Finally got knocked on my...

well, you know what it's called! LOL



And no, I don't mean by someONE--that really would be a news flash! But as most of you that hang out with me know, I have a really high tolerance level for drugs and alcohol. And I don't mean that I'm a drughead or an alkie but I take after my mom in that things just don't affect me the way they do most people. I have to take FOUR Advils to get rid of a headache and sometimes that's not even enough.



Back in the days when I would drink a lot, I could drink my dad (who is a rather big man) under the table. And I've always been able to walk away from it all (for years at a time) whenever I felt like I wanted to or needed to. So when you hear me talk about having a glass of wine or a margarita, please know, it's probably like water for you!



Same is true for pain meds when I have surgeries. First of all, I cannot take Lortab at all--they do nothing to touch the pain, make me nauseous and make me ITCH to death! Actually most narcotic "pain" medication makes me itch. Maybe it's the codeine? But whenever I get put on something, I also have to take a benadryl to avoid scratching my skin off!



Yesterday, around lunchtime I took my two prescribed percocets along with my benadryl and went to physical therapy. I had a GREAT session--everything felt great and I was really encouraged by my progress that seems so much quicker this time.



So I get home, it's around six thirty (more than enough time for me to have more med), I have some dinner, my two percocets with my benadryl but also because it's almost time for bed and at bedtime I take three prozac, a requip and half an atavan (which I actually left off last night, PTL!) I took my "nighttime cocktail" too.



Within an hour, I was flat on my back! LOL Whoa! First time that's EVER happened to me! Guess I better make more time between the nightime feeding and the bedtime cocktail next time! LOL



But I'm up and at 'em this morning...feeling good, drinking my coffee and wondering what I'm gonna do today...and tonight! Happy New Year!

Christmas Pictures

We had a wonderful Christmas and I hope you all did as well. I am so very blessed! I got a decal for my new (whenever I get it) car that says A-mom (A being for Alabama of course!) and a pink coffee mug. Got a coffee maker for my classroom, a silver dress watch, a sportswatch that records calories burned, heartrate, miles walked/ran, etc., new kitchen knives, some Bath & Body Works stuff and Jeff and I loaded up on camping/tailgating supplies! Got a tent, table, grill, air mattress...can't wait to try it all out!

The kids got pretty much what they asked for and I am grateful not to have spoiled kids that ask for things they can't possibly use or need and know what Christmas is really all about. Takes the stress off the holiday!

We all enjoyed watching Cooper unwrap his presents and dance around with all the electronic lights and noises that came with just about every one of his toys! Dylan finally finished the toybox he'd been working on for him for months and it is beautiful! He put a lot of time, money and effort into it and it shows.

Here are some pictures...

Christmas morning





My cousin Annette and son, Zac



Me and Kayti



me and Dylan



our little man



Kayti and Tabitha



The Henderson's



Dylan and my bff Shari's son, Taylor



my dad, Randy and Jeff



The toybox...









Noisy toys




A few days before Chistmas, I hosted dinner for my bff's. They all came except for Christy--she was sick, it was her birthday and she had to finish up her Christmas shopping. We missed you, Christy!!! But we had a GREAT time. Jeff was good enough to take the kids over to my sister's house so we would have the (small) house to ourselves! I made my famous lasagna and we ate, drank and were merry! Very merry!







That's Shari, Kim & Donna! I could not have made it through this year without all of them (and Christy, too!)

Today, I'm meeting Christy for lunch out in her neck of the woods. Can't wait to see her, it's been a few weeks at least, if not a month! Then taking the girls to the library and Walmart (they have Christmas money that's burning a hole in their pockets!)

Tomorrow, I go back under the knife for surgery on my left knee this time. Melanie is taking me. I wanted to get it in before the end of the year so I wouldn't have to pay another deductible and also get it done while I'm off work anyway. Problem was, Jeff was out of vacation time until 1/1...so he's going to work as usual and Mel is going with me and driving me home. I'm not jazzed about having it done but I know it has to be done and I'd rather get it over with so I can do my therapy and get back to my exercise asap and be in good shape for the summer. I have set goals, baby!

And at least I know what to expect this time and things are better in other areas of my life so hopefully the depression won't sink in too bad. I've lined up a lot of activities to keep me busy and with it being my left knee instead of my right, hopefully I can get back to driving a LOT sooner. Anyway, trying to look at the bright side!

