Friday Gripefest

Okay, I'm sitting here with a splitting headache and can't get it to go away. I've taken 4 aleve and 2 advil in the last 15 hours. I've tried to nap. I've drank caffeine (usually helps) and NOTHING is touching this CRAP!!!

So the plans I had to actually DO SOMETHING tonight are out the window as I'm about to take a klonopin and knock myself out!

And I'm super pissed off about that! EVERY time I get a chance to do something fun or just for me, SOMETHING happens. Either I feel icky or I'm broke or whatever!

Actually I'm not too far from broke again and I just got paid so there's another reason for my frustration! I work HARD! I make a decent wage. I don't waste money, in fact I'm VERY frugal...why is it NEVER enough? I don't get it... I'm sick of it! I don't ask for much. I should be able to do something now and then for me or my kids and not have to decide between that and food. Ridiculous.

And yes, I work VERY hard and today was NO EXCEPTION. I had to fly solo today because my partner bought a house and was closing, packing, moving, etc. I am very happy for her and usually when it's just one of us, the kids act better. Ha! Not today...

Two of them talked nonstop from the time they came in and they were still talking when I left! One even talked through nap! And I love that kid, I do! He's super adorable! But man, can the constant chatter really get to me sometimes! lol and the "why" to EVERYTHING!!!

The playground seems to be the worst. It's the worst playground ever to begin with. The ants, bugs and things are awful. The mulch is disgusting, the sandbox a HUGE safety hazard and there's just not that much for them to play on. We've complained a million times, it does no good. I don't know if there's just no money, they just don't care or what the excuse is but it's a big part of the problem because when they have nothing but dangerous things to do, you really have to watch them because telling them NOT to do something is like putting bells and whistles on it--they're gonna go straight to it. And not only that, they don't seem to understand the word no! I'll get to that rant in a minute...but they also like to run and play games like children do but the games they usually play are Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles--lots of chasing and punching!

Enevitably, someone gets hurt or even if they don't, we have one big tattletale in the room that is CONSTANTLY whining and tattling about anything and everything. Nothing works.

For the most part, these children have wonderful parents. They are friendly enough when they come in, it's obvious the kids are well loved and cared for but I really think they've bought into this new age form of parenting WAY too much.

My boss pushes the "love and logic" theory. And that's all fine and good except that a small child's brain isn't developed enough to get "logic" most of the time. It's okay to offer choices whenever possible but for the most part, the experts overwhelmingly agree, what's best for children are limits and boundaries and consequences to actions. I'm not saying they need to be spanked. I don't really take a position on that. In my 30 plus years of childcare and I learned from the best--my mom, I have come to the conclusion that spanking vs. non-spanking isn't really the issue. Consistency is. In other words, if you don't want to spank your child, fine. But don't threaten it. I'm guilty of it sometimes because I have a warped sense of humor and a habit of making a lot of comments in jest "if you dont behave, I'm gonna whip you with a wet noodle!" It usually serves two purposes: it allows me to vent some frustration without harming anyone and the kids think it's funny so it changes their mood/perspective as well. But I've gotten off on a rabbit trail again.

Children NEED limits. They CRAVE boundaries. It makes them feel secure. And yes they are going to test the limits because they desperately need to know they are there and it's not going to change. It gives them security in their little worlds. When parents give in, especially repeatedly for whatever reason (usually too busy or don't want to listen to the whining or fit that is sure to follow),    
it just sets up in a child's mind that they don't have to be accountable for their behavior, their actions don't have consequences, that mommy and daddy will always be able to and willing to bail them out of trouble (huge huge problem because when they do eventually grow up and are out in the real world, the police officer isn't going to care what the excuse is! And if the child doesn't get used to some boundaries early on, it just gets harder as they grow older.  It also sends a message to the child that their parents can't be counted on for security and dependability.

I definitely see some problems with several of the kids in that area. Also have a few who are NEVER made to do ANYTHING for themselves like throw their plate of food in the trash or even pull up their own pants! And NONE of them are made to clean up their play area or know anything about being orderly.

Yes, I realize they are only three. But teachers like myself are finding that we have to do more and more of the life skills teaching that should be done at home and less of the academic, creative and social skills that we are supposed to be teaching and ultimately, they fall behind. Not all, but many. And my heart grieves. These children deserve so much better than what they are currently getting but most of the time we feel powerless to do anything about it because there's always a feeling that we are butting our heads against a wall! We don't get much parental support and when we take a problem to administration it's usually glossed over or pushed aside and there's no where to go because of church politics.  And I know public school is even worse. So I digress...and contemplate...career change?

I tossed around that idea earlier this year but I really do feel in my heart that this is what I am called to do. I have a degree in Business/Finance. It would be difficult transitioning back after so many years but I could always do that. Physical Therapy...I nixed that idea when I couldn't overcome my foot phobia! lol  Childcare Director? I've done it before and it is indeed a headache also but a different kind and at least I would be able to make some decisions and have more influence over the direction the childcare "industry" (for lack of better word) is taking. Not much, but some.

I just don't know what to do and so I continue to ask God. I get nothing. I know He will answer. I just wish He wouldn't take so long sometimes. All I can do right now is speak words of praise and victory over my life and thank God for what He's going to do!