Coop celebrated his second birthday!
And Dylan made it home to celebrate!
Cooper's baby sister, Chloe
Enjoying his cake!
Melanie and baby Liam
My offsprings, the oldest two not too thrilled at having their picture taken...
Met some co-workers for dinner Friday night. I am blessed to share my babies with these two ladies. We work VERY well together! I love them dearly!
Me and Dede aka Phoebes from a few months ago at Sips N Strokes. Love me some Dede!
Sadly, it was these two babies' last day this week. Tyler's mom is going to stay home with him and Demi's family has moved across town. I am really going to miss them! I get SO attached to my babies. That's the part of the job that really sucks!
It's been a crazy few weeks. I resumed my workouts like my doctor said I could but by the second day my left knee was in EXCRUCIATING pain. So I called my doctor who of course was on vacation for spring break but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I was sent to the Gardendale office and the doctor over there is OOOOHHH MMMMIIIIII GGGAAAWWWWDDD a drop-dead gorgeous latino! lol And he's single! lol
Seriously, I managed to convince him to give me a cortisone shot because I truly believe if I can just power through the workouts, lose some weight and then there wont be so much pressure on the joint...
Well...it didnt work. :( So I made my first physical therapy appointment and have completed two sessions. In the meantime, I'm going to do the bike and swimming and weights. No walking, no running, no zumba...for a few weeks anyway. But I am going to try and be ready for a zumbathon April 13 with one of my besties, Donna. I haven't seen her in a while and I really miss her. It's for Relay for Life and we used to Zumba together all the time. I'm looking forward to it. I hope I dont kill myself doing it!
Met an old friend Friday night also and we had a good time catching up. He's going through the same stuff I put my family through last year and I feel really badly for him. It's made me reflect on the things I did, decisions I made etc...
If I knew then what I know now and could go back...but I can't and sadly I can't tell anyone else because we cant learn the things about ourselves without going through all the crap, if that makes any sense. He asked me some important questions that I hadn't really thought about before:
1) Why?
Well, I dont really know the why. In my case, lots of whys. I love Jeff and always will but at some point in our marriage it just became a different kind of love. And that's not an excuse. But I believe if I had really been in that "head over heels, cant get enough of him, just umph omg" kind of love then the temptations would never have mattered.
Another "why" is that I had taken prozac for years and it had lost its effectiveness. And the added stress can sometimes alter your thought processes. Of course I didnt find this out until MUCH later.
And then there was the curiosity factor. Jeff was the ONLY man I'd ever been with and we'd been together half our lives. I was curious. Right or wrong...
2) Do I think I'll ever cheat again?
No. Absolutely not. The "once a cheater always a cheater" is not true. Some of us DO learn from our mistakes. I know I won't ever commit to another man that I dont feel EVERYTHING for. Friendship, passion, intimacy, trust, fun...he's gotta have it all. And I'm quite content with taking it slow, us taking the time to get to know each other really well and be absolutely sure we're ready for the kind of commitment that I know a marriage/committed relationship is supposed to be. I went for 21 years the first time...I am NOT a serial cheater! And I've seen firsthand the pain it causes. I dont ever want to be responsible for hurting someone like that again. I know myself. I made a mistake. But I paid for it dearly and I learned from it.
3) If I regret it so much, why don't I try reconciliation?
Well, number one, it's not completely up to me. But I think the damage has been done and it's irreparable. To try and fix things would only end up hurting everyone more. And plus there's the fact that I STILL don't love him like I should. And he knows that. Could we have stuck it out? Probably. I dont know. But I do believe that everything, good and bad, happens for a reason. I believe that God has a plan and that He has something wonderful in store for me.
All that said, I DO hate to see other marriages suffering. I dont like to see my friends hurting. I wish there was something I can do but all I can do is just be a friend and encourage them like so many of my friends did for me. I truly would not have survived without the love and support of my friends this past year. And I do pray God's blessings on him because he is truly a wonderful guy.
On a lighter note...I am looking forward to Dylan coming home again next weekend, my birthday and Easter! We have a LOT planned! And I have so much to do between now and then...c'est la vie!
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