Jeff and I have been going to counseling, reading the bible and praying together every morning. We joined a bible study group and have been getting along well. Then I had to have knee surgery and I am not recovering as quickly as the doctor promised. Oh I'm right on target according to the physical therapist but I was misled about the seriousness of the surgery. I haven't driven a car or done much of anything in over a week and it's driving me nuts.
So I've been sitting around here doing nothing but thinking about things. Things I shouldn't be thinking about. Like Chris.
Although he refuses to answer any messages from me, he did try to initiate conversation via Christy's fb page. I wasn't allowed to respond. I'm trying really hard to I sspect my husband but I can't deny I still have feelings for him. Especially when I sit around and think about it!
I go back and forth...regretting that I was stupid enough to let things go that far and then dreaming about how I wish I was back in that moment...or how I wish I could have another one. Or how things might be different if we'd only connected in high school! and then I hate myself for wishing my life were different because I have just wished away my kids and everything about my life that's been good.
Damn, Satan is so crafty!
I know I have to battle this, I just dont know how. Except pray. Pray pray pray!
So that is what I will do!
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