Moving on...

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are nothing compared to what lies within us." ~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

To say that we are all moving on with our lives is an understatement. Sometimes it feels like everything is at a standstill...can't do this until I get moved, can't get moved until this happens, can't make this happen until that happens...etc etc etc!

But in the grand scheme of things, I know it's moving faster that most people would like and faster than it actually does for most people. That's okay with me. It really is.

Jeff met with and hired a lawyer today. I was shocked that he took care of it so fast--I'd asked him about it last week and he just couldn't seem to make himself think about it. Maybe he's realizing that this is really it this time. Of course, I'm kinda perterbed that I didn't get invited to the meeting! The lawyer is going to represent both of us since we have agreed on everything and the divorce is uncontested. Believe me, I will read everything carefully before I sign! Maybe he did it to get a rise or reaction out of me...as if to make me think about it one more time. I think about it constantly but I never change my mind.

Yes, I am sad that I just couldn't make myself feel what I dont feel. If I let myself go there, I do feel like a failure. If I were a stronger person...if I weren't so self-centered..etc etc etc again!

It hurts to know that I caused someone else hurt and it hurts to watch my kids trying to grasp what's happening.

But at the same time....

I am SO EXCITED!!! I know it isn't gonna be easy--not any part of it. But the possibilities and things I have to look forward to are overwhelmingly positive. And I will share more about that very soon!

Be blessed!