I'm not emotional like most women "get emotional". I take a pill for that.
But the emotions (if they can even be called that) I do get seem backwards or criss-crossed from what other people seem to (or claim to) have.
I care about things I shouldn't. Like making sure I get the last word in a smack-talking argument against an obnoxious, dumbass Auburn fan. And I could seemingly care less about things I SHOULD care about. Like offending a friend or hurting their feelings. I dont think I dont REALLY care but I just dont feel what I think I should most of the time.
I fall easily for men I shouldn't. From one extreme--a drug addicted, abusive psychopath; to a lesser extreme--developing feelings of attachment to friends (some with "benefits") who I know (and sometimes have made it clear) have no interest in having any kind of a relationship with me.
But those that have proven to truly love almost unconditionally--like my ex husband of 21 years or any man that seems to express a genuine interest in me other than sexually--well, I just dont reciprocate.
Even in my work, I lavish love and affection on those children in my care but am far less affectionate with the children in my own family (please note: my own children are teenagers and dont WANT me to love on them all the time, however please know that I did when they were little and still do when I can get away with it!) and with my nephews--I dont see a whole lot of them like I wished I could and when I do, after 40 hours of babies every week, I'm just quite honestly over it. I hate that I feel that way and I DO love them but...it is what it is!
And so I can't help but wonder...am I "emotionally challenged"?
And if so, is there a pill for that?
:)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Kayti's first tailgating trip...
The girls have been wanting to go tailgating with me since last year. Since the divorce it seems like every weekend I go, it's their weekend to go to their dads until finally, the Alabama vs. Arkansas game! And it was day after payday so I knew I would have a little bit of cash to show them a good time. There were only two problems:
1) Brooke had a soccer game and when given the choice to stay behind at her dads so she could play or skip it and go, she opted to stay. That kid really loves soccer! Hopefully, she'll get another chance!
2) Sean & Natasha weren't going. They have the whole set up--tents, fans, grill, tv, etc. Love love love me some Sean & Natasha and hope they're there next time I get to take the girls.
But we had a blast anyway. Christy met up with us and tagged along. We walked all over campus and the surrounding area and I kid you not, it's like being in Heaven. We did run into some demons (obnoxious Arkansas fans! hello, you dont go to someone else's backyard and act like an ass!) but mostly everyone is just down there to have a good time and enjoy themselves. Everyone's in a good mood and very gracious.
We had lunch at Little Italy and then walked to the quad and found a place to set up near some very nice folks.
After the big win, we met Dylan in front of the stadium (little shit has tickets to all home games!) and we went to eat some barbecue for dinner to celebrate the slaughter of the hogs!
Kayti seemed to enjoy the atmosphere and of course, seeing her brother who is having a BLAST and has already gained 5 of the freshman 15! lol
Here are a few pictures:
even my beer gets dressed up for tailgating!
Dylan and Kayti near the altar (Bryant Denny)
Dylan, Kayti & Shari
me and Kayti on the quad
me and Shari on the quad
me, Dylan and Kayti in front of Bryant Denny
me, Shari & Christy on the quad
me and Shari with St. Saban
1) Brooke had a soccer game and when given the choice to stay behind at her dads so she could play or skip it and go, she opted to stay. That kid really loves soccer! Hopefully, she'll get another chance!
2) Sean & Natasha weren't going. They have the whole set up--tents, fans, grill, tv, etc. Love love love me some Sean & Natasha and hope they're there next time I get to take the girls.
But we had a blast anyway. Christy met up with us and tagged along. We walked all over campus and the surrounding area and I kid you not, it's like being in Heaven. We did run into some demons (obnoxious Arkansas fans! hello, you dont go to someone else's backyard and act like an ass!) but mostly everyone is just down there to have a good time and enjoy themselves. Everyone's in a good mood and very gracious.
We had lunch at Little Italy and then walked to the quad and found a place to set up near some very nice folks.
After the big win, we met Dylan in front of the stadium (little shit has tickets to all home games!) and we went to eat some barbecue for dinner to celebrate the slaughter of the hogs!
Kayti seemed to enjoy the atmosphere and of course, seeing her brother who is having a BLAST and has already gained 5 of the freshman 15! lol
Here are a few pictures:
even my beer gets dressed up for tailgating!
Dylan and Kayti near the altar (Bryant Denny)
Dylan, Kayti & Shari
me and Kayti on the quad
me and Shari on the quad
me, Dylan and Kayti in front of Bryant Denny
me, Shari & Christy on the quad
me and Shari with St. Saban
Sunday, September 25, 2011
My weight
Yes I realize I am carrying around a few extra pounds but if you think you can use that against me and my self esteem think again!
I am in FABULOUS shape for a woman my age. No, my body is not perfect. I have carried, delivered naturally and nursed three children. I have had some surgeries--nothing major but they've left scars and distorted parts of my body I'm not eager to show off! But I exercise EVERY day. I watch what I eat and a year and a half ago, I had lost a LOT of weight.
Then I had to have knee surgery (birth defect) and because of the physical therapy I had to endure (followed by my unplanned, yet totally deserved, divorce) I have put some of the weight back on. But I'm working on getting it off through my diet and exercise routine and am planning on some plastic surgery in the near future.
Not that I say this with the intention of putting down ANY of my friends or anyone else, when I look around I see people who are thinner and in better shape than me but I also see A LOT of people who are worse off--to the point of having major health problems. I dont have to take any medications for weight-related health issues, havent had to have any surgeries because of strain on joints or other bones and I can still hold my own on the dance floor, around the track or doing any other strenuous activity with a LOT of women HALF my age.
So I'm PROUD of the way I look and if you dont like it--bite me! I will soon have a body you'll never get to touch ever or again!
.