Got my bedroom repainted last week also! I LOVE it. It's the color of coffee (if you drink it with cream and sugar!) and matches my comforter but can also be neutral if I ever decide to change decor. I hung up my pictures and artwork and the curtains that used to hang in the living room. It's a nice little love nest/sanctuary!

But we still want to move! However, first things first. Got to replace Merc. He died a few weeks ago on the side of I-59 and I dont think there's going to be any reviving him this time. *sigh* Aint life grand? So as soon as I'm able to after my surgery, we will be doing some car shopping...not looking forward to it. I'm excited about getting a new(er) car but not excited about having a payment and I definitely hate the haggle with the salesmen. But what are ya gonna do? Gotta have wheels...

Hoping that knee surgery goes so well that we'll be able to go watch Roger play Friday night for New Year's Eve. Between Jeff, Shari, my cousin Annette and her friend Jenny...maybe I'll have enough help to make it! And I won't be dancing (bummer) but I can still sit, sip and listen! Should be fun!

Hope you and yours have a safe and Happy New Year! Welcome 2011--kiss my foot, 2010--glad to see you go!

Christmas to me...

This is gonna be long so if you need to come back another time, I understand--now's your chance! lol

I grew up with my Mom absolutely LOVING Christmas music!!! But she didn't really care for the traditional Christmas hymns or even the familiar secular songs. She liked originals. Some of her favorite Christmas albums were Loretta Lynn's Country Christas, Kenny Rogers' Christmas (and yes, my dad looked like a clone of him back in the day!), The OakRidge Boys, Red Sovine (who actually never sang but talked and told some really really SAD stories with music in the background!) but I think her favorite...and eventually came to be mine as well was The Statler Brothers Christmas Card.

The Statlers aren't very familiar to most people today but they were a traditional quartet that sang a lot of country and gospel. But their Christmas album is just lovely. She would always play them when we were putting up the tree, wrapping presents and especially on Christmas Eve when everyone came over for dinner.

There are SO many songs that I love on that album. One is "I'll Never Spend a Christmas I Won't be Loving You". I really loved that as a heartsick teenager. Jeff and I dated off and on through high school but I knew then as much as I know now that he was my soul mate (if there is such a thing) and the song talked about all the Christmases this couple shared and how each one was special in it's on way, whether things went right or not. I think back on all the Christmases Jeff and I have shared and the song fits perfectly. The Christmas my uncle Danny through a big fit, walked out and stopped talking to my mom--Jeff was there. The Christmas we became parents for the first time, the Christmas I came home from my mom's to find him passed out on the kitchen floor and half dead from what we would later discover was Crohn's disease. The Christmas we had our little girl. The first Christmas after my Maw Maw passed away and we were SO worried my mom was going to try and join her. The Christmas Maw Maw sent us another little girl. The last Christmas in our old house and the first one in our new one. The Christmas I wanted to wring his freakin' neck! lol And so many in between all those and since...

But I think the song from that album I love the most is "Christmas to Me". Each of the four sings a different verse about what Christmas means to them. Here are the lyrics:

Christmas to me is wherever she might be
Singing carols with the choir, hanging stockings by the fire
Making Christmas bows, hanging mistletoe
Cause where she is I wanna be, that's what Christmas is to me

Christmas to me is as far as I can see
Pasture fields covered with snow, white Christmas on the radio
Children and sleds and mom's gingerbread
At home with just the family, that's what Christmas is to me

Christmas to me is a tall cedar tree
Decorated and adorned with Christmas balls and strings of popcorn
Tinsel wrapped with care and webs of angel hair
A final star atop the tree, that's what Christmas is to me

Christmas to me is the newborn baby
Lying quietly in the hay, when all the angels came to say
Peace on Earth to men and I pray for peace again
Scenes of the nativity, that's what Christmas is to me

Christmas to you, may it never be blue
And may all your dreams come true
Merry Christmas to you.

I absolutely love it because it's true. Yes, Christmas is primarily the celebration of Christ's birth. But I dont think there's anything inherently wrong with other things reminding us of that special time. It's such a special time of year and everyone has their own memories and ideas of what makes the time special for them. Even those that are not deeply spiritual find Christmas to be a special time and I think that's the magic of it, the miracle of it and yes, I believe it's by design. ;)

So what is Christmas to me? Well, mine's not gonna rhyme so muddle through it anyway, k? lol

Christmas is as much about the preparation as it is the day. Putting up the decorations, each ornament that the kids made at some point and the memory that belongs to it. It's going all out to make sure the entire home feels cozy and warm and special. It's about arguing with my husband about putting the outdoor lights up!

