well, you know what it's called! LOL
And no, I don't mean by someONE--that really would be a news flash! But as most of you that hang out with me know, I have a really high tolerance level for drugs and alcohol. And I don't mean that I'm a drughead or an alkie but I take after my mom in that things just don't affect me the way they do most people. I have to take FOUR Advils to get rid of a headache and sometimes that's not even enough.
Back in the days when I would drink a lot, I could drink my dad (who is a rather big man) under the table. And I've always been able to walk away from it all (for years at a time) whenever I felt like I wanted to or needed to. So when you hear me talk about having a glass of wine or a margarita, please know, it's probably like water for you!
Same is true for pain meds when I have surgeries. First of all, I cannot take Lortab at all--they do nothing to touch the pain, make me nauseous and make me ITCH to death! Actually most narcotic "pain" medication makes me itch. Maybe it's the codeine? But whenever I get put on something, I also have to take a benadryl to avoid scratching my skin off!
Yesterday, around lunchtime I took my two prescribed percocets along with my benadryl and went to physical therapy. I had a GREAT session--everything felt great and I was really encouraged by my progress that seems so much quicker this time.
So I get home, it's around six thirty (more than enough time for me to have more med), I have some dinner, my two percocets with my benadryl but also because it's almost time for bed and at bedtime I take three prozac, a requip and half an atavan (which I actually left off last night, PTL!) I took my "nighttime cocktail" too.
Within an hour, I was flat on my back! LOL Whoa! First time that's EVER happened to me! Guess I better make more time between the nightime feeding and the bedtime cocktail next time! LOL
But I'm up and at 'em this morning...feeling good, drinking my coffee and wondering what I'm gonna do today...and tonight! Happy New Year!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Christmas Pictures
We had a wonderful Christmas and I hope you all did as well. I am so very blessed! I got a decal for my new (whenever I get it) car that says A-mom (A being for Alabama of course!) and a pink coffee mug. Got a coffee maker for my classroom, a silver dress watch, a sportswatch that records calories burned, heartrate, miles walked/ran, etc., new kitchen knives, some Bath & Body Works stuff and Jeff and I loaded up on camping/tailgating supplies! Got a tent, table, grill, air mattress...can't wait to try it all out!
The kids got pretty much what they asked for and I am grateful not to have spoiled kids that ask for things they can't possibly use or need and know what Christmas is really all about. Takes the stress off the holiday!
We all enjoyed watching Cooper unwrap his presents and dance around with all the electronic lights and noises that came with just about every one of his toys! Dylan finally finished the toybox he'd been working on for him for months and it is beautiful! He put a lot of time, money and effort into it and it shows.
Here are some pictures...
Christmas morning
My cousin Annette and son, Zac
Me and Kayti
me and Dylan
our little man
Kayti and Tabitha
The Henderson's
Dylan and my bff Shari's son, Taylor
my dad, Randy and Jeff
The toybox...
Noisy toys
A few days before Chistmas, I hosted dinner for my bff's. They all came except for Christy--she was sick, it was her birthday and she had to finish up her Christmas shopping. We missed you, Christy!!! But we had a GREAT time. Jeff was good enough to take the kids over to my sister's house so we would have the (small) house to ourselves! I made my famous lasagna and we ate, drank and were merry! Very merry!
That's Shari, Kim & Donna! I could not have made it through this year without all of them (and Christy, too!)
Today, I'm meeting Christy for lunch out in her neck of the woods. Can't wait to see her, it's been a few weeks at least, if not a month! Then taking the girls to the library and Walmart (they have Christmas money that's burning a hole in their pockets!)
Tomorrow, I go back under the knife for surgery on my left knee this time. Melanie is taking me. I wanted to get it in before the end of the year so I wouldn't have to pay another deductible and also get it done while I'm off work anyway. Problem was, Jeff was out of vacation time until 1/1...so he's going to work as usual and Mel is going with me and driving me home. I'm not jazzed about having it done but I know it has to be done and I'd rather get it over with so I can do my therapy and get back to my exercise asap and be in good shape for the summer. I have set goals, baby!
And at least I know what to expect this time and things are better in other areas of my life so hopefully the depression won't sink in too bad. I've lined up a lot of activities to keep me busy and with it being my left knee instead of my right, hopefully I can get back to driving a LOT sooner. Anyway, trying to look at the bright side!
Got my bedroom repainted last week also! I LOVE it. It's the color of coffee (if you drink it with cream and sugar!) and matches my comforter but can also be neutral if I ever decide to change decor. I hung up my pictures and artwork and the curtains that used to hang in the living room. It's a nice little love nest/sanctuary!
But we still want to move! However, first things first. Got to replace Merc. He died a few weeks ago on the side of I-59 and I dont think there's going to be any reviving him this time. *sigh* Aint life grand? So as soon as I'm able to after my surgery, we will be doing some car shopping...not looking forward to it. I'm excited about getting a new(er) car but not excited about having a payment and I definitely hate the haggle with the salesmen. But what are ya gonna do? Gotta have wheels...
Hoping that knee surgery goes so well that we'll be able to go watch Roger play Friday night for New Year's Eve. Between Jeff, Shari, my cousin Annette and her friend Jenny...maybe I'll have enough help to make it! And I won't be dancing (bummer) but I can still sit, sip and listen! Should be fun!
Hope you and yours have a safe and Happy New Year! Welcome 2011--kiss my foot, 2010--glad to see you go!
The kids got pretty much what they asked for and I am grateful not to have spoiled kids that ask for things they can't possibly use or need and know what Christmas is really all about. Takes the stress off the holiday!
We all enjoyed watching Cooper unwrap his presents and dance around with all the electronic lights and noises that came with just about every one of his toys! Dylan finally finished the toybox he'd been working on for him for months and it is beautiful! He put a lot of time, money and effort into it and it shows.
Here are some pictures...
Christmas morning
My cousin Annette and son, Zac
Me and Kayti
me and Dylan
our little man
Kayti and Tabitha
The Henderson's
Dylan and my bff Shari's son, Taylor
my dad, Randy and Jeff
The toybox...
Noisy toys
A few days before Chistmas, I hosted dinner for my bff's. They all came except for Christy--she was sick, it was her birthday and she had to finish up her Christmas shopping. We missed you, Christy!!! But we had a GREAT time. Jeff was good enough to take the kids over to my sister's house so we would have the (small) house to ourselves! I made my famous lasagna and we ate, drank and were merry! Very merry!
That's Shari, Kim & Donna! I could not have made it through this year without all of them (and Christy, too!)
Today, I'm meeting Christy for lunch out in her neck of the woods. Can't wait to see her, it's been a few weeks at least, if not a month! Then taking the girls to the library and Walmart (they have Christmas money that's burning a hole in their pockets!)
Tomorrow, I go back under the knife for surgery on my left knee this time. Melanie is taking me. I wanted to get it in before the end of the year so I wouldn't have to pay another deductible and also get it done while I'm off work anyway. Problem was, Jeff was out of vacation time until 1/1...so he's going to work as usual and Mel is going with me and driving me home. I'm not jazzed about having it done but I know it has to be done and I'd rather get it over with so I can do my therapy and get back to my exercise asap and be in good shape for the summer. I have set goals, baby!
And at least I know what to expect this time and things are better in other areas of my life so hopefully the depression won't sink in too bad. I've lined up a lot of activities to keep me busy and with it being my left knee instead of my right, hopefully I can get back to driving a LOT sooner. Anyway, trying to look at the bright side!
Got my bedroom repainted last week also! I LOVE it. It's the color of coffee (if you drink it with cream and sugar!) and matches my comforter but can also be neutral if I ever decide to change decor. I hung up my pictures and artwork and the curtains that used to hang in the living room. It's a nice little love nest/sanctuary!
But we still want to move! However, first things first. Got to replace Merc. He died a few weeks ago on the side of I-59 and I dont think there's going to be any reviving him this time. *sigh* Aint life grand? So as soon as I'm able to after my surgery, we will be doing some car shopping...not looking forward to it. I'm excited about getting a new(er) car but not excited about having a payment and I definitely hate the haggle with the salesmen. But what are ya gonna do? Gotta have wheels...
Hoping that knee surgery goes so well that we'll be able to go watch Roger play Friday night for New Year's Eve. Between Jeff, Shari, my cousin Annette and her friend Jenny...maybe I'll have enough help to make it! And I won't be dancing (bummer) but I can still sit, sip and listen! Should be fun!
Hope you and yours have a safe and Happy New Year! Welcome 2011--kiss my foot, 2010--glad to see you go!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Christmas to me...
This is gonna be long so if you need to come back another time, I understand--now's your chance! lol
I grew up with my Mom absolutely LOVING Christmas music!!! But she didn't really care for the traditional Christmas hymns or even the familiar secular songs. She liked originals. Some of her favorite Christmas albums were Loretta Lynn's Country Christas, Kenny Rogers' Christmas (and yes, my dad looked like a clone of him back in the day!), The OakRidge Boys, Red Sovine (who actually never sang but talked and told some really really SAD stories with music in the background!) but I think her favorite...and eventually came to be mine as well was The Statler Brothers Christmas Card.
