The biggest misconception you think people have about single life.
That single people are somehow flawed and/or miserable. And to a degree it's true. We are flawed but no more so than married people. The Bible says We ALL sin and fall short. And let's face it--there are some out there that just will always be single for whatever reason. And that's okay. It doesn't make them any less valuable as individuals. As far as misery goes, yes, some are miserable. But I think those people would be miserable regardless of their relationship status. Happiness comes from within and from above.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
The Single Woman's 30 Day Blog Challenge Day 4
Your biggest fear as a single person.
It used to be that I would never remarry or find anyone to grow old with but I think I'm pretty much over that. Sometimes I worry that I haven't saved enough money for my retirement. In fact, I KNOW i haven't and I no longer have my husband's pension since I no longer have my husband! But I choose to think of this as part of living on faith, knowing that God will supply all my needs. He always has. What's more, He has not given me a spirit of fear. He is in total control and has ordained my days.
It used to be that I would never remarry or find anyone to grow old with but I think I'm pretty much over that. Sometimes I worry that I haven't saved enough money for my retirement. In fact, I KNOW i haven't and I no longer have my husband's pension since I no longer have my husband! But I choose to think of this as part of living on faith, knowing that God will supply all my needs. He always has. What's more, He has not given me a spirit of fear. He is in total control and has ordained my days.
The Single Woman's 30 Day Blog Challenge Day 3
Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.
Any day that I don't have to cook and can come home and have cereal for dinner without feeling guilty!
It was also pretty awesome when I bought my mustang--totally a car for a single woman (even if she does have two teenage daughters still living at home)--and bought it BY MYSELF!
Any day that I don't have to cook and can come home and have cereal for dinner without feeling guilty!
It was also pretty awesome when I bought my mustang--totally a car for a single woman (even if she does have two teenage daughters still living at home)--and bought it BY MYSELF!
The Single Woman's 30 Day Blog Challenge--Day 2
Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.
I can only pick just one? Haha
Most moments I am pretty happy. But having been married and had the joy of three kids living at home at one point in my life, the last few years have definitely been years of multiple adjustments. I've had to adjust to not only the divorce, living on my own and all the challenges that brings but my oldest child and only son graduated high school and moved off to college as well. I had to move a lot during the first year and all the getting adjusted kind of kept my busy and my mind off the realization that "I am now single", even though I did date and do single woman things.
So I guess it first hit me the first New Year's Eve 2011 when my ex picked up the kids and I was all alone in my new apartment. I had no car at the time and all my other friends had plans so I tried to make the best of it. But I have never felt more alone in my life than I did at that moment. What did I do? In my infinite wisdom (not!) I called an old boyfriend. That turned out to be a HUGE mistake! lol
I have since learned to try and embrace being alone. My TO DO list seems to be never ending and that's a good thing for me because it isn't just filled with the "have to's" it also has some craft projects, books I want to read, the bucket list, improvements and decorating ideas for the apartment, goals and dreams, etc. etc.
More and more lately, I've turned to God's Word for comfort. In fact, the topic in my DivorceCare group this week was 'Loneliness' and we read about when Jesus was betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter and ultimately God the Father turned His back on His own Son in order to save the world. As a Christian, I knew these things. But I'd never thought about them in the context of how lonely Jesus must have felt during that time. Wow! To realize that my Savior knows and understands what I'm going through is such a great comfort to me.
I can only pick just one? Haha
Most moments I am pretty happy. But having been married and had the joy of three kids living at home at one point in my life, the last few years have definitely been years of multiple adjustments. I've had to adjust to not only the divorce, living on my own and all the challenges that brings but my oldest child and only son graduated high school and moved off to college as well. I had to move a lot during the first year and all the getting adjusted kind of kept my busy and my mind off the realization that "I am now single", even though I did date and do single woman things.