It's about deciding which stockings to use--the big ones or the little ones! It's about hearing what the kids want for their three gifts and remembering how we came up with that idea/limit one year--Jesus only got three gifts, we do not need more than what He got. And remembering how blessed I felt that they LOVED the idea of being "like Jesus" instead of worrying about how much they could "get".

It's about seeing my kids get even more excited about doing their own Christmas shopping for others and how thrilled they are when they pick something out for someone. It's the pride I feel when they dont behave like little brats over what they DONT get that someone else did.

It's about looking at pictures of Christmases past and remembering the magic of it all and thinking about how much my own parents put into making it all so special even though we usually didn't have two dimes to rub together. And then realizing that many Christmases, Maw Maw came through as Santa and did so humbly and graciously.

It's about the Christmases when we were little and loved to make up plays for our parents or play Christmas carols on the piano, trumpet or whatever instrument we happened to be interested in at the time and seeing our family patiently watching, slightly annoyed but mostly proud!

It's about the Christmases SOMEBODY (usually my dad, but not always) dressed as Santa and paid a surprise visit to our house on Christmas Eve BEFORE he went to deliver gifts!

It's all the special Christmas outfits that my Aunt Margie sewed for us--all matching of course and then later when we were too "cool" for sewn clothes, my mom taking us shopping for our special "Christmas Eve" outfit.

It's about Christmas Eve dinner at my mom's--the best cook in the world.

It's about not being able to sleep Christmas Eve trying to hear Santa sneak in and then later, not being able to sleep because as parents, we were waiting for the kids to fall asleep!

Christmas is about making cookies and candy that you don't make any other time of the year. It's about lots and lots of good food and then next month lots and lots of exercise!

It's about parties and seeing friends, sending Christmas cards, getting a little sloshed and everybody being in a good mood, not worrying about what bills were due but just living in the moment.

It's about Christmas Day naps and leaving all the mess on the floor for a change!

It's about passing all this down to your own children, watching sisters, nieces and nephews play on the floor with their kids and remembering when they were the kids playing on the floor!

It's about missing those who are no longer with us but knowing they are having the best Christmas ever in Heaven and praying that God lets them peek down here at us during our happy moments.

It's about hope...that one day things WILL be the way you dream they should be but being content with the way things are for now.

It's about the DREAM of peace on Earth and that one day things really WILL be perfect.

That's what Christmas is to me.

Christmas at the Quick's

Had Christmas with Jeff's family this past Sunday. Here are a few pictures:


Jeff, his parents and brother & sister
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)

Jeff's parents and all the great-grandkids!

(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)

Jeff's niece, Kristin, her husband Jon and son Tyler...

(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)

Jeff's nephew, Drew and his baby Hayden (still blows my mind he has a kid!)

(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)

Jeff's brother's grandsons Braydon and Scotty
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)

Dylan with Drew's baby Hayden...my son loves babies but I hope its a LONG time before he has one of his own!

(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
My beautiful daughters...

(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)
me and my soon to be ex-husband!
(picture removed to keep somebody's panties out of a wad)

Recent random pictures

My bff, Shari's gorgeous son, Taylor's Senior pictures. I still have to get Dylan's made! But it's not right that we have grown-up, good-looking sons! All I can think about now is how one day some old lady in a bar is going to be gazing and groping them like we have some other hot young studs! lol






Random Thanksgiving...















Later that evening, Jeff, my friend Jenny and my cousin, Annette went to Courtyard 280 to watch a friend's (that we went to HS with) band play. They are SO good!!! We are their "groupies" lol!








me and my bff, Donna at the Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis and before you freak out, I did the 1 mile fun run/walk and I walked it! Felt good! and it was a LOT of fun!

As coherent as it gets...

Yesterday morning while working on getting craft stuff together for my kindergarteners, I was having some REALLY deep thoughts. I didnt get anything figured out exactly--no world crises solved, not even my own problems hammered out. But I remember thinking, "oh I need to write that down and maybe it'll lead me somewhere later" and so I "tweeted" (sounds better than "facebooked", dont ya think? even though I dont like twitter and I'm actually referring to Facebook when I say that) 'feeling a blog coming on later'. ha ha As if very many people care. Some do, I guess. They tell me they enjoy reading them. But most I'm sure could care less but oh well.