The Statlers aren't very familiar to most people today but they were a traditional quartet that sang a lot of country and gospel. But their Christmas album is just lovely. She would always play them when we were putting up the tree, wrapping presents and especially on Christmas Eve when everyone came over for dinner.
There are SO many songs that I love on that album. One is "I'll Never Spend a Christmas I Won't be Loving You". I really loved that as a heartsick teenager. Jeff and I dated off and on through high school but I knew then as much as I know now that he was my soul mate (if there is such a thing) and the song talked about all the Christmases this couple shared and how each one was special in it's on way, whether things went right or not. I think back on all the Christmases Jeff and I have shared and the song fits perfectly. The Christmas my uncle Danny through a big fit, walked out and stopped talking to my mom--Jeff was there. The Christmas we became parents for the first time, the Christmas I came home from my mom's to find him passed out on the kitchen floor and half dead from what we would later discover was Crohn's disease. The Christmas we had our little girl. The first Christmas after my Maw Maw passed away and we were SO worried my mom was going to try and join her. The Christmas Maw Maw sent us another little girl. The last Christmas in our old house and the first one in our new one. The Christmas I wanted to wring his freakin' neck! lol And so many in between all those and since...
But I think the song from that album I love the most is "Christmas to Me". Each of the four sings a different verse about what Christmas means to them. Here are the lyrics:
Christmas to me is wherever she might be
Singing carols with the choir, hanging stockings by the fire
Making Christmas bows, hanging mistletoe
Cause where she is I wanna be, that's what Christmas is to me
Christmas to me is as far as I can see
Pasture fields covered with snow, white Christmas on the radio
Children and sleds and mom's gingerbread
At home with just the family, that's what Christmas is to me
Christmas to me is a tall cedar tree
Decorated and adorned with Christmas balls and strings of popcorn
Tinsel wrapped with care and webs of angel hair
A final star atop the tree, that's what Christmas is to me
Christmas to me is the newborn baby
Lying quietly in the hay, when all the angels came to say
Peace on Earth to men and I pray for peace again
Scenes of the nativity, that's what Christmas is to me
Christmas to you, may it never be blue
And may all your dreams come true
Merry Christmas to you.
I absolutely love it because it's true. Yes, Christmas is primarily the celebration of Christ's birth. But I dont think there's anything inherently wrong with other things reminding us of that special time. It's such a special time of year and everyone has their own memories and ideas of what makes the time special for them. Even those that are not deeply spiritual find Christmas to be a special time and I think that's the magic of it, the miracle of it and yes, I believe it's by design. ;)
So what is Christmas to me? Well, mine's not gonna rhyme so muddle through it anyway, k? lol
Christmas is as much about the preparation as it is the day. Putting up the decorations, each ornament that the kids made at some point and the memory that belongs to it. It's going all out to make sure the entire home feels cozy and warm and special. It's about arguing with my husband about putting the outdoor lights up!
It's about deciding which stockings to use--the big ones or the little ones! It's about hearing what the kids want for their three gifts and remembering how we came up with that idea/limit one year--Jesus only got three gifts, we do not need more than what He got. And remembering how blessed I felt that they LOVED the idea of being "like Jesus" instead of worrying about how much they could "get".
It's about seeing my kids get even more excited about doing their own Christmas shopping for others and how thrilled they are when they pick something out for someone. It's the pride I feel when they dont behave like little brats over what they DONT get that someone else did.
It's about looking at pictures of Christmases past and remembering the magic of it all and thinking about how much my own parents put into making it all so special even though we usually didn't have two dimes to rub together. And then realizing that many Christmases, Maw Maw came through as Santa and did so humbly and graciously.
It's about the Christmases when we were little and loved to make up plays for our parents or play Christmas carols on the piano, trumpet or whatever instrument we happened to be interested in at the time and seeing our family patiently watching, slightly annoyed but mostly proud!
It's about the Christmases SOMEBODY (usually my dad, but not always) dressed as Santa and paid a surprise visit to our house on Christmas Eve BEFORE he went to deliver gifts!
It's all the special Christmas outfits that my Aunt Margie sewed for us--all matching of course and then later when we were too "cool" for sewn clothes, my mom taking us shopping for our special "Christmas Eve" outfit.
It's about Christmas Eve dinner at my mom's--the best cook in the world.
It's about not being able to sleep Christmas Eve trying to hear Santa sneak in and then later, not being able to sleep because as parents, we were waiting for the kids to fall asleep!
Christmas is about making cookies and candy that you don't make any other time of the year. It's about lots and lots of good food and then next month lots and lots of exercise!
It's about parties and seeing friends, sending Christmas cards, getting a little sloshed and everybody being in a good mood, not worrying about what bills were due but just living in the moment.
It's about Christmas Day naps and leaving all the mess on the floor for a change!
It's about passing all this down to your own children, watching sisters, nieces and nephews play on the floor with their kids and remembering when they were the kids playing on the floor!
It's about missing those who are no longer with us but knowing they are having the best Christmas ever in Heaven and praying that God lets them peek down here at us during our happy moments.
It's about hope...that one day things WILL be the way you dream they should be but being content with the way things are for now.
It's about the DREAM of peace on Earth and that one day things really WILL be perfect.
That's what Christmas is to me.
I grew up with my Mom absolutely LOVING Christmas music!!! But she didn't really care for the traditional Christmas hymns or even the familiar secular songs. She liked originals. Some of her favorite Christmas albums were Loretta Lynn's Country Christas, Kenny Rogers' Christmas (and yes, my dad looked like a clone of him back in the day!), The OakRidge Boys, Red Sovine (who actually never sang but talked and told some really really SAD stories with music in the background!) but I think her favorite...and eventually came to be mine as well was The Statler Brothers Christmas Card.
The Statlers aren't very familiar to most people today but they were a traditional quartet that sang a lot of country and gospel. But their Christmas album is just lovely. She would always play them when we were putting up the tree, wrapping presents and especially on Christmas Eve when everyone came over for dinner.
There are SO many songs that I love on that album. One is "I'll Never Spend a Christmas I Won't be Loving You". I really loved that as a heartsick teenager. Jeff and I dated off and on through high school but I knew then as much as I know now that he was my soul mate (if there is such a thing) and the song talked about all the Christmases this couple shared and how each one was special in it's on way, whether things went right or not. I think back on all the Christmases Jeff and I have shared and the song fits perfectly. The Christmas my uncle Danny through a big fit, walked out and stopped talking to my mom--Jeff was there. The Christmas we became parents for the first time, the Christmas I came home from my mom's to find him passed out on the kitchen floor and half dead from what we would later discover was Crohn's disease. The Christmas we had our little girl. The first Christmas after my Maw Maw passed away and we were SO worried my mom was going to try and join her. The Christmas Maw Maw sent us another little girl. The last Christmas in our old house and the first one in our new one. The Christmas I wanted to wring his freakin' neck! lol And so many in between all those and since...
But I think the song from that album I love the most is "Christmas to Me". Each of the four sings a different verse about what Christmas means to them. Here are the lyrics:
Christmas to me is wherever she might be
Singing carols with the choir, hanging stockings by the fire
Making Christmas bows, hanging mistletoe
Cause where she is I wanna be, that's what Christmas is to me
Christmas to me is as far as I can see
Pasture fields covered with snow, white Christmas on the radio
Children and sleds and mom's gingerbread
At home with just the family, that's what Christmas is to me
Christmas to me is a tall cedar tree
Decorated and adorned with Christmas balls and strings of popcorn
Tinsel wrapped with care and webs of angel hair
A final star atop the tree, that's what Christmas is to me
Christmas to me is the newborn baby
Lying quietly in the hay, when all the angels came to say
Peace on Earth to men and I pray for peace again
Scenes of the nativity, that's what Christmas is to me
Christmas to you, may it never be blue
And may all your dreams come true
Merry Christmas to you.
I absolutely love it because it's true. Yes, Christmas is primarily the celebration of Christ's birth. But I dont think there's anything inherently wrong with other things reminding us of that special time. It's such a special time of year and everyone has their own memories and ideas of what makes the time special for them. Even those that are not deeply spiritual find Christmas to be a special time and I think that's the magic of it, the miracle of it and yes, I believe it's by design. ;)
So what is Christmas to me? Well, mine's not gonna rhyme so muddle through it anyway, k? lol
Christmas is as much about the preparation as it is the day. Putting up the decorations, each ornament that the kids made at some point and the memory that belongs to it. It's going all out to make sure the entire home feels cozy and warm and special. It's about arguing with my husband about putting the outdoor lights up!
It's about deciding which stockings to use--the big ones or the little ones! It's about hearing what the kids want for their three gifts and remembering how we came up with that idea/limit one year--Jesus only got three gifts, we do not need more than what He got. And remembering how blessed I felt that they LOVED the idea of being "like Jesus" instead of worrying about how much they could "get".
It's about seeing my kids get even more excited about doing their own Christmas shopping for others and how thrilled they are when they pick something out for someone. It's the pride I feel when they dont behave like little brats over what they DONT get that someone else did.