So I guess it first hit me the first New Year's Eve 2011 when my ex picked up the kids and I was all alone in my new apartment. I had no car at the time and all my other friends had plans so I tried to make the best of it. But I have never felt more alone in my life than I did at that moment. What did I do? In my infinite wisdom (not!) I called an old boyfriend. That turned out to be a HUGE mistake! lol
I have since learned to try and embrace being alone. My TO DO list seems to be never ending and that's a good thing for me because it isn't just filled with the "have to's" it also has some craft projects, books I want to read, the bucket list, improvements and decorating ideas for the apartment, goals and dreams, etc. etc.
More and more lately, I've turned to God's Word for comfort. In fact, the topic in my DivorceCare group this week was 'Loneliness' and we read about when Jesus was betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter and ultimately God the Father turned His back on His own Son in order to save the world. As a Christian, I knew these things. But I'd never thought about them in the context of how lonely Jesus must have felt during that time. Wow! To realize that my Savior knows and understands what I'm going through is such a great comfort to me.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
The Single Woman's 30 day Blog Challenge--Day 1
"Why are you still single?"
I always answer honestly but how much detail I go into usually depends on the person. With some people, I simply respond, "we got married too young and though we worked really hard for 21 years, it just didn't work out." For closer friends or those I might want to get closer to, I still share the truth. "We got married too young and though we overcame MANY obstacles, we did not have a godly marriage. I was searching for something more. Now I know that I wanted a spiritual partner, someone who would pray with me and for me. But at the time, I thought I wanted to experience physical intimacy with someone else and so I let Satan trick me into an affair." Two and a half years later, I am single because I want to fix what was broken in me before I attempt to be anyone else's wife again. I am trusting God to either restore my marriage (I'm doubtful but I know with God, all things are possible. I don't know that it's what *I* even want but I am completely open to what God wants), bring me a truly amazing and godly man or serve Him being single for the rest of my life. Whatever He decides. I'm open to it.
I always answer honestly but how much detail I go into usually depends on the person. With some people, I simply respond, "we got married too young and though we worked really hard for 21 years, it just didn't work out." For closer friends or those I might want to get closer to, I still share the truth. "We got married too young and though we overcame MANY obstacles, we did not have a godly marriage. I was searching for something more. Now I know that I wanted a spiritual partner, someone who would pray with me and for me. But at the time, I thought I wanted to experience physical intimacy with someone else and so I let Satan trick me into an affair." Two and a half years later, I am single because I want to fix what was broken in me before I attempt to be anyone else's wife again. I am trusting God to either restore my marriage (I'm doubtful but I know with God, all things are possible. I don't know that it's what *I* even want but I am completely open to what God wants), bring me a truly amazing and godly man or serve Him being single for the rest of my life. Whatever He decides. I'm open to it.
Nuggets from reCreate13
From Priscilla Shirer, Friday evening:
How many times has God tried to position you to receive what He has for you and you have rebelled and fought Him? And yet He is STILL patiently waiting and guiding you to your destiny. Some will not hang with you through this change. He always will. God is patient!
I cannot tell you how many different ways this spoke to me. There have been so many times I have felt led to do more for God. I am not sure yet what that "more" is but every time I get close, I get afraid. I am afraid of a lot of things (and that may come as a big shock to some of you) but I think the biggest thing I am afraid of is missing out on something better. That has been the root of so many of my issues over the course of my life. Changing jobs, changing majors, changing schools, changing careers, changing living locations, changing churches and ultimately, changing marital statuses. I guess somewhere deep down, for some reason, I always felt there was something better, something more that was just out of my reach. Many times I didn't realize what the "more" was and the few times I was close to it, I was once again afraid that I would have to give up something better to get it.
Many years ago, my family attended a local baptist church and I got very involved in the children's ministry. When the children's pastor decided to leave and accept a position out of state, my name was immediately put up as a candidate for interim director. But at the time I was desperately trying to live in both worlds because my husband was not saved. I disclosed on my blog at the time about drinking alcohol on occassion. It was read by the wrong person and long story short, instead of doing the biblical thing and coming to talk to me about it, the information was forwarded to my pastor. You may or may not know that many churches but particularly baptist churches take a dim view of alcohol consumption and so I was asked to withdraw my name from consideration. I did but I was so hurt that my family and I left the church.
