30 Days of Thankful--Days 16-22

I am woefully behind so let me get started....

On Sunday, I was thankful for the unexpected blessing of a good person and new friend. I LOVE serving on the Events Team at my church, Church of the Highlands. I love hosting because I get to see everyone and hopefully put a smile on some faces by handing out snacks, cards or whatever. And we have so much fun doing it.

We just started our annual At the Movies series where Pastor Chris takes a movie and brings a biblical truth out of it, much like Jesus did in the Bible with His teaching through parables. At our evening services we serve popcorn and cokes so it really has a "movie" feel to it. I signed up to serve at the 4:30 service and was looking forward to it.

After signing up for that, I also signed up to hand out packets of children's information for our Giving Tree which is a separate ministry from the Events Team with our outreach efforts through the Dream Center. I went and did that Sunday morning and then subsequently we had an Events team meeting about some upcoming changes in organization. So after doing both of those I went home for some R & R before heading back for At the Movies.

I was tired. I have been running on an empty tank for a few months now but there's nothing I can really do about it right now. I can't quit school, definitely can't quit my job and certainly won't quit being a mom and I don't WANT to quit serving the Lord so I press on. But I hop on facebook for a minute and low and behold, there is a fellow Events Team member WANTING to serve that missed the signup! God saw that I was tired and needed rest and He answered my need without me even asking! Although I would have gladly sucked it up and went and served with a smile on my face (did I mention how much I LOVE serving? ;)) I was grateful that someone was not only willing to take my spot but wanted to.  I love love love my church and all the people in it who not only serve the Lord but serve each other and do so not out of obligation but out of a genuine desire to just be a blessing. We never have to beg people to help out and it's such an amazing thing to be a part of!

And I did not miss the movie, as it was a repeat of one we did last year that was well received. Plus I got to see it again while handing out packets!

On Monday, I was thankful that I got to return to zumba! I love going to my zumba class at Crosspoint Baptist Church in Argo. I have three of the best teachers and lovely group of ladies that are in the class. I have so much fun and burn so many more calories in that 45 minutes than I do with anything else--anywhere from 450-600 calories in 45 minutes! Things have been getting in the way of me going lately. Worthy things, nothing lazy--I'm not wimping out. But I have had to take Brooke shopping for work clothes, go to Prayer Team training for the LIFE retreat, etc. etc. I was glad to get to work off some stress and get some much needed endorphins!

On Tuesday, I was thankful for peace in the midst of trials and I'm just going to leave it at that.

On Wednesday, I was thankful for mercy. Brooke and I woke up a little late, hurried to get ready and then discovered the car wouldn't start. I called the only person I could--my ex. I've already posted about how thankful I am for him but I am even more thankful that he treats me so much better than I deserve. He left work, came and got us, took Brooke to school, me to work and then came back to pick me up from work. He then took my old battery out of my car and took me to Walmart while we exchanged it for a new one (it was still under warrant, thank you, Lord, and they didn't give me any problem getting another), bought me dinner and put the new battery in the car. Very few ex-husbands would go to that much trouble.  I was also thankful that my boss didn't give me a hard time for being late. Yes, I'm thankful for mercy.

On Thursday, I was thankful I got to see my friend, Jenny and her sweet little boy, Charlie again. I took Brooke to her apartment (and discovered where I want to move when she graduates!) in Inverness so she could watch Charlie while Jenny went out. I just spent some time gallivanting around 280. It was good to catch up with her and I love how much Brooke loves Charlie.

 On Friday, I was thankful to see the Cougars win another victory and one on the road at that. It was a hard fought game, especially at first. It was heartbreaking to see Terelle on the sidelines in a wheelchair. I am praying that he makes a speedy recovery and realizes that God has a big plan for his life. I hated to see Ty and Art get hurt but hopefully they will be okay in time for next week's game. But I was also pleasantly surprised to see that we are pretty deep in those positions. Our backup QB did a great job, as did the rest of the team. I was not impressed with Decatur at all and I'll just stop there.

Today, I was thankful to get to participate in Church of the Highlands and A21's Race to the Heights 5K for Human Trafficking Awareness. This is my second year to do this race and not only did I participate I also helped set up the food and drinks because, once again, I just LOVE to serve with my Events Team. So yes, despite the fact that we made it home from Decatur late and I didn't get in bed until 12:30 a.m.,  I bounced right up at 5:30 a.m. and was at the church by 6 a.m. to help serve and then run.

Okay, "bounce" may be a bit of an exaggeration! lol  And "run" might be also. I did run some, even though I am medically not supposed to because of my knees (I just can't help it sometimes) I walked the majority of it. But I walked it really fast! (Probably faster than I run!)