It's about looking at pictures of Christmases past and remembering the magic of it all and thinking about how much my own parents put into making it all so special even though we usually didn't have two dimes to rub together. And then realizing that many Christmases, Maw Maw came through as Santa and did so humbly and graciously.
It's about the Christmases when we were little and loved to make up plays for our parents or play Christmas carols on the piano, trumpet or whatever instrument we happened to be interested in at the time and seeing our family patiently watching, slightly annoyed but mostly proud!
It's about the Christmases SOMEBODY (usually my dad, but not always) dressed as Santa and paid a surprise visit to our house on Christmas Eve BEFORE he went to deliver gifts!
It's all the special Christmas outfits that my Aunt Margie sewed for us--all matching of course and then later when we were too "cool" for sewn clothes, my mom taking us shopping for our special "Christmas Eve" outfit.
It's about Christmas Eve dinner at my mom's--the best cook in the world.
It's about not being able to sleep Christmas Eve trying to hear Santa sneak in and then later, not being able to sleep because as parents, we were waiting for the kids to fall asleep!
Christmas is about making cookies and candy that you don't make any other time of the year. It's about lots and lots of good food and then next month lots and lots of exercise!
It's about parties and seeing friends, sending Christmas cards, getting a little sloshed and everybody being in a good mood, not worrying about what bills were due but just living in the moment.
It's about Christmas Day naps and leaving all the mess on the floor for a change!
It's about passing all this down to your own children, watching sisters, nieces and nephews play on the floor with their kids and remembering when they were the kids playing on the floor!
It's about missing those who are no longer with us but knowing they are having the best Christmas ever in Heaven and praying that God lets them peek down here at us during our happy moments.
It's about hope...that one day things WILL be the way you dream they should be but being content with the way things are for now.
It's about the DREAM of peace on Earth and that one day things really WILL be perfect.
That's what Christmas is to me.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Christmas at the Quick's
Had Christmas with Jeff's family this past Sunday. Here are a few pictures:
Jeff, his parents and brother & sister
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff's parents and all the great-grandkids!
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff's niece, Kristin, her husband Jon and son Tyler...
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff's nephew, Drew and his baby Hayden (still blows my mind he has a kid!)
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff's brother's grandsons Braydon and Scotty
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Dylan with Drew's baby Hayden...my son loves babies but I hope its a LONG time before he has one of his own!
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
My beautiful daughters...
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
me and my soon to be ex-husband!
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff, his parents and brother & sister
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff's parents and all the great-grandkids!
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff's niece, Kristin, her husband Jon and son Tyler...
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff's nephew, Drew and his baby Hayden (still blows my mind he has a kid!)
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Jeff's brother's grandsons Braydon and Scotty
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Dylan with Drew's baby Hayden...my son loves babies but I hope its a LONG time before he has one of his own!
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
My beautiful daughters...
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
me and my soon to be ex-husband!
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Recent random pictures
My bff, Shari's gorgeous son, Taylor's Senior pictures. I still have to get Dylan's made! But it's not right that we have grown-up, good-looking sons! All I can think about now is how one day some old lady in a bar is going to be gazing and groping them like we have some other hot young studs! lol
Random Thanksgiving...
Later that evening, Jeff, my friend Jenny and my cousin, Annette went to Courtyard 280 to watch a friend's (that we went to HS with) band play. They are SO good!!! We are their "groupies" lol!
me and my bff, Donna at the Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis and before you freak out, I did the 1 mile fun run/walk and I walked it! Felt good! and it was a LOT of fun!
Random Thanksgiving...
Later that evening, Jeff, my friend Jenny and my cousin, Annette went to Courtyard 280 to watch a friend's (that we went to HS with) band play. They are SO good!!! We are their "groupies" lol!
me and my bff, Donna at the Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis and before you freak out, I did the 1 mile fun run/walk and I walked it! Felt good! and it was a LOT of fun!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
As coherent as it gets...
Yesterday morning while working on getting craft stuff together for my kindergarteners, I was having some REALLY deep thoughts. I didnt get anything figured out exactly--no world crises solved, not even my own problems hammered out. But I remember thinking, "oh I need to write that down and maybe it'll lead me somewhere later" and so I "tweeted" (sounds better than "facebooked", dont ya think? even though I dont like twitter and I'm actually referring to Facebook when I say that) 'feeling a blog coming on later'. ha ha As if very many people care. Some do, I guess. They tell me they enjoy reading them. But most I'm sure could care less but oh well.
Anyhoo, I never got around to blogging yesterday. It was a CRAZY day. My class was wild as bucks so I came home during lunch to cool my heels and fell asleep watching Identity. Love that movie. Love me some John Cusack! But I awoke too late and too slow to get back to work on time and so I ran around all afternoon trying to catch my tail and then THOSE kids were awful, too. And here's the kicker to that--half of them went home early! I dont understand how it is that kids...they seem to get together subconsiously and decide, 'okay we're down in numbers, we gotta make up for it'.
So I hurry home because I'd promised Brooke last week when Shari, Kim, Christy and I went out that I would take her and Hannah to Switch (church) this week. How terrible a mom am I that my daughter begs me to take her to church and it gets a backseat to my social life? But I have moved away from God recently and I just am not jazzed about going to church right now. More on that later...
So I come home and am trying to get the house picked up (yes, George, I did it again! lol haha inside joke) and throw dinner together while I get ready to go someplace I'm sure is gonna burn down the minute I walk in (and we're talking Church of the Highlands here--big place! Wouldn't that be costly for me?) and not really in the mood to go in the first place for a number of reasons when my sweet, wonderful, totally awesome, amazing son tells me that he would take them for me so I could stay home and rest. My heart just melts. I DO love my kid.
Kayti had gone to spend the night at Alyssa's so Jeff and I got some quiet time alone but I never could get my thoughts back on track to blog or do anything else even remotely productive. So sorry all of you who have, I'm sure, been sitting on pins and needles waiting for my "thoughts". Here goes:
Christmas...I am so not in the mood for it this year. Who is with me? lol Normally, it's my favorite time of year and I absolutely love everything about it. But I just can't get into it this year. I thought that when I got my house painted and the decorations up, etc. that would do it but no so. I don't know what it is. I could easily blame it on my medication (been prozac free for three weeks now--yea! Not! Got to get that taken care of asap!) But I really don't think that's the problem. I've been in this mood (blah) since way before I went off the drugs (legally prescribed but let's call them what they are!) :D
I have moments of pride, joy and amusement (though generally under the influence of other self-medication) but my overall mood has just been one of "I really don't give a damn." And so here we are. Hard to think of doing any kind of holiday crafts (waste of money), baking (who needs the extra pounds), shopping (shopping sucks anyway), decorating (what for, you just gotta take it down again in a month) when you have this kind of attitude.
Okay, maybe I do need to get back on the drugs! lol
But seriously, the problem goes much deeper, I think and it's just gonna take some time. I'm not suicidal (nobody schedule an intervention) or even homicidal (just don't piss me off)...just bland. And yes, I realize I large part of it I brought on myself and I'm taking my medicine (the proverbial kind) thank you very much. But it doesnt change anything knowing that. It is what it is.
It's just been a very difficult year...turning 40 (even though I've tried to play it down), family relationships on edge, losing Jeff's grandfather, nearly destroying my marriage (and it's still not completely put back together), losing my job, having knee surgery, losing a student and having a serious car wreck...
So many emotions and so many thoughts that I dont know what to do with. I tried praying and I'm not so spiritually immature that I want to say it "didn't work". I know God is there and I know He is listening and that I have to be patient and wait on Him, etc. I guess I just dont like learning whatever it is He's trying to teach me. And so I've moved away from Him somewhat...oh don't start the prayer chain for me yet--I'm not a lost heathen. I still believe. I still pray. This is just where I'm at right now. I don't want to hear it. And my bestie assured me I'm okay. It's okay to be real with God and tell Him what you think and feel and even what you've done because He already knows it anyway. Tru dat!
Not much else has helped either and most of it has even been rather destructive. Some of it seemed to help at first, as strange as it may sound. But eventually my mind became clouded with even MORE thoughts and feelings that I didn't know what to do with. And if it sounds like I'm talking in code it's because I am just a little. Most of you know what's going on/what went on so you'll be able to decipher what I mean. Others, if you want to know you'll have to ask. Jeff isn't comfortable with me "baring it all" out in the open so I can't really go into details here. But I have nothing to hide and honestly, not really even anything that I'm ashamed of or regret. And therein lies another problem between me and God.
I've always been taught that there has to be repentence in order for there to be forgiveness. And in order for there to be repentence, there has to be regret. Well, I'm sorry, Father but I just don't regret it. Not now. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I don't really believe in regrets (letting a curse word slip out in church, yeah okay...forgive me, Father I have sinned but most things--I say take responsibility for what you do, especially when it was a conscious choice) and I dont generally have them. Most everything iin my life, good and bad, has served some kind of purpose and has made me who I am. And even though I'm not in a very good mood these days, I like who I am. How can I have regrets?
