Goodbye Grayson Valley!

I officially moved into my new place on Sunday! It was an ordeal! It was raining, I never got the confirmation email to tell me where to find the key for the Uhaul so were 30 minutes late getting the truck, two of my heavy lifters had to cancel last minute but my two sisters filled in but then everyone was late. We  only had the truck rented from 10-2 so we had to bust it to get everything done. And then my guy and I had to go back the next day and pick up more things in the pickup. But it's done.  I couldn't have done it without my family, my best friends and my guy! Especially my guy!!! I'm moved in and now to get everything organized and decorated--the fun part! 😀

Last night after work, I went to clean the townhouse. My sweet neighbor came over and was very sad. I'm trying to reassure her I didn't go far and that we would still be friends. But I know it's not the same as popping in and out. And that does make me sad.

As I was cleaning I also thought about how this was the FIRST place that was ever MINE--no parents, no husband and no roommates! Just me and my kiddos. Sometimes all three, sometimes just the girls and sometimes just one of the girls. I made it my own home and renovated and decorated it how I wanted. It has hosted some great parties, crazy friends and even crazier dates! It has seen happy times and sad times, cancer, knock-down dragouts and arrests! LOL. But it was always mine. And even though many didn't think of it as being located in the best part of town, I only had one incident there and that had nothing to do with location. It was quieter than I expected and I enjoyed being close to restaurants, shopping (even though shopping is not really my thing--I know, I'm not a normal woman!) and the interstate.

I'm a little sad to say goodbye but happy to be moving on to bigger and better things!  Goodbye Grayson Valley and 5551 St. James Street! You've been great!

More photos of the new place

My guy (I'll talk about him later 😉) and I moved several more items into my storage shed this past weekend.  My landlords were there working on the house and I signed the lease and got the keys! I'm SO excited! I've needed this change for a long time. It's not the change or move I expected to be making but God knows best and I trust Him.

Even better, my landlords have gone above and beyond what I expected to make the place nice for me. He's put in a new dishwasher, pressured washed the driveway and sidewalk, replaced the back steps, redid the flooring in the kitchen and bathroom, replaced the bathtub and walls around it, and put in a new refrigerator.  He also cleaned the carpet. It already looked like a cute little, well-kept place. Now it almost looks like a new home.

Three more days and I move in!

Foyer

Bathroom

 

This was an office. I am planning to use it for my craft room.

 

This is going to be Kayti's room.

 

Kayti's kick-ass, Carrie Bradshaw-style closet! I would take it but my bedroom furniture won't fit in that room. Sometimes you have to make choices. I need a bigger bed more than I need a bigger closet. 😕

Hallway

 

My bedroom

My closet. Even though it's not as good as the other one, it's still better than the one I have right now.

I did not get pictures of the living room, kitchen or laundry room as work was still being done in those rooms.  Can't wait to get everything situated and decorated. Backyard shenanigans will soon be taking place!

A few little updates...

Nothing much going on. Trying to kick ass at work but finding myself challenged more and more. But that's okay as long as it doesn't get TOO stressful. I still like what I do and the people I work with. And if for whatever reason it doesn't work out, I now have THIS to fall back on:

Yes, it's finally official! I have earned an MBA (Master's of Business Administration). Not to toot my own horn but this is a BIG deal. It's not a 4 year degree (I got that one in 1997 from Birmingham-Southern, which is a big deal by itself). This is GRADUATE school. It usually takes about 3 years to complete for a student enrolled full-time. I was only enrolled part-time but I still would have finished in 3 had it not been for cancer. But I finished and that's what counts. I also did not make anything below a B the entire time!