I am in FABULOUS shape for a woman my age. No, my body is not perfect. I have carried, delivered naturally and nursed three children. I have had some surgeries--nothing major but they've left scars and distorted parts of my body I'm not eager to show off! But I exercise EVERY day. I watch what I eat and a year and a half ago, I had lost a LOT of weight.
Then I had to have knee surgery (birth defect) and because of the physical therapy I had to endure (followed by my unplanned, yet totally deserved, divorce) I have put some of the weight back on. But I'm working on getting it off through my diet and exercise routine and am planning on some plastic surgery in the near future.
Not that I say this with the intention of putting down ANY of my friends or anyone else, when I look around I see people who are thinner and in better shape than me but I also see A LOT of people who are worse off--to the point of having major health problems. I dont have to take any medications for weight-related health issues, havent had to have any surgeries because of strain on joints or other bones and I can still hold my own on the dance floor, around the track or doing any other strenuous activity with a LOT of women HALF my age.
So I'm PROUD of the way I look and if you dont like it--bite me! I will soon have a body you'll never get to touch ever or again!
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Some stuff about me
1. I am not politically correct.
2. But I DO have my own set of values, etc.
3. Such as, after seeing the movie Blood Diamond, I could care less if I ever own another diamond.
4. And I dont care for fur just because I think it's tacky looking.
5. And trying to cut down on eating so much meat just because it's not good for me.
6. But neither is eating NONE at all.
7. I love animals but I'm not a nutso-PETA freak.
8. I love dogs--well, really just my dog, I dont really care about your dog. (except for my bffs)
9. I love my jewelry but it's all cheap.
10. Because when you take care of nine 1 year olds, chances are, something is gonna get ripped off of you.
11. And I'd rather spend my money (or yours) on other stuff.
12. Like going somewhere! Let's travel baby!
13. I've been lots of places already but no way is my bucket list near complete!
14. Yes, I actually have a bucket list.
15. I am not gaga over shoes, purses or shopping in general.
16. I do like to dress well and match everything though.
17. I absolutely HATE professional wrestling!
18. I will watch UFC but there better be some alcohol nearby.
19. Generally there is always alcohol nearby.
20. But no, I'm not an alcoholic, lush or whatever. I dont drink every day and when I do, I handle it well.
21. Except for drunk texting. Im still working on that! lol
22. I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some football!!! Especially Alabama football!! ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!
23. I love tailgating, camping, canoeing, tubing, roadtrips...
24. I'll try anything once.
25. Twice if I liked it the first time!
26. I love babies and old people.
27. As long as they're not driving in front of me--the old people I mean.
28. I love my friends--girls and guys (benefits or not! lol)
29. I dont watch a lot of TV.
30. I love to read--I'm a big nerd that way!
31. I love all kinds of music!
32. I love to laugh--if it's funny, it's funny!
33. I love to exercise and was getting in real good shape until knee surgery, now I gotta start all over again! Ugh!
34. My family is a bunch of nuts but I love them anyway!
35. I'm probably the biggest nut of all of them!
36. I think Celexa should be in the drinking water!
37. I love to paint, pictures, walls anything.
38. I'm very crafty, especially when I have time.
39. I have a very low tolerance for bullshit.
40. I love to write and wish I could devote more time to it.
41. I love to take pictures.
42. I am good in bed. I could do it for hours and hours and hours.
43. Sleep that is! lol
44. Other things, too--or so I've been told...lol
45. I think people should be more accepting and less judgmental.
46. If people are happy and not hurting anybody, why do you care?
47. I love to organize things.
48. I love to dance.
49. I am VERY rpoud of my children.
50. And I love them more than anything else I've mentioned here!
2. But I DO have my own set of values, etc.
3. Such as, after seeing the movie Blood Diamond, I could care less if I ever own another diamond.
4. And I dont care for fur just because I think it's tacky looking.
5. And trying to cut down on eating so much meat just because it's not good for me.
6. But neither is eating NONE at all.
7. I love animals but I'm not a nutso-PETA freak.
8. I love dogs--well, really just my dog, I dont really care about your dog. (except for my bffs)
9. I love my jewelry but it's all cheap.
10. Because when you take care of nine 1 year olds, chances are, something is gonna get ripped off of you.
11. And I'd rather spend my money (or yours) on other stuff.
12. Like going somewhere! Let's travel baby!
13. I've been lots of places already but no way is my bucket list near complete!
14. Yes, I actually have a bucket list.
15. I am not gaga over shoes, purses or shopping in general.
16. I do like to dress well and match everything though.
17. I absolutely HATE professional wrestling!
18. I will watch UFC but there better be some alcohol nearby.
19. Generally there is always alcohol nearby.
20. But no, I'm not an alcoholic, lush or whatever. I dont drink every day and when I do, I handle it well.
21. Except for drunk texting. Im still working on that! lol
22. I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some football!!! Especially Alabama football!! ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!