Especially not over these things. I learned so much through it all and quite honestly, it was rather enjoyable, rather special and if I could turn back the clock, I'd probably do everything the same. Well, almost everything! ;) So again...how am I supposed to have regrets? I'm sorry, but I don't.
I had to stay and answer the phones today at work during naptime and I got to talking to a coworker that is going through similar problems but on the opposite side. I am not particularly close to this woman so I'm not sure why but I opened up to her and told her about mine. I dont know, I just felt led to give her some perspective from the opposing point of view and desparately wanted to know what she thought and felt. So maybe we helped each other. I do know I felt a lot better after talking to her so maybe some good can come from something most people consider so horrible.
Where was I going with this...oh yeah. Christmas. Don't worry, I will put a smile on my face and go through the motions. And it will be good. I will pretend to be positive for the sake of all you other jolly little elves out there even if I'm not "feeling" it.
Moving on...Dylan has officially been accepted to the University of Alabama for the Fall 2011! It is also official that he has a partial scholarship! $3500 per year for four years. Jeff and I are beyond thrilled and you would think Dylan would be too but he is stressing about how to come up with the remainder! I keep trying to reassure him that he will probably get the rest of it covered in Pell grants and other scholarships and even if he doesn't, Jeff and I have got this. One way or another, that kid has worked his butt off and he WILL go. Anyone need a kidney? I also think I have a few eggs left...liver is probably not in good shape! haha
But I will make it happen for him. I'm proud of my baby boy and I won't keep going on about that since I've posted about it twice already. But he is stressed so if you want to pray about anything, pray for him and pray he gets the scholarships and stuff he needs or a big bucket of money falls from the sky. :D
I have postponed going to Zumba at Crosspoint until after basketball season. They kicked us out of the gym and into the youth room and its way too small for all the people. Especially when most of those people want to bring their little kids with them and take up what little space there is. Ugh! Can people honestly not find a sitter for a few hours? What's wrong with most of the husbands? Can they not watch the kids while you go get in shape for him? Well, stay fat then. But don't bring your kid to limited space and then get all pissy when they almost get kicked in the head! There, got that out! I will probably start going to classes at the Y next week. I can't do those churches and places where they just watch the dvd's. I'm too much of a zumba snob for that. I want a live teacher! lol
I am running (okay okay, not running but walking...sounds better to say running though) in the Jingle Bell Run this Saturday with my bestie Donna. This run benefits the Arthritis Foundation, which is a cause near and dear to both our hearts. I'm only doing the 1 mile fun run/walk so no one needs to freak out. But I do need to get my butt back to the doc and find out when I get to have the other knee done. (let me go find a container for my joy!) I was planning on having it done during Christmas break so I wouldn't miss too much work but I'm not sure I want to do that. I want to be able to party New Year's Eve and kiss this crazy year goodbye with a bang (or kick it in its fat ass, rather!) Plus I can still feel tissue or something dangling in this other knee which I'm sure he'll say its because I didnt do my physical therapy right or some such bull. Yeah bite me.
Afterward, I'm hoping to go to my friend, Kim's house to watch the SEC game (that is if I can get out of going to the in-laws...ugh lets dont even go there) where I still have not decided who I will root for. I would actually LOVE to root for Auburn. Go all the way SEC and the state of Alabama. But I have a few friends that are REALLY REALLY OBNOXIOUS Auburn fans (not to mention all the ones that call into JOX OD and Finebaum every day) and I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to listen to their crap all year. It would be one thing if they were HAPPY and celebrating for their team. But these few fans in particular don't do that. Instead they spend all their time worrying about Alabama and what they are doing or not doing. Focus on yourselves, douchebags! And try and act like you've been there, even though we know you haven't in a long time! It's funny to me to think that my 18 year old son has seen more National Championships in his lifetime (2) than Auburn fans twice his age have seen! lol And if you want to talk about having class...I just have three words for ya...pot, kettle, black! And another thing--we didn't START this crap with Cam Newton, we just laugh at what's funny (Scam Newton, take the money and run! lol) and we really dont give a rats ass whether he plays or doesn't play. Bite us.
So I may end up rooting for the Gamecocks and (choking) Steve Spurrier! I hate anyone and anything that makes me 1) feel sorry for Tennessee (thanks Lane Kiffin) 2) want to cheer for Spurrier (thanks obnoxious Auburn fans)!
This is definitely one of those situations where I would love it if BOTH teams could lose! lol
No, I'm not looking forward to football being over. It's going to be a boring winter. At least we have recruiting for awhile until baseball. Dang I should have been a boy so I could actually PLAY football. (please don't tell my feminist mother I just said that!)
And after that...I'm sure there's something to do somewhere. Who knows, I may even get in the mood to go Christmas shopping! But if you see me out, stay outta my way! Bah humbug!
j/k Blessings! (I'm sure I'll post again before Christmas so I'll save the usual Christmas greetings for now!)
Anyhoo, I never got around to blogging yesterday. It was a CRAZY day. My class was wild as bucks so I came home during lunch to cool my heels and fell asleep watching Identity. Love that movie. Love me some John Cusack! But I awoke too late and too slow to get back to work on time and so I ran around all afternoon trying to catch my tail and then THOSE kids were awful, too. And here's the kicker to that--half of them went home early! I dont understand how it is that kids...they seem to get together subconsiously and decide, 'okay we're down in numbers, we gotta make up for it'.
So I hurry home because I'd promised Brooke last week when Shari, Kim, Christy and I went out that I would take her and Hannah to Switch (church) this week. How terrible a mom am I that my daughter begs me to take her to church and it gets a backseat to my social life? But I have moved away from God recently and I just am not jazzed about going to church right now. More on that later...
So I come home and am trying to get the house picked up (yes, George, I did it again! lol haha inside joke) and throw dinner together while I get ready to go someplace I'm sure is gonna burn down the minute I walk in (and we're talking Church of the Highlands here--big place! Wouldn't that be costly for me?) and not really in the mood to go in the first place for a number of reasons when my sweet, wonderful, totally awesome, amazing son tells me that he would take them for me so I could stay home and rest. My heart just melts. I DO love my kid.
Kayti had gone to spend the night at Alyssa's so Jeff and I got some quiet time alone but I never could get my thoughts back on track to blog or do anything else even remotely productive. So sorry all of you who have, I'm sure, been sitting on pins and needles waiting for my "thoughts". Here goes:
Christmas...I am so not in the mood for it this year. Who is with me? lol Normally, it's my favorite time of year and I absolutely love everything about it. But I just can't get into it this year. I thought that when I got my house painted and the decorations up, etc. that would do it but no so. I don't know what it is. I could easily blame it on my medication (been prozac free for three weeks now--yea! Not! Got to get that taken care of asap!) But I really don't think that's the problem. I've been in this mood (blah) since way before I went off the drugs (legally prescribed but let's call them what they are!) :D
I have moments of pride, joy and amusement (though generally under the influence of other self-medication) but my overall mood has just been one of "I really don't give a damn." And so here we are. Hard to think of doing any kind of holiday crafts (waste of money), baking (who needs the extra pounds), shopping (shopping sucks anyway), decorating (what for, you just gotta take it down again in a month) when you have this kind of attitude.
Okay, maybe I do need to get back on the drugs! lol
But seriously, the problem goes much deeper, I think and it's just gonna take some time. I'm not suicidal (nobody schedule an intervention) or even homicidal (just don't piss me off)...just bland. And yes, I realize I large part of it I brought on myself and I'm taking my medicine (the proverbial kind) thank you very much. But it doesnt change anything knowing that. It is what it is.
It's just been a very difficult year...turning 40 (even though I've tried to play it down), family relationships on edge, losing Jeff's grandfather, nearly destroying my marriage (and it's still not completely put back together), losing my job, having knee surgery, losing a student and having a serious car wreck...
So many emotions and so many thoughts that I dont know what to do with. I tried praying and I'm not so spiritually immature that I want to say it "didn't work". I know God is there and I know He is listening and that I have to be patient and wait on Him, etc. I guess I just dont like learning whatever it is He's trying to teach me. And so I've moved away from Him somewhat...oh don't start the prayer chain for me yet--I'm not a lost heathen. I still believe. I still pray. This is just where I'm at right now. I don't want to hear it. And my bestie assured me I'm okay. It's okay to be real with God and tell Him what you think and feel and even what you've done because He already knows it anyway. Tru dat!
Not much else has helped either and most of it has even been rather destructive. Some of it seemed to help at first, as strange as it may sound. But eventually my mind became clouded with even MORE thoughts and feelings that I didn't know what to do with. And if it sounds like I'm talking in code it's because I am just a little. Most of you know what's going on/what went on so you'll be able to decipher what I mean. Others, if you want to know you'll have to ask. Jeff isn't comfortable with me "baring it all" out in the open so I can't really go into details here. But I have nothing to hide and honestly, not really even anything that I'm ashamed of or regret. And therein lies another problem between me and God.