My right knee hurt and I may have pulled a muscle in the back of my left thigh but I finished! (yes, we run down and back up the big hill going into the church!)  And I was NOT the last one to cross the finish line!

30 Days of Thankful--Day 15--Prayer!

Today I am thankful for prayer. Not only for the prayers I pray for myself. But also for the prayers I pray for others, especially my children, family and close friends.

Going even further than that, I am thankful that when my heart hurts so badly and I can't think straight; when I don't have the words or mental and emotional ability to pray I can:

1) Ask close friends to pray for me and I have been blessed with some awesome prayer warrior friends or

2) Ask the Holy Spirit to pray and intercede for me.

Today I had to do both as I have been deeply grieved for many reasons.

It started out with me getting my feelings hurt. I shouldn't have. I should understand that my kids are grown and at the age where they are just so wrapped up in their own little lives that they aren't always the most considerate. But the enemy whispers in my ear, "It's your fault. You didn't raise them right. You failed as a mother. You were selfish for a while and now they are paying you back." among other things.  I know that none of that is true. And even if it were true, I have been redeemed in whatever area I might have fallen short. I mean, just look at them! I must have done something right along the way. But I love them so much and miss them terribly and I especially miss when they were little and not only needed me but WANTED me. It's hard. It feels so good to know you did your job as a parent and did it so well that they aren't the leaches I see so many young adults being but at the same time, when you have done your job...well, it can be a little lonely.

So the day didn't go like I'd planned and that ALWAYS infuriates me. I don't think I will ever learn that I can't plan out every minute and sometimes I'm just going to have to roll with it. I tried, I really did but the drive home I just kept hearing the enemy's voice, "You have nothing. Your friends have their own lives. Your children don't want to be around you. Your family thinks your crap. You have no marriage, no relationship, no real career. You only have fat and a bunch of bills and that's all you're ever going to have."

I know I have to stop playing these thoughts over and over again in my head. I've done two semesters of LIFE and two semesters of DivorceCare in addition to six months of professional therapy. Yet sometimes I feel I have learned nothing. And how can I really expect to help others be free when I sometimes revert back into bondage myself?

My gut instinct is still and probably always will be to reach out to the ex. Always a mistake. Though he hasn't moved on to anyone else he has moved on from me. He has stopped caring. And it breaks my hurt. For thirty years my life has been about him. It's a tough habit to break. Whenever anything good happens, he's the first person I think of to tell. Whenever I feel depressed or sad, I want to call him. I have to stop and I know this but sometimes I just can't. God knows I have tried to move on but somehow I just keep going back to that wrong way of thinking and that is that I want to turn back the clock. And I can't. And I get mad because I can't. Same ol' stuff. Same demons just a different day.

And then, just when I think my life is just crap I find out about a friend whose brother is incarcerated and dying. And the state refuses to treat him because he's a lifer. To them, his life is worth nothing. And I know people that don't know him and don't know the family probably think he's getting what he deserves or something and what a waste it would be to help him when he will never contribute anything productive to society. And many people who think this way are supposedly Christians. It blows my mind but maybe I would feel that way too if I didn't see how his life IS valuable to the people that love him. My heart breaks for my friend and her family. I feel powerless and I want to pray but I'm so angry about it. What is Jesus' problem? Why can't He just come back already and take us all out of this horrible place that the world is sometimes?

Yeah, trusting God is really hard. I know He understands what I feel and wants me to talk to Him about it. But today I just can't. I had to call in reinforcements. So if you're reading this, please intercede for me today. And pray that I'll be able to pray for myself tomorrow!

I will be very thankful!

30 Days of Thankful--Day 14--warmth!

As I sat at the football game in 29 degree weather all bundled up in my two shirts, coat, hat, scarf, gloves, jeans, two pairs of socks, boots and huddled under an afghan next to a propane heater I thought about all the homeless and how they endure such temperatures. I am so thankful that I was out there by choice, watching a football game and shivering but knowing I would soon be in my warm car headed home to my warm house!

Whenever you feel the need to complain about the weather, remember there are those that would REALLY like to complain about it. I may not have much but I am very thankful to have heat!

30 Days of Thankful--Day 13--my precious son!

Today and every day, I'm thankful for this precious baby boy who has grown into the most amazing young man!

Today he is 22 and I'm in awe of him. Despite all my flaws as a woman and a mother, with God's grace and guidance, I somehow managed to raise THE most remarkable young man ever. There really are no words that could possibly convey how much I love him or how proud I am of him.

I am thankful to God for choosing me to be his mother and for showing me what unconditional love is. Through becoming a mom, I understand more how much our Father loves us, if that can really ever truly be understood!