In hindsight, I realize that I did exercise some bad judgment about the entire situation--the drinking, writing about it publicly and my reaction. But what bothers me most now is how close I was to stepping up to do something God really needed me to do at the time--minister to children--and I ran from it. I was not willing to "take my lumps" and ultimately receive what He had for me. Instead, I let Satan have the victory. And it wouldn't be the last time. Shamefully, I admit, I probably still haven't experienced the last time. But God is patient.
Where humans have to grow and be trained in levels of patience, God does not.
God places us in situations that train us. I often fail at first but I think finally, maybe, I'm starting to see that and learn from it. Hey, us old dogs can learn new tricks, it just takes us a bit longer!
And because God is patient, we get to experience everything else God is! Wow! What truth there is in that statement.
As Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 1:12-16, he (Paul) is a demonstration of the patience of God. No one had a greater sin resume than Paul. We all have our own sin resumes and what we need to do is stop looking at others' and look at our own. Alcohol may not be a good thing. Neither is stuffing your face at the church picnic! God looks on ALL sin the same. But that's a topic for another time. The point is, Jeremiah 1:5 tells us that:
How many times has God tried to position you to receive what He has for you and you have rebelled and fought Him? And yet He is STILL patiently waiting and guiding you to your destiny. Some will not hang with you through this change. He always will. God is patient!
I cannot tell you how many different ways this spoke to me. There have been so many times I have felt led to do more for God. I am not sure yet what that "more" is but every time I get close, I get afraid. I am afraid of a lot of things (and that may come as a big shock to some of you) but I think the biggest thing I am afraid of is missing out on something better. That has been the root of so many of my issues over the course of my life. Changing jobs, changing majors, changing schools, changing careers, changing living locations, changing churches and ultimately, changing marital statuses. I guess somewhere deep down, for some reason, I always felt there was something better, something more that was just out of my reach. Many times I didn't realize what the "more" was and the few times I was close to it, I was once again afraid that I would have to give up something better to get it.
Many years ago, my family attended a local baptist church and I got very involved in the children's ministry. When the children's pastor decided to leave and accept a position out of state, my name was immediately put up as a candidate for interim director. But at the time I was desperately trying to live in both worlds because my husband was not saved. I disclosed on my blog at the time about drinking alcohol on occassion. It was read by the wrong person and long story short, instead of doing the biblical thing and coming to talk to me about it, the information was forwarded to my pastor. You may or may not know that many churches but particularly baptist churches take a dim view of alcohol consumption and so I was asked to withdraw my name from consideration. I did but I was so hurt that my family and I left the church.
In hindsight, I realize that I did exercise some bad judgment about the entire situation--the drinking, writing about it publicly and my reaction. But what bothers me most now is how close I was to stepping up to do something God really needed me to do at the time--minister to children--and I ran from it. I was not willing to "take my lumps" and ultimately receive what He had for me. Instead, I let Satan have the victory. And it wouldn't be the last time. Shamefully, I admit, I probably still haven't experienced the last time. But God is patient.
Where humans have to grow and be trained in levels of patience, God does not.
God places us in situations that train us. I often fail at first but I think finally, maybe, I'm starting to see that and learn from it. Hey, us old dogs can learn new tricks, it just takes us a bit longer!
And because God is patient, we get to experience everything else God is! Wow! What truth there is in that statement.
As Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 1:12-16, he (Paul) is a demonstration of the patience of God. No one had a greater sin resume than Paul. We all have our own sin resumes and what we need to do is stop looking at others' and look at our own. Alcohol may not be a good thing. Neither is stuffing your face at the church picnic! God looks on ALL sin the same. But that's a topic for another time. The point is, Jeremiah 1:5 tells us that:
- Christ came to save sinners (which we ALL are)
- While it's a miracle that we are born, it's a bigger miracle that we are born again!
