Dear crushes...
Hmmm, this is difficult because I don't really have a crush that isn't a celebrity. Maybe just one but I don't know that I would call him a crush. I'm just more of an interested party. I've always thought he was cute but I don't think we really have anything much in common. He expressed an interest at a time when I wasn't ready to date and then when I was open to the idea I think he'd lost interest. I see him making a lot of facebook posts about not liking being alone but he never makes contact with me anymore. Perhaps I've put on a bit too much weight. I wouldn't be attracted to me right now either! I'm trying. And that's another letter for another day. But I guess those that say timing is everything are right. Timing in my life isn't always perfect.
Now, I'm back to being completely happy with my life the way it is and for some reason, that tends to make people uncomfortable or even angry. I get told things like, "Oh you'll find someone", "you'll regret being alone one day" or "you'll change your mind when you meet the right person". I may concede the last one but here's the thing: I'm determined NOT to be one of those needy women that HAS to have a man. And in becoming so determined I've actually discovered a truth about myself. I'm completely fine without one. If I don't make my bed, there's no one to complain. If I want cereal for dinner I don't have to worry about whether my husband eats. I don't have to share the remote, the covers or my ice cream! And I don't have time to worry about spending much with anyone else. I just started a new job, I'm trying to get my weight under control (yes, I should probably not have ice cream!), I'm in graduate school for an MBA, my teenage daughter takes a lot of my time and I'm very involved in my church. I also like to make time for hobbies--crochet, reading, painting, spending time with friends and trying new things. I don't have to be accountable with my finances to anyone but God. I love my single life.
Don't get me wrong--I love men. There has been a time or two that I loved a man deeply and at other times, I have loved LOTS of men. And neither situation was good for me.
Since my divorce I have learned more about marriage than I ever did when I was actually married and I have a deeper reverence for it. If I ever do it again, I want to make sure I have the things inside myself that are required to be a good help mate to my husband. Until that time comes, I don't really want to hear about marriage. If you are married, I'm happy for you. Go forth and prosper. But don't try to tell me or other singles that we need to be married. Don't try and make us feel like we are less that a complete person because we feel content and fulfilled as singles.
I do feel that certain churches in their attempts to preserve and support the family have gone so far as to neglect their single members. This is a tragedy. In fact, the Bible even says in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8 that it is better to remain single. Some are given a great gift of marriage but others are given an even greater gift of being single. Paul did not have to worry about the added stresses of marriage and as such, he was an incredible messenger for God, devoting his life to spreading the gospel.
So stop trying to hook me up. I've given God complete control. If He decides to bring another into my life for the purposes of another marriage, then He can flat out deliver the man to my doorstep! And before you tell me to do "my part" let me tell you, my part is to prepare myself by focusing on Him. By dancing with the Lord, He may let the perfect man cut in. But if He chooses to finish the dance Himself, what could be better?
Sincerely,
Daughter of the One True King
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