30 Days of Thankful--Day 12--coffee!

I started drinking coffee almost 5 years ago. I had just had knee surgery and was looking at another knee surgery but decided to do the 1 mile fun run/walk for the Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis with my friend, Donna.

It was COLD and Red Diamond had a booth set up with free coffee. I never particularly cared for coffee much before but decided I would do anything to warm up. I tried it and it was SO GOOD! For a long time I would ONLY drink Red Diamond coffee. Now I will drink other brands. My favorite coffee is the kind I make at home with sugar and white chocolate mocha creamer. I have recently switched from sugar to stevia to lower my carb count but I still take a tiny bit of creamer.

I can do without it. But I don't want to and very thankful I don't have to!

30 Days of Thankful--Day 11--a day off!

Today I am thankful for Veteran's Day! Of course, I'm thankful for the sacrifice of so many for my freedom. But I'll be honest--I was truly thankful that it's a holiday and I got the day off!

I went and got a haircut (it had been close to a year), got my nails done (going on three weeks with this raggedy things!), cleaned out the car and washed it and also fixed my bifold doors by myself! I did a few other things around the house and am about to do some Bible study both for small group tomorrow night and for LIFE Retreat Prayer Team.

And hopefully, I'll make it to bed early! Yes, I am very thankful for this much needed day!

Thank you, again, Veterans!

30 Days of Thankful--Day 10--this girl!

I am SO PROUD of how well she is doing on her own during her first year of college! I've always known she was smart but I was a little nervous about her being able to handle certain aspects of life. Not that she's immature or anything like that. I guess I was just a nervous mother. But when you have more than one child, you generally spend a lot of time making sure the first one knows and experiences everything. Sometimes you forget about the younger ones because you don't remember what you've told them and what you haven't! Kayti can change her own tires but Brooke didn't know how to pump gas! That's just one example.

But she has done extremely well. She's even handled her eating disorder and health well since being on her own and she seems genuinely happy with her life. Of course, I miss her like crazy! I even miss her cat! And I can't wait to see her and her brother both this weekend!

I love you Kayti Quick! I'm very proud of you and thankful you are my daughter!

30 Days of thankful--Day 9--nieces and nephews

Today, I am thankful for my four nieces and two nephews!

Three of my nieces, I don't see often. They live in Athens with my sister, Misti. But they are beautiful girls.

The other niece, Chloe aka Sissypants celebrated her 3rd birthday so I got to see her and my nephews Cooper and Liam.

They are growing up so fast!

30 Days of Thankful--Day 8--Friends

Today, I was thankful I got to spend time with a few friends! It's been 28 years since I last saw Layne. Loved him in HS and still do! We had a great time at Silvertron's and Hop City.

I have some great friends and I am thankful for them!

30 Days of Thankful--Day 6--Zumba!

Today I am thankful for zumba! I absolutely love my Monday-Thursday class at Crosspoint Baptist Church in Argo. I have been with this group for almost 5 years. They originally met at Matthews Manor and I fell in love with it. There have been times when I was unable to go, due to living too far away, knee surgery, divorce, etc. But I keep going back. It has evolved somewhat into more of a fitness/hip hop class rather than the traditional latin-based zumba but I still love it. I see more results doing it than anything else. Sometimes it's a little rough on the knees but I take my aleve and power through and if I'm on roll with it, it's easier. It's the stopping and starting back that kills me.

Unless I have something with church or baby girl or something I do not miss anymore. Highly recommend! And very thankful to have a healthy hobby!

30 Days of Thankful Day 5--for choices!

Yes, I'm woefully behind on these thankful posts. I just haven't had a chance to get on the laptop for anything other than work and school.

And speaking of school, it was time to register for Spring courses. I needed to take Accounting 626 (Cost Accounting for Management) or Finance 630 (Managerial Finance) and NEITHER are being offered. That throws off my entire plan unless I take one during the summer and I really don't want to. Moreover, I can't take three remaining classes until I have had Finance. I also have to take at least 6 credit hours to get my student loan and God knows I can't afford this without it so....I found myself in a bit of a pickle this week!

Fortunately, I found something that I could take--Finance 631, Securities and Portfolio Analysis, which given my background in HR Benefits and Investments, shouldn't be too difficult. It isn't one of my requirements but it shouldn't hurt me to have it.

The situation is also making me consider even more the possibility of transferring to Columbia Southern University. It is one of UNA's partner schools with a different format--one course every six weeks and mostly writing. I can also get a concentration in HR. I can't deny it's a very appealing option. I am just cautious that a degree from CSU will carry the same weight as one from UNA. But I'm hoping that a MBA is a MBA. It will be a pain in the big toe to transfer but it is something I am considering.