23. I love tailgating, camping, canoeing, tubing, roadtrips...
24. I'll try anything once.
25. Twice if I liked it the first time!
26. I love babies and old people.
27. As long as they're not driving in front of me--the old people I mean.
28. I love my friends--girls and guys (benefits or not! lol)
29. I dont watch a lot of TV.
30. I love to read--I'm a big nerd that way!
31. I love all kinds of music!
32. I love to laugh--if it's funny, it's funny!
33. I love to exercise and was getting in real good shape until knee surgery, now I gotta start all over again! Ugh!
34. My family is a bunch of nuts but I love them anyway!
35. I'm probably the biggest nut of all of them!
36. I think Celexa should be in the drinking water!
37. I love to paint, pictures, walls anything.
38. I'm very crafty, especially when I have time.
39. I have a very low tolerance for bullshit.
40. I love to write and wish I could devote more time to it.
41. I love to take pictures.
42. I am good in bed. I could do it for hours and hours and hours.
43. Sleep that is! lol
44. Other things, too--or so I've been told...lol
45. I think people should be more accepting and less judgmental.
46. If people are happy and not hurting anybody, why do you care?
47. I love to organize things.
48. I love to dance.
49. I am VERY rpoud of my children.
50. And I love them more than anything else I've mentioned here!
Harry Potter
When the books first started coming out, I tried to jump on the bandwagon and read them...I just couldnt get into it. It's not that I'm in that anti-Harry Potter/witchcraft/it's-not-Christian crap, (if that's your opinion, great, fine whatever, it's just not mine) I'm just not a big fan of sci-fi/fantasy literature or anything like that. Never seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy, not a Narnia fan either. Just not my genre...in fact the only thing remotely like that I've ever been interested is Highlander: The Series and my gosh--look at him!!! Who wouldnt be? lol
When my son started reading the books I tried to be ineteretsed again for him and I survived the first two movies. He had a Harry Potter birthday party when he turned ten and he read every book as soon as it came out.
A few years ago my oldest daughter began reading them when she was bored waiting for the next Twilight book to come out and she liked them, too.
Just this past year, my youngest daughter Brooke discovered them and is ALL into the world of Harry...so much so that she's about driven me crazy talking about it.
Of course, they HAD to see that last movie last week and that is ALL I've heard all weekend...how sad it is the series is ending, mom, we have to go to Universal to Hogwarts, I need a wand, blah blah blah!
I had been secretly GLAD the whole thing is over because I'm so sick of hearing about it and defending my choice to allow my CHRISTIAN children to read the books and watch the movies. But then Brooke posted the other day about how it was something that she, her sister and brother had all shared--their interest in the story...its timelessness and the fact that it was something all three grew up on. That struck a chord in this overly-nostalgic mother's heart! Yet another sign that my babies' childhoods have come /are coming to an end and so is a phase of my own life. They grow up so fast...
So so long, Harry! Thanks for being a part of our family, for creating an interest in reading in my children, for blessing them with hours of entertainment, for enabling me to think about my own convictions and be able to intelligently and genuinely defend them to others. You will be missed...for now. But in my 41 years I've learned that great stories and characters usually find their way into new generations and audiences and I have two nephews, a niece on the way and I'm sure one day, *gasp* grandchildren. I'm almost positive I'll be hearing your name again!
.
When my son started reading the books I tried to be ineteretsed again for him and I survived the first two movies. He had a Harry Potter birthday party when he turned ten and he read every book as soon as it came out.
A few years ago my oldest daughter began reading them when she was bored waiting for the next Twilight book to come out and she liked them, too.
Just this past year, my youngest daughter Brooke discovered them and is ALL into the world of Harry...so much so that she's about driven me crazy talking about it.
Of course, they HAD to see that last movie last week and that is ALL I've heard all weekend...how sad it is the series is ending, mom, we have to go to Universal to Hogwarts, I need a wand, blah blah blah!
I had been secretly GLAD the whole thing is over because I'm so sick of hearing about it and defending my choice to allow my CHRISTIAN children to read the books and watch the movies. But then Brooke posted the other day about how it was something that she, her sister and brother had all shared--their interest in the story...its timelessness and the fact that it was something all three grew up on. That struck a chord in this overly-nostalgic mother's heart! Yet another sign that my babies' childhoods have come /are coming to an end and so is a phase of my own life. They grow up so fast...
So so long, Harry! Thanks for being a part of our family, for creating an interest in reading in my children, for blessing them with hours of entertainment, for enabling me to think about my own convictions and be able to intelligently and genuinely defend them to others. You will be missed...for now. But in my 41 years I've learned that great stories and characters usually find their way into new generations and audiences and I have two nephews, a niece on the way and I'm sure one day, *gasp* grandchildren. I'm almost positive I'll be hearing your name again!
.
Status Shuffles
Had to clean out my "favorites" box of Status Shuffles. It was getting way too long. But I love this app! Love that someone else has had the same thoughts (even though sometimes twisted! lol) as me at one time or another.And so many of them are just downright hillarious! Hope you enjoy!
Funny as hell:
*There is a thin line between sanity and insanity...and I just snorted it.
*You have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants
*youre checking out my page again..... you must think im sexy!
*It's not complicated. You're just stupid.
*F*ck karma, I'm the bitch you gotta worry about!
*is feeling off today, anyone want to turn me on?
*sweet as heaven, hot as hell, born to tease, taught to please
*I need a Do Not Enter sign for my bubble
*I still think it's hilarious you chose your fat, ugly wife over me...lol yeah good luck with that!
True as hell:
*Like me, love me, or hate me--either way, you have to wake up each morning knowing you have feelings for me!
*If you dont have time for your kids when they are grwoing up, don't expect them to have time for you when they are GROWN up!
*will never understand how someone can say they love someone and have no regard for that persons feelings or the damage their actions cause
*There is a feeling I dont know how to describe, I just know it's there.
*Love me or hate me, either way it aint gonna break me
Funny & True:
*I don't just think that marijuana should be legalized, for some people it should be mandatory.
*Ignorance is only bliss for the ignorant, for the rest of us it's painfully irritating.
*is one idiot away from being a CSI suspect...you have been warned.
*I do not agree with your opinion, however I do admire your persistent dedication to your wrongness.
*if you have a problem with the way I live my life,its o.k.! At least I have a life.All you have is a problem
Some I made up:
*Sometimes you find friends in the most unexpected places
*I am a strong, independent woman. I wont bend and I sure as HELL wont break!
*The "hormones" excuse women give for not wanting sex is bullshit! Guys, trust me, it's YOU. You ain't doing something right, either in bed or out of it!
* Look, I just want to do my best at my job, raising my kids, having a good time. I do not want drama. Act like the adult you're supposed to be and leave me alone
*There are only two things I need in my life right now--friendship and sex. If you're looking for more than that, move on please.