I've always been taught that there has to be repentence in order for there to be forgiveness. And in order for there to be repentence, there has to be regret. Well, I'm sorry, Father but I just don't regret it. Not now. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I don't really believe in regrets (letting a curse word slip out in church, yeah okay...forgive me, Father I have sinned but most things--I say take responsibility for what you do, especially when it was a conscious choice) and I dont generally have them. Most everything iin my life, good and bad, has served some kind of purpose and has made me who I am. And even though I'm not in a very good mood these days, I like who I am. How can I have regrets?
Especially not over these things. I learned so much through it all and quite honestly, it was rather enjoyable, rather special and if I could turn back the clock, I'd probably do everything the same. Well, almost everything! ;) So again...how am I supposed to have regrets? I'm sorry, but I don't.
I had to stay and answer the phones today at work during naptime and I got to talking to a coworker that is going through similar problems but on the opposite side. I am not particularly close to this woman so I'm not sure why but I opened up to her and told her about mine. I dont know, I just felt led to give her some perspective from the opposing point of view and desparately wanted to know what she thought and felt. So maybe we helped each other. I do know I felt a lot better after talking to her so maybe some good can come from something most people consider so horrible.
Where was I going with this...oh yeah. Christmas. Don't worry, I will put a smile on my face and go through the motions. And it will be good. I will pretend to be positive for the sake of all you other jolly little elves out there even if I'm not "feeling" it.
Moving on...Dylan has officially been accepted to the University of Alabama for the Fall 2011! It is also official that he has a partial scholarship! $3500 per year for four years. Jeff and I are beyond thrilled and you would think Dylan would be too but he is stressing about how to come up with the remainder! I keep trying to reassure him that he will probably get the rest of it covered in Pell grants and other scholarships and even if he doesn't, Jeff and I have got this. One way or another, that kid has worked his butt off and he WILL go. Anyone need a kidney? I also think I have a few eggs left...liver is probably not in good shape! haha
But I will make it happen for him. I'm proud of my baby boy and I won't keep going on about that since I've posted about it twice already. But he is stressed so if you want to pray about anything, pray for him and pray he gets the scholarships and stuff he needs or a big bucket of money falls from the sky. :D
I have postponed going to Zumba at Crosspoint until after basketball season. They kicked us out of the gym and into the youth room and its way too small for all the people. Especially when most of those people want to bring their little kids with them and take up what little space there is. Ugh! Can people honestly not find a sitter for a few hours? What's wrong with most of the husbands? Can they not watch the kids while you go get in shape for him? Well, stay fat then. But don't bring your kid to limited space and then get all pissy when they almost get kicked in the head! There, got that out! I will probably start going to classes at the Y next week. I can't do those churches and places where they just watch the dvd's. I'm too much of a zumba snob for that. I want a live teacher! lol
I am running (okay okay, not running but walking...sounds better to say running though) in the Jingle Bell Run this Saturday with my bestie Donna. This run benefits the Arthritis Foundation, which is a cause near and dear to both our hearts. I'm only doing the 1 mile fun run/walk so no one needs to freak out. But I do need to get my butt back to the doc and find out when I get to have the other knee done. (let me go find a container for my joy!) I was planning on having it done during Christmas break so I wouldn't miss too much work but I'm not sure I want to do that. I want to be able to party New Year's Eve and kiss this crazy year goodbye with a bang (or kick it in its fat ass, rather!) Plus I can still feel tissue or something dangling in this other knee which I'm sure he'll say its because I didnt do my physical therapy right or some such bull. Yeah bite me.
Afterward, I'm hoping to go to my friend, Kim's house to watch the SEC game (that is if I can get out of going to the in-laws...ugh lets dont even go there) where I still have not decided who I will root for. I would actually LOVE to root for Auburn. Go all the way SEC and the state of Alabama. But I have a few friends that are REALLY REALLY OBNOXIOUS Auburn fans (not to mention all the ones that call into JOX OD and Finebaum every day) and I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to listen to their crap all year. It would be one thing if they were HAPPY and celebrating for their team. But these few fans in particular don't do that. Instead they spend all their time worrying about Alabama and what they are doing or not doing. Focus on yourselves, douchebags! And try and act like you've been there, even though we know you haven't in a long time! It's funny to me to think that my 18 year old son has seen more National Championships in his lifetime (2) than Auburn fans twice his age have seen! lol And if you want to talk about having class...I just have three words for ya...pot, kettle, black! And another thing--we didn't START this crap with Cam Newton, we just laugh at what's funny (Scam Newton, take the money and run! lol) and we really dont give a rats ass whether he plays or doesn't play. Bite us.
So I may end up rooting for the Gamecocks and (choking) Steve Spurrier! I hate anyone and anything that makes me 1) feel sorry for Tennessee (thanks Lane Kiffin) 2) want to cheer for Spurrier (thanks obnoxious Auburn fans)!
This is definitely one of those situations where I would love it if BOTH teams could lose! lol
No, I'm not looking forward to football being over. It's going to be a boring winter. At least we have recruiting for awhile until baseball. Dang I should have been a boy so I could actually PLAY football. (please don't tell my feminist mother I just said that!)
And after that...I'm sure there's something to do somewhere. Who knows, I may even get in the mood to go Christmas shopping! But if you see me out, stay outta my way! Bah humbug!
j/k Blessings! (I'm sure I'll post again before Christmas so I'll save the usual Christmas greetings for now!)
Monday, November 29, 2010
A lot can happen in two months...
Although I still have feelings for Chris, they aren't as strong I dont think. I guess I should be thankful for that. But I have pretty much just swapped that problem for others. Jeff and I are getting along wonderfully but it hasn't been because of any of the "good" stuff we've been doing. We've been bad...very very bad!
It all started exactly a month ago. We were still talking about how I couldn't seem to get past my feelings for Chris (and yes I still talk to him about once-twice a week. I told him that it wasn't fair for him and Jeff to get together and decide who could talk to me and who couldn't--like I'm some piece of property or something and that *I* had asked him to back off a little bit but I didnt expect that we would NEVER talk. We have too many friends in common to be able to totally avoid each other though we aren't running into each other often) A few weeks prior to this "event" which I'm about to tell you about, we had been at a party and my usual drunk self starts texting anyone and everyone. I sent out a mass "roll tide" message and I got one back from Chris the next day. Jeff saw it and hit the roof because at that time I wasn't supposed to be communicating with him at all. Long story short, he basically told me I could get my shit and get out and I called his bluff. He had been thinking the whole time that I didn't have anywhere to go and that he had my head over a barrel. How wrong he was because Shari and I had actually been discussing me moving in with her. Her house payment is next to nothing--I could easily afford half of that on my salary and it would actually be quite convenient for me and the girls. So when I told him that, he backed down a little.
No one is EVER going to control me--not at all.
So we kind of put things on hold for a while to get through a few things going on with the kids, etc. Well, the Friday before Halloween night we went out to watch our favorite band (Roger's Fourth and One) play at Dry Riders and a friend of his went with us. The friend, who I liked okay at the time, dances with me and tells me he wants to be my friend and that I can come talk to him about anything anytime and he won't tell Jeff, etc. Yeah, like I trust and believe that. But anyway...I am drunk so I confess that I'm in love with Chris and he tells me I need to make my move then and quit stringing Jeff along etc. As if a 21 year marriage is "stringing someone along" but I just nod and say yeah, etc.
Well, we are all SO drunk but running out of money so we decide to go back to K's place to drink some more planning to go back to the bar the whole time but Jeff and I start making out in the bathroom and I remember him asking me if I wanted to fuck K. I was kind of taken aback by the question and I dont remember what I answered but I think I said, "if you want me to."
So Jeff and I go into K's bedroom and start fooling around and K is just watching. The next thing I know, K is giving me oral sex while I'm giving it to Jeff. I ended up having my first threesome and my first sexual experience with someone other than Jeff ever in my life.
The next few days I was kind of weirded out about it and worried about the repurcussions of what would happen with Jeff and K at work. But they talked and everyone seemed okay. It actually made me feel closer to Jeff and we had the hottest sex we've ever had for the next few weeks.
I decided I wanted to do it again and so we did a few weeks later and again a few weeks after that (Thanksgiving night).
Now, I'm confused all over again because at first it helped diminish my feelings for Chris a little bit and maybe now even a little bit more, even though I still feel like I do love him. And Jeff felt better so he gave me "permission" to talk to Chris again on occassion, which we have. I've even tried to talk to his wife a few times but she still aint having nothing to do with that which I dont understand since she doesn't know anything actually happened.
But I'm also starting to have feelings for K. It's hard because I know nothing permanent could ever come of anything with us and I'm not sure I would even want it to. But it'just hard to share something so intimate with someone and not care about them--at least it is for me anyway. I guess that's where my limited experience causes me problems.
Not sure what will happen from here on out. I've been tempted to try and get with K alone a time or two but scared also that he'll tell Jeff. I'm wondering if his offer to be my "friend" was just a ploy to get in my pants or if he really meant it. Just thinking out loud here...