A lot of people, including some family, think I am crazy to put so much effort into education. I guess they don't see the value in it. But I do. I had some amazing experiences while enrolled at BSC and even though I never stepped foot on campus at UNA (all online), I still met some interesting people and learned a lot. In fact, I probably developed more as a business student and person through the online experience because it forced me to manage my own tasks and deadlines. I had to put forth the effort not just for individual assignments but for team assignments, too. It taught me to delegate and to rely on someone else's expertise instead of needing to do it all on my own which is key to success in the business world. But it's something I always had a difficult time with. I feel like if something is my responsibility I need to do it myself to make sure it gets done "right". But I learned that "my way" isn't always the only "right way". Oh I'm still very structured and detailed about a lot of things but it has gotten easier for me to let go of some things.

So even though it took time out of my life that I could have been...I don't know....partying, eating and getting fatter, constantly bragging about my high school days, or otherwise wasting time, I will say it was all worth it. Yes, that was a stab at someone, not that they will necessarily see it. I don't care. When someone makes a remark to you trying to belittle your education, "I would think that with ALL YOUR DEGREES..."  Well, buddy, I DO know what I'm talking about. So suck it.

Moving on...

I mentioned a few posts ago that I am moving at the end of this month. I was allowed to go ahead and take some stuff to put in storage at the new place and I took a little walk around the property and took some pictures:

 The back of the house is on the left and the front is on the right. Nothing fancy, just a cute, simple, cozy little home. It's been remodeled and decorated nicely and the best part about it is NO STAIRS! With my knee issues, that's a HUGE advantage.

But the best part about it is that it sits on three wooded acres with no close neighbors and it's VERY private! I am considering getting a hot tub for the back! There will definitely be some bonfire parties and I'm looking forward to cutting some trails through the woods. I'm NOT looking forward to cutting the grass and have been advised to get a goat! No, thanks! I will either deal with cutting the yard or hire it out. I haven't decided yet.

 Some views....#countrylife

 Yes, that's a chicken coop! The previous residents had chickens and no, I'm not planning on it. Birds scare me in the first place. But I really wouldn't have time to take care of them. And I'm not so hard up I can't afford eggs at the grocery store! I have friends that raise chickens as a hobby and I think that's great--everyone should do something that makes them happy. But I'll stick with just a dog for now. If the property wasn't wooded, I might consider a horse. But I digress.

I never thought I would move further out. This city girl expected to be finding a loft downtown. But I'm excited about this move. It's not too far from the interstate or other civilization so I think I'll be fine. Change is often scary but sometimes, if you're brave enough, it can be exciting and positive!

One minor miracle

Since surgery to remove my tumor June 18, 2015 (I'll never forget that day), I have been unable to hear in my left ear.

Originally I was told it was nerve endings struggling to find each other again and eventually it would work itself out. It didn't.

I went on and completed 33 rounds of radiation to my head and neck and that, my friends, was pure HELL. But I finished it and since all my scans have come back clean.

Yet, I have still been unable to hear for two years. Of course, I addressed the issues with all of my doctors who all had various bits of advice. Most agreed that it was probably ear wax and that I needed to use peroxide or debrox and the wax would eventually work itself out. I kept telling them if it was ear wax, that stuff has been cooked into my head and it's not going anywhere. Of course they laughed.

Once a few months ago, while at church, my ear popped. Suddenly I could hear EVERYTHING so loudly! But it didn't stay that way. That's when I knew there had to be something obstructing my hearing and that it wasn't actually nerve damage after all.

At my last scan, I finally got my oncologist to refer me to an ENT. Turns out, he is in the same office with the otolaryngologist that performed my originally surgery.

They didn't want to see me until I had an MRI and a hearing test first, which I thought was stupid since I pretty much knew what the problem was. But I went along with it. The hearing test revealed that I did have some hearing loss (duh).

Finally, I got to see the doctor and guess what he discovered--hardened, impacted, COOKED ear wax that was stuck up against my eardrum preventing me from hearing!

I know I had to have rolled my eyes at him--that's what I'd been telling everyone THE ENTIRE TIME!!! It may be "just ear wax" but it's been radiated and it will not come out.

I don't know why doctors don't believe what their patients are telling them. I kept getting told "that doesn't happen". Well, guess what? It DOES happen!