So how does this tie into being thankful? Well, choices! I am thankful for choices! I am VERY thankful that when things do not go the way I plan (and they seldom do anymore), I have choices!

I just hope and pray that I make the right one!

30 Days of thankful--Day 7--football!

Anybody that knows me knows I LOVE football! Especially my Tide and my Cougars! They are amazing to watch and I love everything about it. I love the band playing, the screaming, the action, the smells of the greasy, unhealthy concession stand food--everything! I don't miss a game and I don't leave early. Ever! 

I get made fun of a lot by my girlfriends that are too girly to get it but that's okay. They have their vices and things they like to do that I find silly and this one is mine. Sometimes I wish I had been a boy so I could've played. I might not have had the size but I definitely had the meanness! And I may not know enough to be a referee (and don't get me started on them, they definitely don't know everything either, which was obvious last night!) but I know more than most women and even quite a few men. It's when they disagree on a team or a call that they like to dismiss me as a "woman"! I find that humorous. But that's another topic.

I love football and am thankful for football season!

Click HERE to see my baby girl in action at the 6A Round 1 playoff game!  Clay Chalkville won 85-50 against the Scottsboro Wildcats. Great (but FREEZING COLD) night!

30 Days of Thankful Day 4--my ex!

I thought a lot about what I could be thankful for today. I had a good meeting with my new boss. It's Election Day and that means the political ads are almost over! But I just could not let this day in particular go by without mentioning what it actually is. Or would have been.

It would have been my 25th wedding anniversary. I've been trying not to think about it all day. But how could I not?

We were so young. And everyone tried to talk us out of getting married. I wasn't pregnant. He wasn't going into the military or anything. We were just young, dumb and in love. For many years I tried to remember what it felt like to be that way and I couldn't. Now I remember but it's way too late. We grew up. And grew apart. We didn't make it as a married couple. But we made it longer than anyone ever thought we would. We lasted 21 years.  He gave me the three most incredible babies that grew up into the most amazing young adults. And for that I am very thankful.

Yes, I have many regrets that involve this man. There are things I wish I could do differently. But I can never wish it away. I know one day we will both move on and I hope we will be both be happy. But I also hope that we will look back and remember that there was a lot of good about our life together.

I know he loves our kids and is good to me because of them. And for that also, I am thankful.

30 Days of Thankful Day 3--baby girl!

Today I am thankful for baby girl.  In the last month, my relationship with her has greatly improved. I'm proud of the young lady she is growing up to be. I'm thankful that she is always smiling and happy. I'm thankful that she likes to be involved in things and have fun. I'm thankful for the initiative she has started to take towards long-term goals and securing her future. I am thankful that her array of friends is multi-cultural and always has been. I am thankful for her servant's heart, her love of children and so much more.  I am thankful that when I thought I was done having babies, God had other plans!

30 Days of Thankful Day 2--COTH!

Today I am thankful for my wonderful church, Church of the Highlands!  I am thankful to have had the opportunity to be rebaptized last January, lead a LIFE (Living in Freedom Everyday) group, meet wonderful new friends, join the Events Team at the Grants Mill Campus, finish two terms of Divorce Care and lead Praying for Your Adult Children.

I love that we are a church whose Pastor empowers its members to grow and pursue opportunities to serve others and that we have none of the usual politics and drama that comes with many churches and their numerous committees. I am thankful that we are a church that loves people--ALL people and that no one has to be perfect to join. I am thankful for all the outreach that we do.

I am thankful that because of my church, I have developed an even deeper relationship with my Lord and Savior. I have fallen even more in love with Him this year and am so thankful for the many ways He continues to bless me and my family in spite of the messes I make.

30 Days of Thankful Day 1--my job!

I know these blogs are going to really irritate my good friend, Monique. She hates when people are thankful for 30 days after griping all year long!

Well, gratitude has to start somewhere. And they say it takes 21 days to break/form a habit and I'm going to give it 30. And it's not like I complain ALL the time. I am thankful, truly. It just helps to get the frustration OUT of me so that I can stay thankful on the inside.

So for Day 1 I am most thankful that after all the outsourcing, downsizing, etc. that has happened in the last year I still currently have a job that gives me a steady paycheck. No, it's not my ideal job. And I had to take a pay cut to get it and that is really hurting right now. But at least it's something. And I do like my boss and the work I do. I stay a lot busier than I did before moving to this department and I don't have to put up with customers (just loan officers and that can be as bad sometimes!) But all in all, it's pretty good. And I am truly thankful.

I am also thankful that continuing to look for something more permanent is not as difficult as it once was. So I'm pressing on. I know God has something great for me and I'm excited about it.

Check out my baby girl!!!

Band of the Week: Clay-Chalkville - Week 11



Way to go, Cougar Band!!!