No, we're not headed anywhere (not that I know of anyway) but we're on day #6 of being a TWO-car family again!! Woohoo! You forget how nice it is when you go for three weeks sharing a ride. And yes, I know there are families out there with NO ride and I should be grateful and I am. Got it. I'm all the more grateful Merc is fixed. Power steering is still a challenge but I can live with that. Heat works better now, too. Gonna try and put new tires on the Jeep--it needs them bad--I just pray that as soon as we do we don't have yet ANOTHER problem with that blasted thing. Please God, let us catch our breath first!
Last Monday, we received the first of bad news for the week. The daycare I teach at is closing. It became official Wednesday night. I am still very upset but I had a feeling it was coming. I'm not going to go into everything right now. I've been through it a million times and I'm just too spent to rehash it right now. It boils down to church leadership having different priorities than what one would think they should be. God is in control and I'm not going to second-guess Him. He can deal with them. And He will. And while I know it's not good to delight in the torment of others, I can't help but take a little pleasure from the thought of His wrath coming down on those who attempt to cause confusion, division and chaos in His house. And Pam, if you're reading this, I know that's your church and I'm sorry if any of this hurts you. I can't imagine how caught in the middle you must feel. But know that I love you, I love Gracie and I don't blame you at all for anything. But I do hope you understand my pain as well.
I've been feeling for a few years now that God is calling me to open my own preschool/daycare. And looking back on my entire life, I can see that He has been not only calling me but preparing me my whole life. Growing up in Mom's daycare, having a heart for His children, my education, my career path, having to leave my own children in child care, my teaching experience...everything comes together at that one point.
Lately, the pull to step out and do this has become even stronger and when we got the news I thought it might be time. I'm prepared every way but financially. So I started looking into it some more. I've discovered that I DON'T want to use government grant money for the same reason I chose NOT to pursue my Master's in order to be able to teach in public school--I don't want the government telling me what I can and cannot teach, who I can and cannot teach or how I can and cannot teach. I leave that up to the Lord. Yes, DHR has some control over that in a daycare setting but for the most part, if your paperwork is done timely and orderly, they leave you alone. When you start using the government's money, they tend to get more involved.
I also don't want to use debt. Jeff and I are working very hard to eliminate the debt we have. I don't think God expects me to create more in order to serve Him. Something about that just doesn't seem in line with His Word.
So, unless God lines up an investor, drops dollars from the sky or something, I'm going to wait on opening my own place. I know it will happen one day, very soon, but just not before the next school year begins. I will spend this next year preparing myself even more for that calling and saving up my seed money.
So I'm spending the weekend dusting off my resume and getting ready for a job hunt. I will still have my current class until the end of May. I am going to relish EVERY moment with those awesome children. I cry just thinking about having to detach from this bunch of kids. I've been down this road before...God has always been so wonderful to bring such amazing kids into my life and it's SO hard to let them go at the end of the year. I guess watching my mom do it has given me that special skill but this bunch...I just don't know. My prayer partner, mentor and probably my bestie these days tells me there's always one class that stands out more than the rest. For whatever reason, they're just special and always will be. This year's class is mine. It's truly a testament of God's goodness and faithfulness how I'm able to say that this has been such a wonderful teaching year for me given all the drama that's gone on.
Drew, Tripp, Caden, Cayleigh, Aaron, Kinlee, Gracie, Conner & Tristen--you are all VERY special kids and Mrs. Michelle is going to love you forever!!! I hope I have given you even 1/4 of what you have given me. I can't wait to see how wonderful you are going to make the world. To know that I had some small hand in that just fills my heart with so much joy! I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!!! I don't know how I'm going to make it when June is here and I don't get to feel your little arms around me, see your sweet little smiles, hear your precious prayers (and even your tattling!) and watch you grow.
And yes, I knew this was coming anyway--they all go off to different kindergartens next year and whether the school closed or not I'd have a whole new crop of kids! But something about the school 'closing' just makes it worse. I don't know why. I guess it just makes me focus on the reality that time is so fleeting on a much deeper level. I do thank the Lord for the time I have left with them--just hope it doesn't get snatched out from under me, there's always that possibility, too! But again, God is in control and His ways are not my ways!
All of THAT going on coupled with family drama surrounding my middle sister and bad news about the sister of a friend, has made it a VERY emotional week for me. Please pray for my parents, Richard & Deborah Busby, my sister, Melanie, and the family of Rachel Blair.
I want to thank each and every one of you that prayed for me this past week. Your prayers were felt and are very much appreciated!
I am so excited about the second meeting of our prayer group coming up this Tuesday. SO much to be thankful for, SO much to pray for.
I am so thankful for today--snow is beautiful, even though I'm sick of cold weather! Even though our plans to go to the homeschool group's Valentine's box competition and lunch were cancelled, we've had fun. We did get to spend some time at my mom's with her kiddos, took Brooke to spend the night at Hannah's--her bestie--and got to watch Kayti try to roll a giant snowball up the hill! Too funny. Jeff brought home Mexican food, we watched a movie and took a nap and Kayti & Dylan made a big snowman. Now they are pestering me to make snow cream!
Hope everyone has had a wonderful day and have a blessed week!
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