It all started exactly a month ago. We were still talking about how I couldn't seem to get past my feelings for Chris (and yes I still talk to him about once-twice a week. I told him that it wasn't fair for him and Jeff to get together and decide who could talk to me and who couldn't--like I'm some piece of property or something and that *I* had asked him to back off a little bit but I didnt expect that we would NEVER talk. We have too many friends in common to be able to totally avoid each other though we aren't running into each other often) A few weeks prior to this "event" which I'm about to tell you about, we had been at a party and my usual drunk self starts texting anyone and everyone. I sent out a mass "roll tide" message and I got one back from Chris the next day. Jeff saw it and hit the roof because at that time I wasn't supposed to be communicating with him at all. Long story short, he basically told me I could get my shit and get out and I called his bluff. He had been thinking the whole time that I didn't have anywhere to go and that he had my head over a barrel. How wrong he was because Shari and I had actually been discussing me moving in with her. Her house payment is next to nothing--I could easily afford half of that on my salary and it would actually be quite convenient for me and the girls. So when I told him that, he backed down a little.
No one is EVER going to control me--not at all.
So we kind of put things on hold for a while to get through a few things going on with the kids, etc. Well, the Friday before Halloween night we went out to watch our favorite band (Roger's Fourth and One) play at Dry Riders and a friend of his went with us. The friend, who I liked okay at the time, dances with me and tells me he wants to be my friend and that I can come talk to him about anything anytime and he won't tell Jeff, etc. Yeah, like I trust and believe that. But anyway...I am drunk so I confess that I'm in love with Chris and he tells me I need to make my move then and quit stringing Jeff along etc. As if a 21 year marriage is "stringing someone along" but I just nod and say yeah, etc.
Well, we are all SO drunk but running out of money so we decide to go back to K's place to drink some more planning to go back to the bar the whole time but Jeff and I start making out in the bathroom and I remember him asking me if I wanted to fuck K. I was kind of taken aback by the question and I dont remember what I answered but I think I said, "if you want me to."
So Jeff and I go into K's bedroom and start fooling around and K is just watching. The next thing I know, K is giving me oral sex while I'm giving it to Jeff. I ended up having my first threesome and my first sexual experience with someone other than Jeff ever in my life.
The next few days I was kind of weirded out about it and worried about the repurcussions of what would happen with Jeff and K at work. But they talked and everyone seemed okay. It actually made me feel closer to Jeff and we had the hottest sex we've ever had for the next few weeks.
I decided I wanted to do it again and so we did a few weeks later and again a few weeks after that (Thanksgiving night).
Now, I'm confused all over again because at first it helped diminish my feelings for Chris a little bit and maybe now even a little bit more, even though I still feel like I do love him. And Jeff felt better so he gave me "permission" to talk to Chris again on occassion, which we have. I've even tried to talk to his wife a few times but she still aint having nothing to do with that which I dont understand since she doesn't know anything actually happened.
But I'm also starting to have feelings for K. It's hard because I know nothing permanent could ever come of anything with us and I'm not sure I would even want it to. But it'just hard to share something so intimate with someone and not care about them--at least it is for me anyway. I guess that's where my limited experience causes me problems.
Not sure what will happen from here on out. I've been tempted to try and get with K alone a time or two but scared also that he'll tell Jeff. I'm wondering if his offer to be my "friend" was just a ploy to get in my pants or if he really meant it. Just thinking out loud here...
Friday, November 26, 2010
I am a proud and happy mom!
So last weekend, we toured the University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa (yeah, I know, like we needed to!) and I am SO glad we did!
Even though we've already spent a lot of time down there this year and Jeff and I have toured it before (I briefly considered going to journalism school there back in '91) we learned SO much about Alabama's history as well as getting to see so many of the new facilities thanks to the 100 million dollar Crimson Tradition fund and learning that Alabama is nationally ranked in so much more than just football!
It absolutely blew us away! It is SO nice and very impressive! And even though it's huge, it's compact--everything is within walking distance (or at least bike riding distance!) and there are shuttles that run all day and night as well. There's even electronic screens inside all the buildings where, if it is raining, you don't have to stand out in the rain waiting on the bus--you can look at the screen and tell how close it is!
Everything is state-of-the-art and new or updated. We even got to see the dorms and all I can say is wow! Why would anyone NOT want to live on campus? It's required for all Freshmen to live on campus because, and I absolutely believe this, they believe the success rate for students is much higher the better connected to campus life they are and this is greatly increased when a student actually lives on campus. The dorms (suites, they are called now) have four to a room but each person has his own bedroom. Two people on one side, two on the other and each pair shares a bathroom. There is a common living/dining/kitchen area with full size fridge and microwave and it is furnished. The furniture is very ergonomical--it can be modified and moved around to create a lot of space and to suit one's liking. The closets are bigger than our closets at home! The entire campus is wireless and free wi-fi.
I knew in my heart that this was where he would want to go. He has pretty much decided (for now and it may change) that he is going to major in Engineering and everyone keeps telling him Auburn, UAH, or Mississippi State are his better choices for that field. But Alabama's School of Engineering is also nationally ranked (you just dont hear much about it because they are so good at so much other) and they are building a new facility as for that as well. Plus if he decides to change his major--he has more opportunities at Alabama because they are so good at everything.
Then we looked at the cost and the scholarship guidelines and discovered that he automatically has a $3500 per year scholarship based on his ACT score alone! That completely covers his tuition!!!! Now we just have to find the money for room, board, books and fees and believe me, we have applied for lots of stuff! I'm confident we can do this. Even if we eventually wind up having to take out loans, we will make this happen for him! He has worked so hard and deserves it.
The girls were even impressed and are now saying they want to go to Alabama as well. Kayti is interested in Anthropology, Journalism and of course, dance & drama so it makes it a good choice for her. Brooke just says she wants to be a cheerleader or a baton twirler for 'bama! lol
But we decided to go ahead and keep our appointment with UAH anyway and Jeff, Dylan and I went up there on Monday. It may be a very good Engineering school but here's the thing--while there's a LOT of opportunity for Engineering majors, there is also a LOT of competition as 40% of the student body majors in Engineering! It's very academic-oriented and while Dylan is a super-smart kid, he's not really "nerdy". I immediately felt that it wouldn't be a good fit for him.
Then we looked at the cost and oh my gosh--TWICE the amount of 'bama and still only the same scholarship amounts. That clinched it right there--he knew he was going to Alabama!
I am SO proud and SO excited for him. I would be proud and happy wherever he decided to go (yes, even Auburn) but truly, this child was BORN to go to Alabama. He's talked about it his whole life and while I'm glad he tried to keep an open mind and considered other options, some things are just meant to be. He has literally worked for this his entire life and deserves to be happy!
So we are gearing up to spend the next four years in Tuscaloosa! ROLL TIDE!
Even though we've already spent a lot of time down there this year and Jeff and I have toured it before (I briefly considered going to journalism school there back in '91) we learned SO much about Alabama's history as well as getting to see so many of the new facilities thanks to the 100 million dollar Crimson Tradition fund and learning that Alabama is nationally ranked in so much more than just football!
It absolutely blew us away! It is SO nice and very impressive! And even though it's huge, it's compact--everything is within walking distance (or at least bike riding distance!) and there are shuttles that run all day and night as well. There's even electronic screens inside all the buildings where, if it is raining, you don't have to stand out in the rain waiting on the bus--you can look at the screen and tell how close it is!
Everything is state-of-the-art and new or updated. We even got to see the dorms and all I can say is wow! Why would anyone NOT want to live on campus? It's required for all Freshmen to live on campus because, and I absolutely believe this, they believe the success rate for students is much higher the better connected to campus life they are and this is greatly increased when a student actually lives on campus. The dorms (suites, they are called now) have four to a room but each person has his own bedroom. Two people on one side, two on the other and each pair shares a bathroom. There is a common living/dining/kitchen area with full size fridge and microwave and it is furnished. The furniture is very ergonomical--it can be modified and moved around to create a lot of space and to suit one's liking. The closets are bigger than our closets at home! The entire campus is wireless and free wi-fi.
I knew in my heart that this was where he would want to go. He has pretty much decided (for now and it may change) that he is going to major in Engineering and everyone keeps telling him Auburn, UAH, or Mississippi State are his better choices for that field. But Alabama's School of Engineering is also nationally ranked (you just dont hear much about it because they are so good at so much other) and they are building a new facility as for that as well. Plus if he decides to change his major--he has more opportunities at Alabama because they are so good at everything.
Then we looked at the cost and the scholarship guidelines and discovered that he automatically has a $3500 per year scholarship based on his ACT score alone! That completely covers his tuition!!!! Now we just have to find the money for room, board, books and fees and believe me, we have applied for lots of stuff! I'm confident we can do this. Even if we eventually wind up having to take out loans, we will make this happen for him! He has worked so hard and deserves it.
The girls were even impressed and are now saying they want to go to Alabama as well. Kayti is interested in Anthropology, Journalism and of course, dance & drama so it makes it a good choice for her. Brooke just says she wants to be a cheerleader or a baton twirler for 'bama! lol
But we decided to go ahead and keep our appointment with UAH anyway and Jeff, Dylan and I went up there on Monday. It may be a very good Engineering school but here's the thing--while there's a LOT of opportunity for Engineering majors, there is also a LOT of competition as 40% of the student body majors in Engineering! It's very academic-oriented and while Dylan is a super-smart kid, he's not really "nerdy". I immediately felt that it wouldn't be a good fit for him.
