Surprises

I'm not much for surprises unless they are good surprises. And even then I'd rather know in advance of the surprise so I can make sure I'm dressed appropriately, the house is clean, etc. which pretty much negates it being a surprise. But I'm all about the details to say the least! I used to consider that my strong point. That's debatable these days. And so not the point of this blog. So back up the rabbit trail...

Today I got a surprise I especially did not care for. I was reluctant to share this but I'm going to go ahead since I try to live my life as an open book and a testimony to others (albeit sometimes not necessarily a great example. But I am what I am--a sinner saved by grace!)

I have been back in corporate America for almost two years now. I started out doing some temp assignments as I tried to catch up on the trends and issues I missed during my years as a stay-at-home (somewhat) mom. I also wanted to hone my work habits, sharpen my skills, and just see what direction I wanted to go. I've been working at a long-term assignment for a year now and I like the people and the job is good steady work. I've also been pursuing my MBA and so I decided to test the waters and see what's out there.

I interviewed THREE TIMES for one position that I wasn't particularly excited about. Something just felt "off". I couldn't quite put a finger on it. But the interviews seem to go well and it was a field I am interested in. They made an offer but nothing close to what my experience/skills, etc. warrant and nowhere near what I had asked for.

Of course, I took it to the Lord in prayer and I couldn't really get a confirmation one way or another. My gut was telling me to decline or counter the offer so I decided that's what I would do. While I was trying to figure out the best way to do that, they called and rescinded the offer! The reason they gave was based on things 'they learned while checking references that they were not happy with'.

Talk about surprises--I was floored! What things? And who would say such? The ONLY reference that could have possibly said anything negative and not that he had any reason to but he can be moody from time to time, though I respect him a great deal is the same person that wrote my glowing recommendation for graduate school. So I wouldn't think it would be him. The others weren't contacted at all. So that narrows it down actually to the temporary assignment I had last summer when I was at the lowest point in my life.

For those that don't know the story, I'll make it brief. But I had had an extremely heated argument with my ex, said some things to him that I shouldn't have said and he called the cops to me. I know, kind of an overreaction on his part but nonetheless, the cop and I did not have a nice conversation either and to prove a point, he placed me under arrest. Now, I'm the first to admit--I was wrong in the way I handled the situation. But there shouldn't have been a situation to handle. Nonetheless, I was arrested and spent two nights in jail.

The charges were subsequently dismissed but it was a wake up call for me. I stopped drinking excessively, got back in church, went to counseling, got a new job, completed a LIFE group, started graduate school, have not dated for over a year now and have done nothing but work, go to school, church and take care of my kids. I even have a restored (though not reconciled) relationship with my ex. We are friendly co-advocates for our children. We have even been on vacation together!

I don't know anyone that has ever turned things around so completely and so quickly and yes, I'm quite proud of myself for doing that. But I give God all the glory. I could not have done ANY of it without His divine intervention in many areas and His peace, love, comfort and forgiveness through all of it.

It's my testimony but I have a difficult time sharing it with some people and certainly wouldn't think it appropriate to share in a job interview! Yet, some that were around to see me fall but not around to see me pick myself up feel obligated to share only the negative. What's a woman to do?

Well, in the past, I would have cried, screamed, cursed and put a hit out on a few people for revenge! But not anymore. I accepted it. There will always be people that will be so willing to believe the bad and not even ask for the full story. And the only thing I can do about that is pray for them. There will always be people with so much hate in their hearts that they would sabotage someone trying to improve themselves and their situation. And the only thing I can do about that is pray for them.

There will always be disappointments but really, the ONLY disappointing thing about this is the fact that there are those people out there. I completely trust the Lord in that this was not the job for me. I already knew that. This just confirmed it. While one might think I would've appreciated Him being more subtle about it, haha I do just love how He is always faithful to provide confirmation. And His method was actually perfect, too, because you see, I would have had no other way of finding out that this was happening. And while this came as a big, unwelcome surprise to me, none of it was a surprise to God. He doesn't like surprises anymore than I do and already has everything planned out and taken care of. I love that about Him!

So thank you, God! I know that You have something MUCH better lined up for me and I am so excited to see what it is. I am who You say I am. I can do what You say I can do. I can do all things through You who gives me strength. You prepare a table before me in front of my enemies. You work all things together for my good and NOTHING can separate me from You. I am more than a conqueror and I WILL be victorious. The evil one and his agents have NO POWER over me. Greater is He who is in me than He who is in the world. Ephesians 1:3-8; Romans 8:28; 37-39; Philippians 4:13; 1 Corinthians 15:57, 1 John 4:4; Psalm 23:5