*Nice try, Mom but you're NOT making me cry! & to answer your question...as long as he doesn't stick it in my ear or up my nose, there's NOTHING to argue about!
*Nobody can be anybody's everything.
*I don't forget because I'm smart, not stupid but I also forgive because I'm strong, not weak.
*Lying is bad enough but when you have no reason to lie and you do it...that's really pathetic.
*I'm either your friend or your enemy...you decide.
Sex & the City Quotes:
"Women are for friendships--men are for screwing!"~~Samantha
“Maybe you’re only alloted a certain amount of tears per man; and I’ve used mine up.” ~~Carrie
“No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.”~~Carrie
"I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty." ~~Carrie
"I'd love to be friends with an ex bf. But I can't help it, I feel more like, 'Okay it didnt work out between us, you need to not exist'"~~Miranda
and the truest of all and not so very funny...
*I am attracted to those which I cannot have, and I am chased by those which I do not want
Funny as hell:
*There is a thin line between sanity and insanity...and I just snorted it.
*You have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants
*youre checking out my page again..... you must think im sexy!
*It's not complicated. You're just stupid.
*F*ck karma, I'm the bitch you gotta worry about!
*is feeling off today, anyone want to turn me on?
*sweet as heaven, hot as hell, born to tease, taught to please
*I need a Do Not Enter sign for my bubble
*I still think it's hilarious you chose your fat, ugly wife over me...lol yeah good luck with that!
True as hell:
*Like me, love me, or hate me--either way, you have to wake up each morning knowing you have feelings for me!
*If you dont have time for your kids when they are grwoing up, don't expect them to have time for you when they are GROWN up!
*will never understand how someone can say they love someone and have no regard for that persons feelings or the damage their actions cause
*There is a feeling I dont know how to describe, I just know it's there.
*Love me or hate me, either way it aint gonna break me
Funny & True:
*I don't just think that marijuana should be legalized, for some people it should be mandatory.
*Ignorance is only bliss for the ignorant, for the rest of us it's painfully irritating.
*is one idiot away from being a CSI suspect...you have been warned.
*I do not agree with your opinion, however I do admire your persistent dedication to your wrongness.
*if you have a problem with the way I live my life,its o.k.! At least I have a life.All you have is a problem
Some I made up:
*Sometimes you find friends in the most unexpected places
*I am a strong, independent woman. I wont bend and I sure as HELL wont break!
*The "hormones" excuse women give for not wanting sex is bullshit! Guys, trust me, it's YOU. You ain't doing something right, either in bed or out of it!
* Look, I just want to do my best at my job, raising my kids, having a good time. I do not want drama. Act like the adult you're supposed to be and leave me alone
*There are only two things I need in my life right now--friendship and sex. If you're looking for more than that, move on please.
*Nice try, Mom but you're NOT making me cry! & to answer your question...as long as he doesn't stick it in my ear or up my nose, there's NOTHING to argue about!
*Nobody can be anybody's everything.
*I don't forget because I'm smart, not stupid but I also forgive because I'm strong, not weak.
*Lying is bad enough but when you have no reason to lie and you do it...that's really pathetic.
*I'm either your friend or your enemy...you decide.
Sex & the City Quotes:
"Women are for friendships--men are for screwing!"~~Samantha
“Maybe you’re only alloted a certain amount of tears per man; and I’ve used mine up.” ~~Carrie
“No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.”~~Carrie
"I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty." ~~Carrie
"I'd love to be friends with an ex bf. But I can't help it, I feel more like, 'Okay it didnt work out between us, you need to not exist'"~~Miranda
and the truest of all and not so very funny...
*I am attracted to those which I cannot have, and I am chased by those which I do not want
Bill Gates to High School students on the real world:
Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss
Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.
Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were: So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room..
Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMESas you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. *Do that on your own time.
Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one..
If you can read this... Thank a Teacher. If you can read this in English... Thank a Soldier! And for life and everything else you have... Thank God!!
.
Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss
Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.
Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were: So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room..
Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMESas you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. *Do that on your own time.
Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one..
If you can read this... Thank a Teacher. If you can read this in English... Thank a Soldier! And for life and everything else you have... Thank God!!
.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Great weekend!!
I love EVERY day of my wonderful life but I really love my weekends! Whether I have my girls or not, I just really enjoy the time I get to call the shots about what I will and will not do!
Friday started out with me taking half the day off and taking Kayti to her Algebra class. I waited for her to get out, she skipped driver's ed and I took her to get her permit. Long story shorter, I wound up having to take her to Oneonta to take the test so it took up most of our day. She passed, of course and so I now have the joy of teaching ANOTHER teenager how to drive a loaded weapon! Yea me! lol
No, she's a good girl and I'm proud and excited for her. I plan on getting her a car with my income tax return. Of course that is all pending on me buying a car for myself at the end of this month and us getting a place of our end before the end of the year.
We finally decided on where--we are moving back to Clay. The girls both decided they want to go back to public school but if they go back to public they want to go to Clay where they already have friends. Brooke is fascinated by the danceline and the idea of playing school soccer. She is the kind of kid that will thrive whatever she does--public school or homeschool. And I had a blast in high school so I dont mind her having the same positive experiences I did. Kayti is more like her brother and Jeff. They could have cared LESS about high school except for getting out! And I was prepared to let Kayti continue homeschooling but she said if Brooke went back she wanted to also. That's fine. I know it isnt going to be easy finding a place in Clay that's gonna fit in my budget but I figured as long as I keep working in Trussville and the girls and their activies are primarily concentrated in Clay, I will save a LOT of gas. And of course, I will save on CORE tuition. I dont want or need anything fancy. Would love to find a townhouse for rent that allows pets. Three bedroom two bath would be perfect. The girls could each have their own room, we would have enough space to spread out a little bit and just enough yard space for Madylan Penelope to run around and no so much grass for me to cut! Be in prayer for us find just such a place within my budget.