Then we looked at the cost and oh my gosh--TWICE the amount of 'bama and still only the same scholarship amounts. That clinched it right there--he knew he was going to Alabama!
I am SO proud and SO excited for him. I would be proud and happy wherever he decided to go (yes, even Auburn) but truly, this child was BORN to go to Alabama. He's talked about it his whole life and while I'm glad he tried to keep an open mind and considered other options, some things are just meant to be. He has literally worked for this his entire life and deserves to be happy!
So we are gearing up to spend the next four years in Tuscaloosa! ROLL TIDE!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
50 Thankful Things
I'm gonna take some time this morning to acknowledge all that I am thankful for (or just kill some time until time to go eat...whatever way you wanna look at it! lol) Surely, I can come up with 50 things off the top of my head that I'm thankful for...can you? Let's see...here goes...and I haven't thought about this at all yet and it's in no particular order--we'd be here all day if I did that! And I have a date with Big Bird!
1. I am thankful to be alive but I'm also thankful for the alternative--Heaven and Jesus who paid my entry fee!
2. I am thankful for God's grace and that I'm able to live freely. I think that's the problem of many Christians today and why they seem so angry all the time--they want to sin and can't! lol They totally miss the point of grace...not that we have a license to sin but anyway...now I'm thinking too much again. Sorry.
3. I am thankful for my parents and the wonderful childhood they gave me. It really is the best gift a parent can give their children and no it wasn't always perfect. My parents divorced when I was 2, my mom remarried when I was 5 and I didnt get to grow up with one of my sisters. But they did the best they could and I have lots of great memories to pass down to my own kids.
4. I am thankful for my sisters and extended family that are either awesome or fun to talk about! lol
5. I am thankful for my husband. The only earthly unconditional love I know anything about is the love I have for my children. But the love this man has for me comes pretty darn close! I am very undeserving of it but very glad to have it when I look around at other relationships...I am very blessed.
6. I am thankful for each of my children. Each of them has made my life so wonderful in so many ways. They make me even more proud to be their mom with each passing day. I miss the days when they were little and needed me for every little thing but I'm glad that I apparently did my job well and am proud to watch when they behave and make the right choices which is pretty often.
7. I am thankful for my home. It's small but cozy and it's shelter and better shelter than a lot of people have.
8. I am thankful for our vehicles. They are old "ramsey clunkers" but they are paid for and dependable.
9. I am thankful for Jeff's job. I wish they knew and appreciated what they have in him more but we have everything we need and most everything we want when there are so many that dont.
10. I am thankful for MY job. I absolutely LOVE being back at Clayridge where kids are loved and ministered to and are a priority after working someplace where they werent so much.
11. I am thankful for my friend Shari. She knows my deepest, darkest secrets and realizes "it aint her story to tell"! lol She loves me despite the messes I make of things and is fun to be with.
12. I am thankful for my friend Christy. I am thankful that God has brought us back into each others' lives and I am thankful for her unconditional love as well.
13. I am thankful for my friend Donna. I am thankful for an example of a TRUE Christian in her. Thankful that she, too, loves me despite the imperfect person that I am and thankful that she inspires me to try harder with everything.
14. I am thankful for all my HS friends, Angela, Allison, Toni, Aldona, Heather, etc. that still find me worth their time to keep in touch with and hang out with occasionally. I know that if I ever needed anything, they would drop everything and I hope they know the same is true here.
15. I am thankful for Yvie, Monique and all my other "online" friends that keep me sane. Yvie I hope to get to see you again soon and Monique, I'm still hoping for the chance to actually hug you "IRL"! lol
16. I am thankful for my nephew, Cooper! I am thankful that he provides the "baby fix" I still need every once in a while and am thankful that he is growing, healthy and happy.
18. I am thankful for my sister's in-laws and I hope she lucky she is!
19. I am thankful for the privelege of homeschooling my daughters and thankful for our homeschool group and CORE Academy and the wonderful opportunities and things they are learning through it.
20. I am thankful for 5678 Dance & More and Shalita for running an awesome Christian Dance studio.
21. I am thankful for my kids friends and their wonderful families! It's such a blessing to not worry about my kids when they are with their friends because I know their friends and that they've been raised well by some awesome people!
22. I am thankful for my sweet dog, Mady! If not for her, I dont think I would have survived the last few months with my sanity in tact.
23. I am thankful for Facebook. Despite the few "problems" it has caused me and some of my friends, it has also enabled me to reconnect with so many people that I love, including a sister. The pros far outweigh the cons.
24. I am thankful that my husband has been in remission for five years and counting!
25. I am thankful that I am relatively healthy and able to enjoy active hobbies like zumba!
26. I am thankful for Sips N Strokes!
27. I am thankful for music.
28. I am thankful for JOX, especially the Opening Drive and Finebaum!
29. I am thankful to be an Alabama fan!
30. I am thankful that my son is 'bama bound!
31. I am thankful for Coke, sweet tea and bottled water!
32. I am also thankful for Long Island tea, Margaritas and Crown!
33. I am thankful that I am a good cook and enjoy it most of the time.
34. I am thankful for good places to go eat when I dont feel like cooking!
35. I am thankful for a husband that likes to cook when I dont feel like cooking and we can't afford to go out!
36. I am thankful that both my daughters now say they want to go to the University of Alabama.
37. I am thankful that my son enjoys woodworking and is really good at it.
38. I am thankful that my daughters are talented dancers.
39. I am thankful for Starbucks, Yankee Candles and bookstores.
40. I am thankful for Criminal Minds!
41. I am thankful that I know how to do a lot of practical things--sew (thanks Maw Maw), cook from scratch (thanks Mom), work on cars (thanks Mom, Dad & Jeff) etc.
42. I am thankful that I have been to places many people only dream about.
43. I am thankful that I finished college, even if I will be paying for it the rest of my life!
44. I am thankful for the friends I met in college and the experiences I had!
45. I am thankful that even at age 40, I still have goals, dreams and ambitions.
46. I am thankful for my boobs, good hair and good skin! lol
47. I am thankful that I am NOT shy!
48. I am thankful to live in America!
49. I am thankful for my cell phone.
50. I am thankful for the gift of writing!
Happy Thanksgiving!
1. I am thankful to be alive but I'm also thankful for the alternative--Heaven and Jesus who paid my entry fee!
2. I am thankful for God's grace and that I'm able to live freely. I think that's the problem of many Christians today and why they seem so angry all the time--they want to sin and can't! lol They totally miss the point of grace...not that we have a license to sin but anyway...now I'm thinking too much again. Sorry.
3. I am thankful for my parents and the wonderful childhood they gave me. It really is the best gift a parent can give their children and no it wasn't always perfect. My parents divorced when I was 2, my mom remarried when I was 5 and I didnt get to grow up with one of my sisters. But they did the best they could and I have lots of great memories to pass down to my own kids.
4. I am thankful for my sisters and extended family that are either awesome or fun to talk about! lol
5. I am thankful for my husband. The only earthly unconditional love I know anything about is the love I have for my children. But the love this man has for me comes pretty darn close! I am very undeserving of it but very glad to have it when I look around at other relationships...I am very blessed.
6. I am thankful for each of my children. Each of them has made my life so wonderful in so many ways. They make me even more proud to be their mom with each passing day. I miss the days when they were little and needed me for every little thing but I'm glad that I apparently did my job well and am proud to watch when they behave and make the right choices which is pretty often.
7. I am thankful for my home. It's small but cozy and it's shelter and better shelter than a lot of people have.
8. I am thankful for our vehicles. They are old "ramsey clunkers" but they are paid for and dependable.
9. I am thankful for Jeff's job. I wish they knew and appreciated what they have in him more but we have everything we need and most everything we want when there are so many that dont.
10. I am thankful for MY job. I absolutely LOVE being back at Clayridge where kids are loved and ministered to and are a priority after working someplace where they werent so much.
11. I am thankful for my friend Shari. She knows my deepest, darkest secrets and realizes "it aint her story to tell"! lol She loves me despite the messes I make of things and is fun to be with.
12. I am thankful for my friend Christy. I am thankful that God has brought us back into each others' lives and I am thankful for her unconditional love as well.
13. I am thankful for my friend Donna. I am thankful for an example of a TRUE Christian in her. Thankful that she, too, loves me despite the imperfect person that I am and thankful that she inspires me to try harder with everything.
14. I am thankful for all my HS friends, Angela, Allison, Toni, Aldona, Heather, etc. that still find me worth their time to keep in touch with and hang out with occasionally. I know that if I ever needed anything, they would drop everything and I hope they know the same is true here.
15. I am thankful for Yvie, Monique and all my other "online" friends that keep me sane. Yvie I hope to get to see you again soon and Monique, I'm still hoping for the chance to actually hug you "IRL"! lol
16. I am thankful for my nephew, Cooper! I am thankful that he provides the "baby fix" I still need every once in a while and am thankful that he is growing, healthy and happy.
