what might fall under a new perspective would be my relationship with the Auburn fan! Two weeks ago, I'd decided his issues were too great to take on for someone who wasn't exactly sure how he felt about me. But I texted him Friday, just to let him know that I was no longer on facebook--I didnt want him to think I'd blocked him like SOME people do!--and to find out how the job search was going. We chatted for a minute and then he cut the conversation short saying he had to go cut grass. :( I was disappointed and thought well, that's that. Move on. You're the one that decided to cut him loose, stop being a baby.  And even though I know rejection (in this case, him not expressing any real feelings, well not since the picture incident anyway) is God's way of saying "wrong direction" and usually isn't a big issue for me, it still hurt a little.

But surprise! The very next afternoon, HE texted me! We wound up spending the rest of the weekend together, having a great time as usual. I don't want to drop the L word too soon but I care about him a great deal. If nothing else, I do want to be a great friend and show him that his life is valuable. Right now, he's a little down about a lot of things. So my "new perspective" here is to just roll with it. Pray hard for the Lord to protect my heart, to take it slow and accept it for what it is, allowing God to make it what it will be.

I'm reminded of  Psalms 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart"

I know that He will either change circumstances to match my heart or change my heart to match circumstances, as long as I keep my focus on Him, it's all good!

Many blessings!