After she got her permit, I had to bust ass to get to work. I had found a sub for the first part of the day but no one could do the 3-6 so I had to go in. I didnt mind, it was just a rush and I felt like a chicken with my head cut off! But when I walked in the door of my classroom, little Demi came running up to me! Those babies have my heart! Especially Vivi, Demi, Bryant and Reid. I know I'm not supposed to have favorites and I promise you I love on and am good to all of them. But those four are so much fun even if they aren't the best behaved! I love their feisty little spirits! I love my job!
When I got off, I rushed home and Jeff had already picked up the girls for his weekend visitation. I got ready and Shari and I went to meet Angela, Toni, Stacy, and Aldona for dinner and then we all went to the ER. I was bored at first but it livened up finally when people started getting there. I saw a lot of old familiar faces and omg, have we all gotten old and fat! lol I wound up staying till the place closed down and then Tammy, Mike, Angela S. and I went to the Waffle House.
Saturday I vegged most of the day until time to watch my Tide and then I headed over to Tammy's house. She had a housefull as usual and I saw some more old familiar faces and of course, had a good time.
Sunday--a day Shari and I usually veg out around the house we decided to get out. We went to Homewood to the spice store and then to Trussville. We looked around Cato's the Dollar Jewelry store and TJ Maxx and then met Steven for lunch at Hooters. We watched the Packers kick the Panthers asses and then came home. I spent some time with another very special friend and now it's time to start the week all over again!
But as I reflect on the weekend I realize how blessed I am to have such loving friends in my life. I also accomplished three major things:
1) I didnt "drunk text" anyone Saturday night!
2) I got a booty call at 11:30 p.m and I was strong enough to turn it down! I like the guy but he's YOUNG! And apparently has a LOT of growing up to do! I dont mind not being anyone's "significant other", I'm enjoying my singleness for now, but I will NOT be disrespected by anyone!
3) I had a chance to get back at Craig--major opportunity to fuck up his whole world but I declned. I proved to myself I really am over it--I dont care anymore. I was even tested on this further when he made ugly comments about the picture I'm about to post but I did not respond. God is going to handle him. God already HAS handled him.
Me and Judy Brown Cannell at Tammy's Saturday night:
I'm on top of the world right now but I know I still have a long way to go. Just praying I can stay positive while I keep climbing!
Friday started out with me taking half the day off and taking Kayti to her Algebra class. I waited for her to get out, she skipped driver's ed and I took her to get her permit. Long story shorter, I wound up having to take her to Oneonta to take the test so it took up most of our day. She passed, of course and so I now have the joy of teaching ANOTHER teenager how to drive a loaded weapon! Yea me! lol
No, she's a good girl and I'm proud and excited for her. I plan on getting her a car with my income tax return. Of course that is all pending on me buying a car for myself at the end of this month and us getting a place of our end before the end of the year.
We finally decided on where--we are moving back to Clay. The girls both decided they want to go back to public school but if they go back to public they want to go to Clay where they already have friends. Brooke is fascinated by the danceline and the idea of playing school soccer. She is the kind of kid that will thrive whatever she does--public school or homeschool. And I had a blast in high school so I dont mind her having the same positive experiences I did. Kayti is more like her brother and Jeff. They could have cared LESS about high school except for getting out! And I was prepared to let Kayti continue homeschooling but she said if Brooke went back she wanted to also. That's fine. I know it isnt going to be easy finding a place in Clay that's gonna fit in my budget but I figured as long as I keep working in Trussville and the girls and their activies are primarily concentrated in Clay, I will save a LOT of gas. And of course, I will save on CORE tuition. I dont want or need anything fancy. Would love to find a townhouse for rent that allows pets. Three bedroom two bath would be perfect. The girls could each have their own room, we would have enough space to spread out a little bit and just enough yard space for Madylan Penelope to run around and no so much grass for me to cut! Be in prayer for us find just such a place within my budget.
After she got her permit, I had to bust ass to get to work. I had found a sub for the first part of the day but no one could do the 3-6 so I had to go in. I didnt mind, it was just a rush and I felt like a chicken with my head cut off! But when I walked in the door of my classroom, little Demi came running up to me! Those babies have my heart! Especially Vivi, Demi, Bryant and Reid. I know I'm not supposed to have favorites and I promise you I love on and am good to all of them. But those four are so much fun even if they aren't the best behaved! I love their feisty little spirits! I love my job!
When I got off, I rushed home and Jeff had already picked up the girls for his weekend visitation. I got ready and Shari and I went to meet Angela, Toni, Stacy, and Aldona for dinner and then we all went to the ER. I was bored at first but it livened up finally when people started getting there. I saw a lot of old familiar faces and omg, have we all gotten old and fat! lol I wound up staying till the place closed down and then Tammy, Mike, Angela S. and I went to the Waffle House.
Saturday I vegged most of the day until time to watch my Tide and then I headed over to Tammy's house. She had a housefull as usual and I saw some more old familiar faces and of course, had a good time.
Sunday--a day Shari and I usually veg out around the house we decided to get out. We went to Homewood to the spice store and then to Trussville. We looked around Cato's the Dollar Jewelry store and TJ Maxx and then met Steven for lunch at Hooters. We watched the Packers kick the Panthers asses and then came home. I spent some time with another very special friend and now it's time to start the week all over again!
But as I reflect on the weekend I realize how blessed I am to have such loving friends in my life. I also accomplished three major things:
1) I didnt "drunk text" anyone Saturday night!
2) I got a booty call at 11:30 p.m and I was strong enough to turn it down! I like the guy but he's YOUNG! And apparently has a LOT of growing up to do! I dont mind not being anyone's "significant other", I'm enjoying my singleness for now, but I will NOT be disrespected by anyone!