18. I am thankful for my sister's in-laws and I hope she lucky she is!
19. I am thankful for the privelege of homeschooling my daughters and thankful for our homeschool group and CORE Academy and the wonderful opportunities and things they are learning through it.
20. I am thankful for 5678 Dance & More and Shalita for running an awesome Christian Dance studio.
21. I am thankful for my kids friends and their wonderful families! It's such a blessing to not worry about my kids when they are with their friends because I know their friends and that they've been raised well by some awesome people!
22. I am thankful for my sweet dog, Mady! If not for her, I dont think I would have survived the last few months with my sanity in tact.
23. I am thankful for Facebook. Despite the few "problems" it has caused me and some of my friends, it has also enabled me to reconnect with so many people that I love, including a sister. The pros far outweigh the cons.
24. I am thankful that my husband has been in remission for five years and counting!
25. I am thankful that I am relatively healthy and able to enjoy active hobbies like zumba!
26. I am thankful for Sips N Strokes!
27. I am thankful for music.
28. I am thankful for JOX, especially the Opening Drive and Finebaum!
29. I am thankful to be an Alabama fan!
30. I am thankful that my son is 'bama bound!
31. I am thankful for Coke, sweet tea and bottled water!
32. I am also thankful for Long Island tea, Margaritas and Crown!
33. I am thankful that I am a good cook and enjoy it most of the time.
34. I am thankful for good places to go eat when I dont feel like cooking!
35. I am thankful for a husband that likes to cook when I dont feel like cooking and we can't afford to go out!
36. I am thankful that both my daughters now say they want to go to the University of Alabama.
37. I am thankful that my son enjoys woodworking and is really good at it.
38. I am thankful that my daughters are talented dancers.
39. I am thankful for Starbucks, Yankee Candles and bookstores.
40. I am thankful for Criminal Minds!
41. I am thankful that I know how to do a lot of practical things--sew (thanks Maw Maw), cook from scratch (thanks Mom), work on cars (thanks Mom, Dad & Jeff) etc.
42. I am thankful that I have been to places many people only dream about.
43. I am thankful that I finished college, even if I will be paying for it the rest of my life!
44. I am thankful for the friends I met in college and the experiences I had!
45. I am thankful that even at age 40, I still have goals, dreams and ambitions.
46. I am thankful for my boobs, good hair and good skin! lol
47. I am thankful that I am NOT shy!
48. I am thankful to live in America!
49. I am thankful for my cell phone.
50. I am thankful for the gift of writing!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Dylan's birthday weekend...
I asked him a few weeks ago what he wanted for his birthday and his reponse was Mississippi State.
I was confused at first because at one time, he'd considered going to school there--they supposedly have an excellent engineering program. We even scheduled a campus tour but he later changed his mind.
Come to find out, he was talking about wanting to go to the game. Ouch! It's been awhile since any of us have been to an Alabam game--I haven't been since before he was born! But Jeff and Dylan have both went but it's still been awhile. And since the arrival of St. Saban, we've not been able to afford the tickets.
Well, that's one thing two losses will do for ya--bring the price of tickets down! lol I found some excellent seats on Stubhub.com for a VERY reasonable price so they could both go. I love to tailgate--being at the game is just icing on the cake for me. My friend,Shari and I decided we would tag along and just hang out on campus all day and then go watch at Gallettes or somewhere. But her mom has season tickets and wasn't going to use two of them this time so we wound up going, too!
At the last minute, my friend, Christy, decided to tag along even though she didn't have a ticket. We figured she might be able to find one when we got there or she could stay at Gallettes and watch--she just had to get out of the house!
We hung out on the quad all day and then the three of us girls went to Gallettes leaving the guys to walk up and down the street, etc. till gametime. Well, while we were in Gallettes, we met some very nice folks and shared a table with them. The old man bought us all a round of Yellowhammers! Then this cute guy asks if he could rest his leg up on the platform of our booth. Well, flirty me says, "sure, hun, you can put your leg there, as long as I can put my hand here..." and I put my hand on his knee! lol
He said, "hey, whatever floats your boat!" Then we all got to talking and he was very nice. He had graduated in 2000 and of course, was in town for the game. He also used to work at Gallettes blah blah blah. Well, when he found out Christy didn't have a ticket, he got on the phone, claiming to "know people".
We thought, yeah right...what a line! lol He disappeared and we decided Christy was just gonna stay there and we'd come back for her after the game. We were gettin up to leave and cute leg guy comes back with a ticket and just hands it to Christy!
We were floored! We didn't know where it was, just knew it wasn't near us but we didn't care! She hugged him and we left.
We get to the game and Christy texts me--she is in the freakin' skybox!!!! Free food, free drinks...Saban and the players walked right in front of her! I guess cute leg guy really did "know people" and hey, it pays to flirt a little sometimes! Dangit, I rubbed that leg though--that should have been MY ticket!!!! lol
We had the best time! The atmosphere at Bryant Denny is amazing! And even with two losses, that stadium was PACKED OUT!!!! Tide fans are the best! The only downside was they didn't do the Rammer Jammer! But we did it ourselves--we were having a great time!!!
Of course, my BIL has to try and ruin my fun by texting me about Auburn--like who the heck cares? I'm in God's country dangit, leave me alone!!! lol Enjoy it while it lasts, dumbass! It's all gonna be stripped! lol
After the game, we went to Longhorns for dinner and of course, met more wonderful 'bama fans. It was a LATE night but we had so much fun!!! And my baby boy LOVED his seats and had a good time, too!
We will be touring the campus Saturday morning--his application is still pending the arrival of his ACT writing score and his HS transcript. But we're not worried about him getting accepted.
He tours UAH on Monday as well. UAH will probably be the better choice for him but a big part of me hopes he picks BAMA!!! And I will actually be surprised if he doesn't!
I was confused at first because at one time, he'd considered going to school there--they supposedly have an excellent engineering program. We even scheduled a campus tour but he later changed his mind.
Come to find out, he was talking about wanting to go to the game. Ouch! It's been awhile since any of us have been to an Alabam game--I haven't been since before he was born! But Jeff and Dylan have both went but it's still been awhile. And since the arrival of St. Saban, we've not been able to afford the tickets.
Well, that's one thing two losses will do for ya--bring the price of tickets down! lol I found some excellent seats on Stubhub.com for a VERY reasonable price so they could both go. I love to tailgate--being at the game is just icing on the cake for me. My friend,Shari and I decided we would tag along and just hang out on campus all day and then go watch at Gallettes or somewhere. But her mom has season tickets and wasn't going to use two of them this time so we wound up going, too!
At the last minute, my friend, Christy, decided to tag along even though she didn't have a ticket. We figured she might be able to find one when we got there or she could stay at Gallettes and watch--she just had to get out of the house!
We hung out on the quad all day and then the three of us girls went to Gallettes leaving the guys to walk up and down the street, etc. till gametime. Well, while we were in Gallettes, we met some very nice folks and shared a table with them. The old man bought us all a round of Yellowhammers! Then this cute guy asks if he could rest his leg up on the platform of our booth. Well, flirty me says, "sure, hun, you can put your leg there, as long as I can put my hand here..." and I put my hand on his knee! lol
He said, "hey, whatever floats your boat!" Then we all got to talking and he was very nice. He had graduated in 2000 and of course, was in town for the game. He also used to work at Gallettes blah blah blah. Well, when he found out Christy didn't have a ticket, he got on the phone, claiming to "know people".
We thought, yeah right...what a line! lol He disappeared and we decided Christy was just gonna stay there and we'd come back for her after the game. We were gettin up to leave and cute leg guy comes back with a ticket and just hands it to Christy!
We were floored! We didn't know where it was, just knew it wasn't near us but we didn't care! She hugged him and we left.
We get to the game and Christy texts me--she is in the freakin' skybox!!!! Free food, free drinks...Saban and the players walked right in front of her! I guess cute leg guy really did "know people" and hey, it pays to flirt a little sometimes! Dangit, I rubbed that leg though--that should have been MY ticket!!!! lol
We had the best time! The atmosphere at Bryant Denny is amazing! And even with two losses, that stadium was PACKED OUT!!!! Tide fans are the best! The only downside was they didn't do the Rammer Jammer! But we did it ourselves--we were having a great time!!!
Of course, my BIL has to try and ruin my fun by texting me about Auburn--like who the heck cares? I'm in God's country dangit, leave me alone!!! lol Enjoy it while it lasts, dumbass! It's all gonna be stripped! lol
After the game, we went to Longhorns for dinner and of course, met more wonderful 'bama fans. It was a LATE night but we had so much fun!!! And my baby boy LOVED his seats and had a good time, too!
We will be touring the campus Saturday morning--his application is still pending the arrival of his ACT writing score and his HS transcript. But we're not worried about him getting accepted.
He tours UAH on Monday as well. UAH will probably be the better choice for him but a big part of me hopes he picks BAMA!!! And I will actually be surprised if he doesn't!
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