Fortunately, I did not have to have actual surgery. He was able to get in there with some tools and cut it out. That hurt!!! But once he was done--I cannot tell you what it felt like!

I can hear everything now! And everything seems so loud! I know I will get used to it and I am grateful. I have a whole new respect for the hearing impaired.

It amazes me how God uses things in my life that I go through to teach me so much! Two years of struggling with various cancer-related issues have taught me so much. But the most important thing it has taught me was that I am so much stronger than I ever thought I was. People and things keep trying to break me but they can't. I am fearfully and wonderfully made in my strong spirit and resilience. I always bounce. I am blessed and good things are always coming to me!

Praying good things are coming to you also!

New Year's Resolutions

Most everybody makes them. Hardly no one keeps them.

I did a little research and found that the top five resolutions are usually:

1. Lose weight
2. Exercise
3. Stop smoking
4. Stop drinking
5. Get a new job

Well, I lost a significant amount of weight this past year and I could stand to lose more but losing weight and exercising for me is not about itself or the way I look. It's about being healthy and putting my body in the best possible condition to fight off any future diseases because I am in NO HURRY to go through more cancer treatment or anything else.

I don't smoke and I don't drink to excess on a regular basis. I do overdo it sometimes but not all the time. It's not a big enough problem to be a "resolution".

And I already love my job!

I can always set a goal to move closer to the Lord but that should be everyone's goal all the time. As long as we are still on this earth, we have room to get closer to Him.

But I love the idea of picking an area of one's life to make significant improvements. I love New Year's. It's like the girl in the movie Forest Gump said, "Don't you just love New Year's? Everybody gets another chance."

That's exactly right. A clean slate. A "do-over" to make things right that you screwed up on in the previous year (or years).

In the past few weeks, I've greatly reduced my time on social media and spent time in the Word partly because I greatly needed some clarity on certain areas of my life and also because we are about to go into the 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting and I wanted to sort of "ready myself" for the experience. I love that time. Sometimes it can get a little boring. But that's when I know my spirit really needs the "quiet".

Two things that the Lord brought to the forefront of my mind that I need to improve on (and that will greatly help my anxiety) is

1. overthinking things
2. allowing myself to be led by my emotions

Now I know not everyone overthinks things like I do. It's become a habit from years of having to be so organized and in charge because of having too many things to juggle. I feel like I have to have things figured out before they even start, mostly because I don't want to waste any unnecessary time.  To prove a point, a few months ago, I got VERY comfortable in a situation and allowed myself to stop overthinking because I felt so secure and then the rug was unexpectedly pulled out from underneath me.  

I think I have set up this coping mechanism in my head as a way to protect myself from emotional (and other) disasters like that.

But I know it's not healthy. None of us can know or adequately protect ourselves from all things related to the future. And worrying about the things we can't control or what someone else might do or think is a waste of the present. I have to learn to just take things as they come.

I think everyone has a tendency to let their emotions lead them. In fact, I KNOW we all do because we act and fail to act on the way we "feel". That's why people have affairs--they are no longer "in love" with their significant other. Murders and other crimes are often committed of a anger or jealousy because we let our hearts overrule our brains. 

We know in our heads what is right--most of us have been taught it. But we still tend to "go with our gut" or "follow our hearts".

The Bible specifically addresses this in several places but two verses that come immediatley to mind are:

Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.

 ~~Proverbs 4:23 NIV

The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick. Who can understand it?

 ~~Jeremiah 17:9 ESV

This tells us NOT to follow our hearts but to guard them. I need to start thinking of my heart like a little child and let my brain be the parent that knows what's best even if it may not be enjoyable. 

I have definitely been led by my emotions a lot in my past. I fell in love too easily--many times. I let anger and frustration dictate my actions even though I knew they were wrong. Sometimes we all feel out of control. People push our buttons and then are surprised when we come unglued. It's understandable. But we all have to learn to take control of our emotions and not let them control situations, especially if we know we're going to pay a very high price for doing so--and we almost always do.

I'll definitely be working on these things this year.

Blessings