3) I had a chance to get back at Craig--major opportunity to fuck up his whole world but I declned. I proved to myself I really am over it--I dont care anymore. I was even tested on this further when he made ugly comments about the picture I'm about to post but I did not respond. God is going to handle him. God already HAS handled him.
Me and Judy Brown Cannell at Tammy's Saturday night:
I'm on top of the world right now but I know I still have a long way to go. Just praying I can stay positive while I keep climbing!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Weekly news
Trying not to wait so long in between posts. The memory is not so good these days (the short-term memory anyway) and then I forget to share stuff!
Of course when I try and post more often, it seems there's not so much going on.
Loving my new job still. But my schedule is crazy! One of my sweet co-workers agreed to swap shifts with me on Monday and Thursday so I could take Brooke to soccer practice since the ex, who gets off at 4:30 and could do it has turned out to be useless. And no, I'm not trying to bad-mouth him but the truth is the truth. I never thought I'd see the day when he would act like he's been acting. He cares more about working overtime that he doesnt have to work than taking care of his kids. So I guess this mama has to give up REGULAR hours sometimes to take care of business! I think he's turned everything into a competition. He's trying to rack up money so he can accomplish more sooner than I can or something so he can say "haha". Whatever. If it's a competition, I've already won because his daughters are quickly losing respect for him and believe it or not, I have NOT said a word! But they are old enough to see what's going on and realize where they fall on his priority list.
Any time I've even asked him to do anything for them he acts like it's doing a favor to ME! It blows my mind that after being married for 21 years and him seeing what all I went through with my own dad that he would treat his kids like he has been. But that's okay. My mama raised a hell of a strong woman. I will do what I gotta do and I'm raising my girls the same way!
I am officially registered for Race for the Cure and have been training! I'm really excited but frustrated at the same time. I want to run SO BAD but so afraid my doc is right so I'm trying to walk it in under 45 minutes and it's hard!
Bama played away at Penn State so no tailgating this time. Instead went to a party at Tammy's house and had a BLAST! Love me some Tammy.
I had sort of being seeing someone but it wasnt serious. More like a friends with benefits thing even though I do really like him. But I met someone else and I think I'm gonng give that a chance. I'm scared shitless about getting into a relationship again. Trying to go VERY slow. But he is a sweetheart and treats me like a queen and not just an afterthought. It's been on my mind a lot lately about how it would work out. He has two boys in one school and my two girls are in another (and maybe about to go to yet another). I've no desire to move where he is and dont think his kids would want to move this way either but as I was contemplating all this I realized I was getting ahead of myself. God told me you can go slow and fast at the same time--you'll destroy your transmission. He said to just take it day by day and if this is His plan for me, He will work out all the details. That's a hard thing for my anal-retentive OCD self to do. I got to PLAN!!! Even if the plans dont work out I gotta at least have one! But I'm trying to take His advice. He's already met the kids. He came over Sunday to fix my car and they were here. It was tense and he said he could feel that. I'd tried to tell him they aren't ready to see mama with someone else yet that's why I'd tried to keep my dating/personal life separate. Yes, I come as a package deal but until I'm sure I want someone in MY life, I dont like to introduce people into THEIR life.
Anyway, just taking EVERYTHING one day at a time has been a totally new experience for me. But so far it seems to be working!
Have a great week and be blessed!
Of course when I try and post more often, it seems there's not so much going on.
Loving my new job still. But my schedule is crazy! One of my sweet co-workers agreed to swap shifts with me on Monday and Thursday so I could take Brooke to soccer practice since the ex, who gets off at 4:30 and could do it has turned out to be useless. And no, I'm not trying to bad-mouth him but the truth is the truth. I never thought I'd see the day when he would act like he's been acting. He cares more about working overtime that he doesnt have to work than taking care of his kids. So I guess this mama has to give up REGULAR hours sometimes to take care of business! I think he's turned everything into a competition. He's trying to rack up money so he can accomplish more sooner than I can or something so he can say "haha". Whatever. If it's a competition, I've already won because his daughters are quickly losing respect for him and believe it or not, I have NOT said a word! But they are old enough to see what's going on and realize where they fall on his priority list.
Any time I've even asked him to do anything for them he acts like it's doing a favor to ME! It blows my mind that after being married for 21 years and him seeing what all I went through with my own dad that he would treat his kids like he has been. But that's okay. My mama raised a hell of a strong woman. I will do what I gotta do and I'm raising my girls the same way!
I am officially registered for Race for the Cure and have been training! I'm really excited but frustrated at the same time. I want to run SO BAD but so afraid my doc is right so I'm trying to walk it in under 45 minutes and it's hard!
Bama played away at Penn State so no tailgating this time. Instead went to a party at Tammy's house and had a BLAST! Love me some Tammy.
I had sort of being seeing someone but it wasnt serious. More like a friends with benefits thing even though I do really like him. But I met someone else and I think I'm gonng give that a chance. I'm scared shitless about getting into a relationship again. Trying to go VERY slow. But he is a sweetheart and treats me like a queen and not just an afterthought. It's been on my mind a lot lately about how it would work out. He has two boys in one school and my two girls are in another (and maybe about to go to yet another). I've no desire to move where he is and dont think his kids would want to move this way either but as I was contemplating all this I realized I was getting ahead of myself. God told me you can go slow and fast at the same time--you'll destroy your transmission. He said to just take it day by day and if this is His plan for me, He will work out all the details. That's a hard thing for my anal-retentive OCD self to do. I got to PLAN!!! Even if the plans dont work out I gotta at least have one! But I'm trying to take His advice. He's already met the kids. He came over Sunday to fix my car and they were here. It was tense and he said he could feel that. I'd tried to tell him they aren't ready to see mama with someone else yet that's why I'd tried to keep my dating/personal life separate. Yes, I come as a package deal but until I'm sure I want someone in MY life, I dont like to introduce people into THEIR life.
