Okay, more about my "transition" to a working-full-time-homeschooling mom.
As I said before, much prayer and thought went into it--both on my part and on my boss' part. But God just took care of every detail and gave me such a peace about taking this step. And when I think back on the biggest changes/challenges in my life, whenever God has wanted me to walk through a door, he has opened it all the way for me--with hardly no effort required on my part. And when I was about to do something I wasn't supposed to do--He slammed it shut!
I never would have even thought about attempting to take this on but after I thought and prayed, I got up the courage to speak to Donna and whoa and behold...she was even more enthusiastic than I. That is the moment I knew I was doing what God wanted me to do. This is what He has for me right now. This is my ministry. Some of those children NEVER get to hear about Jesus except at the Academy. What's more, for some of them--that's the only time an adult hugs them and loves on them and pays them any attention at all! I feel so blessed to be one of the ones to get to do that. I have formed special bonds with so many of them--even some of the most difficult ones just have a way of working themselves into my heart! I really couldn't be more excited about this! I give all the glory to God!
All that said, I'm not an idiot. I realize that I will have to give up some things. Particularly Community Bible Study and co-op. I struggled with both but--and please do not take this the wrong way--here are my feelings about each:
Community Bible Study--this is my second year to attempt this feat. I absolutely love the concept of this organization--all denominations, all walks of life, all backgrounds coming together to study God's Word, pray together, fellowship together, etc. all while our children are able to follow along studying the same Scriptures that we do--the idea is phenomenal. I have hung with this year much longer than the first year I attempted this. The first year was also our first year to homeschool and shortly after both began was when the Clearview fiasco happened for me. It was too overwhelming. I also didn't feel like I fit in with the core group I'd been assigned to so when everything blew up, I knew it wasn't either the right thing for me or the right time.
Two years later, I decided to try it again because again--the idea is just so appealing to me. Even after being back at Clearview for over a year now, I still don't have a closeness to my fellow Christians that I long for. My SS class is great and I love it. But I am very careful about how much of myself I share and that makes me very sad. My prayer is that this will change eventually. I don't blame anyone for this, I know it's mostly me. But getting back to my point, I really longed for a close-knit group to pray with and share with and study God's word with so I decided to give CBS another go. This year's core group at CBS has been fabulous. Our leader is the sweetest person I have ever met. Her passion for God's Word is unlike anything I've ever seen. The other members are some of the most wonderful Christian women I've ever known and I truly love all of them. I will miss not seeing them next year.
But honestly, the rest of it, I can do without. The lectures are not stimulating to me (and I don't say that to be disrespectful of the lecturer at all--it's just not my style of learning) and I get the feeling that more emphasis is put on lecture than on the amazing things a core group can accomplish together and I feel it should be the other way around. Too many times, I feel as if we've had to cut it short when God is clearly moving just to make it to the lecture "on time". I don't feel right about that.
So I have decided to once again give it up and keep seeking how God would have me learn more about Him and His Word. I would really love to find a "prayer group" or start one. Maybe I live in a fantasy world of my books but something like the Yada Yada prayer group is right up my alley! I will keep searching and also keep looking for other ways to ground my children in God's word as well.
As for co-op, I love the class I teach and I will continue to teach it. Thanks so much to Donna Nielsen who has graciously offered her home to our kids who want to keep participating in this. I know it sounds silly to so many but I feel like I've really hit on something here, usuing the American Girl books to teach history and literature. If you could see the way the girls' faces light up when we are in class together, you'd have to agree. I may not have the following that I currently have by taking the class out of the co-op but I do know that I have at least 7 and the rest I leave up to God. He'll put the kids he wants in that class there.
As much as I love the class, I have not really enjoyed "co-op" this semester. I don't know why. I can't quite put my finger on it other than the changes that have been made since leadership changed hands. I don't blame any one person but it just feels like there are too many "rules", too many chiefs and not enough indians (for lack of a better expression). It seems to be becoming just another CORE and I feel that it should be more about enrichment and let CORE do the academics. But that's just my opinion. It also feels too much like school administration. I get that there has to be some guidelines but like I said, I don't know what it is, it just feels different and because so, I don't have a problem letting go of it. Maybe God has instrumented that feeling because He knew otherwise I would have a hard time letting go and obeying Him telling me to go teach at the Academy!
Anyway, I am carefully choosing our activities and praying over our transition into this new chapter in our lives. I've worked full-time before. I've even taught before. I've homeschooled now for three years. This is the first time I've ever attempted all this at the same time and while I have complete confidence that I'm following God's leading and that He will work all things to the good, I am keeping that in the forefront of my mind while I take this all very seriously. I would covet your prayers for my family during the coming months.
Blessings,
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