- God will ALWAYS outmove the enemy. While the enemy may have had a very big hand in destroying my marriage, God has another move for me. And I can't wait to see what it is (He's already made some small moves that are better, but I know He has a few more "checks" before the "checkmate" which is when I will finally see Jesus Christ face to face!
- Christ changes us. First He justifies us (Ephesians 1:13) by saving us when we first accept Him as our savior and then He sanctifies us (2 Thess. 1:13) which is the process by which we become more and more like Him every day that we surrender to His will.
- Christ considers US and puts US in services. He uses us for His glory.
Don't let the enemy rob you of your destiny by causing you to downplay your current location! You may have made some mistakes. You may have run from where God tried to put you. I know I have! But guess what? He is way more stubborn than you or I! He will ultimately get His way. We get to choose whether we make it easy on ourselves or hard on ourselves but even if we choose the hard roads, God will still use those and bring us to our destination!
You haven't been cheated; you have been chosen. Maybe had I not made the mistakes I did, my life would have been different. Well, I'm quite certain it would have been. But it wouldn't necessarily have been better. There is nothing better than living for God, no matter how we come to do it.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Welcome to my new blog!
I am so glad you are here! If you are a close, personal friend and had access to my old blog it is still up for now but it'll be taken completely private very soon and will serve only as an archive/storage space and possibly a personal online diary that only I can see.
Also, please bear with me as I am still in the process of piecing this one together with graphics and photos but the goal here is testimony and glorifying the Lord!
You may think that sounds crazy coming from someone like me, especially if you know my past and many shortcomings. But God's Word says when we put our trust in Him and decide to follow Him we are a new creation! And I finally, truly feel like one!
The Lord has really been tugging at my heart for a LONG time over so many things--things that I can't wait to share with you--and I have been holding back with one foot stuck in this world. No more. This world has nothing for me. This life is not my own. Words to a favorite song of mine by Building 429 "We Won't Be Shaken". And indeed it is true. And I am SO excited about the amazing things God is going to bring my way in due time. He has already done SO MUCH for me, especially recently and in just a short amount of time. Every attempt I made (sometimes intentionally, sometimes not) to destroy my own life, God has in one way or another curtailed. He is TRULY wonderful! When He says once we are His, NOTHING can snatch us out of His hand, He means it! I am a living testimony of that very fact. Though I don't pretend to have all the answers, I know the One who does. Though He didn't do things the way I wanted at times, He was still there.
I hope you will go with me on this new journey of mine and it is my sincere prayer that through my experiences you will see the hand of God, know He is real and will want to know Him for yourself if you don't already and if you do, I pray that you will want to know Him better!
So many things I can't wait to share with you! I hope you will stay tuned!
Until then, be blessed!
Michelle
Also, please bear with me as I am still in the process of piecing this one together with graphics and photos but the goal here is testimony and glorifying the Lord!
You may think that sounds crazy coming from someone like me, especially if you know my past and many shortcomings. But God's Word says when we put our trust in Him and decide to follow Him we are a new creation! And I finally, truly feel like one!
The Lord has really been tugging at my heart for a LONG time over so many things--things that I can't wait to share with you--and I have been holding back with one foot stuck in this world. No more. This world has nothing for me. This life is not my own. Words to a favorite song of mine by Building 429 "We Won't Be Shaken". And indeed it is true. And I am SO excited about the amazing things God is going to bring my way in due time. He has already done SO MUCH for me, especially recently and in just a short amount of time. Every attempt I made (sometimes intentionally, sometimes not) to destroy my own life, God has in one way or another curtailed. He is TRULY wonderful! When He says once we are His, NOTHING can snatch us out of His hand, He means it! I am a living testimony of that very fact. Though I don't pretend to have all the answers, I know the One who does. Though He didn't do things the way I wanted at times, He was still there.
I hope you will go with me on this new journey of mine and it is my sincere prayer that through my experiences you will see the hand of God, know He is real and will want to know Him for yourself if you don't already and if you do, I pray that you will want to know Him better!
So many things I can't wait to share with you! I hope you will stay tuned!
Until then, be blessed!
Michelle
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