Anyway, just taking EVERYTHING one day at a time has been a totally new experience for me. But so far it seems to be working!
Have a great week and be blessed!
Monday, September 5, 2011
So much news to report...
I finished up my work at Clayridge. They wouldn't offer me full-time so I turned in notice. I hated to leave that bunch of kids but they didnt much act like they cared whether I stayed or went so I went. Turns out it was in my best interest. For the next few weeks after that, I made FINDING a job my new job. You guys know how anal I am about some things--I kept a binder and recorded all the ads I answered, leads I got and cold calls. It turned out that a cold call was the ticket! You just never know how God can work things out!
I sent letters of inquiry to approximately ten daycare centers along with my glowing resume on what a wonderful teacher I am (haha) and I got a call! The director and I hit it off and I was offered a job the same day. I was blown away by the pay--VERY high for a daycare--almost what I was making at the bank when I left years ago. Plus benefits!
I work in the 1 year old room with two other girls that I love--we get along great--and nine adorable little ones! I didn't much think I would like working with that age. They bite, they cant talk much to tell you what's wrong and oh yeah--diapers! But I have fallen in love with them just like I always do and I'm finding out I'd much rather change a diaper than listen to attitude! Never had much attitude with the 3's & 4's (still my faves) but those 5's & 6's I had last year--O...M...G!!! I also didnt think I'd care much for the hours (10-6) but I'm getting used to it. Plus one of my sweet co-workers offered to swap with me on Mondays and Thursdays so I can take Brooke to soccer since the ex was being useless so...it's all working out great!
I should get a full paycheck this Friday, catch a few things up and then be able to get a car by the end of the month (prayers please) then I can work on me and the girls getting out on our own (more prayers please).
The ex...we've had rounds 2500 and 2501 lately. Most of the time we get along but his attitude sometimes really sux. He acts like his child support is supposed to cover EVERYTHING the girls need. I can't believe as long as we were married and he knows the price of things that he has that attitude. I believe it's being fed by something or someone...never thought we'd have THESE kinds of fights. Also considers anything he does for his kids a favor to ME. That's one reason I'm in a hurry to move out on my own. To show him I dont need any help from him at all. But I think what it boils down to as long as I was with the psycho, didnt have a job, let alone a car or a place of my own, etc. he could tell himself that he was doing better than me. Now that things are falling into place for me and I am moving on with my life and not wallowing in regret for the mistakes I made, it bugs him a little. But he finally did get himself another car so maybe he can start getting out and be a little happier.
Moving out on my own...can't decide where to move to. Wanted to move to Ashley Manor in Moody so the girls would be close to their school and it was a place I could actually afford. But they dont allow pets and no way I'm getting rid of my little baby! Even though she DOES make me mad sometimes! She hogs more of the bed than any man I've ever shared a bed with! She's done well housetraining but sometimes she thinks her outdoor trips are for her to socialize and smell every blade of grass, rock and stick instead of to do what she's supposed to do. And when she and Bama go out together they LOVE crossing me up! But she's the sweetest thing and has been a huge comfort to me through all my ordeals. No way is she going anywhere.
Right now, I'm debating on trying to rent a house in Tarrant to stay close to my mom and Shari, an apartment in Trussville or back to Clay. We went to the Claws v. Paws the other night and I think Brooke may want to go back to public school. If she does decide to, she will not go to Tarrant or anywhere else. Clay would be the best choice for us. I'm not opposed to Springville but I dont want to move that far out again and she already has friends in Clay so the transition would be smooth.
We moved Dylan into the dorms at Alabama August 20. It was a LONG, chaotic, hard day but I managed NOT to cry too much and he seems to be really enjoying his classes, his roommates and campus life. I am SO proud and excited for him!
I've resumed my workouts and am making some progress. I'm planning to do Race for the Cure this year and my goal is to finish in under 45 minutes which will be tough since I'm not allowed to run! I still want to get a second opinion on that! But it'll have to wait till insurance kicks in.
I started a part-time job as a Blackjack dealer for a private company that provides gaming for private parties and charity events. I LOVE it. I hope to get called out on more gigs soon!
And my writing is going well. Just wish I had a better laptop!
I've put off relationships and dating for now. I dont really have time. I'll go out or do something if asked but I'm not worried about it so much. Yes, I do get lonely sometimes and I do have...um...needs but they have to be a few notches down on the priority list for now. Not getting back on plentyoffish.com anytime soon! Right now I'm just enjoying my friends and doing my own thing.
Got to tailgate for 'bama's season opener and had a BLAST!!! Met a niece of Shari's, her fiance and their friends down near the quad and we had the BEST time! Can't wait to go again! I love being in the promised land on gameday--especially when we win! ROLL TIDE!!!
I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to be excited about. I'm very blessed and I know it!
I sent letters of inquiry to approximately ten daycare centers along with my glowing resume on what a wonderful teacher I am (haha) and I got a call! The director and I hit it off and I was offered a job the same day. I was blown away by the pay--VERY high for a daycare--almost what I was making at the bank when I left years ago. Plus benefits!
I work in the 1 year old room with two other girls that I love--we get along great--and nine adorable little ones! I didn't much think I would like working with that age. They bite, they cant talk much to tell you what's wrong and oh yeah--diapers! But I have fallen in love with them just like I always do and I'm finding out I'd much rather change a diaper than listen to attitude! Never had much attitude with the 3's & 4's (still my faves) but those 5's & 6's I had last year--O...M...G!!! I also didnt think I'd care much for the hours (10-6) but I'm getting used to it. Plus one of my sweet co-workers offered to swap with me on Mondays and Thursdays so I can take Brooke to soccer since the ex was being useless so...it's all working out great!
I should get a full paycheck this Friday, catch a few things up and then be able to get a car by the end of the month (prayers please) then I can work on me and the girls getting out on our own (more prayers please).
The ex...we've had rounds 2500 and 2501 lately. Most of the time we get along but his attitude sometimes really sux. He acts like his child support is supposed to cover EVERYTHING the girls need. I can't believe as long as we were married and he knows the price of things that he has that attitude. I believe it's being fed by something or someone...never thought we'd have THESE kinds of fights. Also considers anything he does for his kids a favor to ME. That's one reason I'm in a hurry to move out on my own. To show him I dont need any help from him at all. But I think what it boils down to as long as I was with the psycho, didnt have a job, let alone a car or a place of my own, etc. he could tell himself that he was doing better than me. Now that things are falling into place for me and I am moving on with my life and not wallowing in regret for the mistakes I made, it bugs him a little. But he finally did get himself another car so maybe he can start getting out and be a little happier.
Moving out on my own...can't decide where to move to. Wanted to move to Ashley Manor in Moody so the girls would be close to their school and it was a place I could actually afford. But they dont allow pets and no way I'm getting rid of my little baby! Even though she DOES make me mad sometimes! She hogs more of the bed than any man I've ever shared a bed with! She's done well housetraining but sometimes she thinks her outdoor trips are for her to socialize and smell every blade of grass, rock and stick instead of to do what she's supposed to do. And when she and Bama go out together they LOVE crossing me up! But she's the sweetest thing and has been a huge comfort to me through all my ordeals. No way is she going anywhere.
Right now, I'm debating on trying to rent a house in Tarrant to stay close to my mom and Shari, an apartment in Trussville or back to Clay. We went to the Claws v. Paws the other night and I think Brooke may want to go back to public school. If she does decide to, she will not go to Tarrant or anywhere else. Clay would be the best choice for us. I'm not opposed to Springville but I dont want to move that far out again and she already has friends in Clay so the transition would be smooth.
We moved Dylan into the dorms at Alabama August 20. It was a LONG, chaotic, hard day but I managed NOT to cry too much and he seems to be really enjoying his classes, his roommates and campus life. I am SO proud and excited for him!
I've resumed my workouts and am making some progress. I'm planning to do Race for the Cure this year and my goal is to finish in under 45 minutes which will be tough since I'm not allowed to run! I still want to get a second opinion on that! But it'll have to wait till insurance kicks in.
I started a part-time job as a Blackjack dealer for a private company that provides gaming for private parties and charity events. I LOVE it. I hope to get called out on more gigs soon!
And my writing is going well. Just wish I had a better laptop!
I've put off relationships and dating for now. I dont really have time. I'll go out or do something if asked but I'm not worried about it so much. Yes, I do get lonely sometimes and I do have...um...needs but they have to be a few notches down on the priority list for now. Not getting back on plentyoffish.com anytime soon! Right now I'm just enjoying my friends and doing my own thing.
Got to tailgate for 'bama's season opener and had a BLAST!!! Met a niece of Shari's, her fiance and their friends down near the quad and we had the BEST time! Can't wait to go again! I love being in the promised land on gameday--especially when we win! ROLL TIDE!!!
I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to be excited about. I'm very blessed and I know it!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Yeah, I'm really behind!
So now I'm divorced. The girls and I are living with shari in Tarrant. Jeff moved in with his parents and Dylan is at Alabama.
Long story short (details in my journal or other blog), I cheated on Jeff with Craig Nix. It is without a doubt the absolute DUMBEST thing I have EVER done. Our relationship quickly turned abusive and I was able to get away. He's mentally ill and I still sometimes can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for his lies. And yet a part of me still cares deeply for him for some DUMBASS reason.
I'll try to do better at journaling here...
Long story short (details in my journal or other blog), I cheated on Jeff with Craig Nix. It is without a doubt the absolute DUMBEST thing I have EVER done. Our relationship quickly turned abusive and I was able to get away. He's mentally ill and I still sometimes can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for his lies. And yet a part of me still cares deeply for him for some DUMBASS reason.
I'll try to do better at journaling here...
Agh! Irritated! (mental/physical)
I overslept and am therefore missing my morning trip to the Y. I know I'll get to walk later while Brooke is at Soccer but I'm debating going back this evening after we get home to do weights. Hate to drive all the way back to Trussvegas but also hate to skip a day of weights!
At the same time I'm glad because I needed to get a few other things done but then bummed again because I could sleep a few more hours! And there is no caffeine in this house!
I made a decision last night that probably cost me a friend but I know it's for my own good as well as the friend's. I guess I was feeling convicted. But I've been through it before and thought I could handle things this time but I dont think I can. Not right now anyway. And I'm not sure I'm cut out for it ever. It's not that I wanted more, I just need to protect my sanity and emotional stability right now. My girls need me and I have too much to be focused on to worry about any romantic/sexual/whatever hassles. I know it was supposed to be simple...but somehow these things never are. Not for me. And I'm all about owning who I am and not pretending to be anything I'm not.
At the same time I'm glad because I needed to get a few other things done but then bummed again because I could sleep a few more hours! And there is no caffeine in this house!
I made a decision last night that probably cost me a friend but I know it's for my own good as well as the friend's. I guess I was feeling convicted. But I've been through it before and thought I could handle things this time but I dont think I can. Not right now anyway. And I'm not sure I'm cut out for it ever. It's not that I wanted more, I just need to protect my sanity and emotional stability right now. My girls need me and I have too much to be focused on to worry about any romantic/sexual/whatever hassles. I know it was supposed to be simple...but somehow these things never are. Not for me. And I'm all about owning who I am and not pretending to be anything I'm not.
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