Anyhoo, I never got around to blogging yesterday. It was a CRAZY day. My class was wild as bucks so I came home during lunch to cool my heels and fell asleep watching Identity. Love that movie. Love me some John Cusack! But I awoke too late and too slow to get back to work on time and so I ran around all afternoon trying to catch my tail and then THOSE kids were awful, too. And here's the kicker to that--half of them went home early! I dont understand how it is that kids...they seem to get together subconsiously and decide, 'okay we're down in numbers, we gotta make up for it'.

So I hurry home because I'd promised Brooke last week when Shari, Kim, Christy and I went out that I would take her and Hannah to Switch (church) this week. How terrible a mom am I that my daughter begs me to take her to church and it gets a backseat to my social life? But I have moved away from God recently and I just am not jazzed about going to church right now. More on that later...

So I come home and am trying to get the house picked up (yes, George, I did it again! lol haha inside joke) and throw dinner together while I get ready to go someplace I'm sure is gonna burn down the minute I walk in (and we're talking Church of the Highlands here--big place! Wouldn't that be costly for me?) and not really in the mood to go in the first place for a number of reasons when my sweet, wonderful, totally awesome, amazing son tells me that he would take them for me so I could stay home and rest. My heart just melts. I DO love my kid.

Kayti had gone to spend the night at Alyssa's so Jeff and I got some quiet time alone but I never could get my thoughts back on track to blog or do anything else even remotely productive. So sorry all of you who have, I'm sure, been sitting on pins and needles waiting for my "thoughts". Here goes:

Christmas...I am so not in the mood for it this year. Who is with me? lol Normally, it's my favorite time of year and I absolutely love everything about it. But I just can't get into it this year. I thought that when I got my house painted and the decorations up, etc. that would do it but no so. I don't know what it is. I could easily blame it on my medication (been prozac free for three weeks now--yea! Not! Got to get that taken care of asap!) But I really don't think that's the problem. I've been in this mood (blah) since way before I went off the drugs (legally prescribed but let's call them what they are!) :D

I have moments of pride, joy and amusement (though generally under the influence of other self-medication) but my overall mood has just been one of "I really don't give a damn." And so here we are. Hard to think of doing any kind of holiday crafts (waste of money), baking (who needs the extra pounds), shopping (shopping sucks anyway), decorating (what for, you just gotta take it down again in a month) when you have this kind of attitude.

Okay, maybe I do need to get back on the drugs! lol

But seriously, the problem goes much deeper, I think and it's just gonna take some time. I'm not suicidal (nobody schedule an intervention) or even homicidal (just don't piss me off)...just bland. And yes, I realize I large part of it I brought on myself and I'm taking my medicine (the proverbial kind) thank you very much. But it doesnt change anything knowing that. It is what it is.

It's just been a very difficult year...turning 40 (even though I've tried to play it down), family relationships on edge, losing Jeff's grandfather, nearly destroying my marriage (and it's still not completely put back together), losing my job, having knee surgery, losing a student and having a serious car wreck...

So many emotions and so many thoughts that I dont know what to do with. I tried praying and I'm not so spiritually immature that I want to say it "didn't work". I know God is there and I know He is listening and that I have to be patient and wait on Him, etc. I guess I just dont like learning whatever it is He's trying to teach me. And so I've moved away from Him somewhat...oh don't start the prayer chain for me yet--I'm not a lost heathen. I still believe. I still pray. This is just where I'm at right now. I don't want to hear it. And my bestie assured me I'm okay. It's okay to be real with God and tell Him what you think and feel and even what you've done because He already knows it anyway. Tru dat!

Not much else has helped either and most of it has even been rather destructive. Some of it seemed to help at first, as strange as it may sound. But eventually my mind became clouded with even MORE thoughts and feelings that I didn't know what to do with. And if it sounds like I'm talking in code it's because I am just a little. Most of you know what's going on/what went on so you'll be able to decipher what I mean. Others, if you want to know you'll have to ask. Jeff isn't comfortable with me "baring it all" out in the open so I can't really go into details here. But I have nothing to hide and honestly, not really even anything that I'm ashamed of or regret. And therein lies another problem between me and God.

I've always been taught that there has to be repentence in order for there to be forgiveness. And in order for there to be repentence, there has to be regret. Well, I'm sorry, Father but I just don't regret it. Not now. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I don't really believe in regrets (letting a curse word slip out in church, yeah okay...forgive me, Father I have sinned but most things--I say take responsibility for what you do, especially when it was a conscious choice) and I dont generally have them. Most everything iin my life, good and bad, has served some kind of purpose and has made me who I am. And even though I'm not in a very good mood these days, I like who I am. How can I have regrets?

Especially not over these things. I learned so much through it all and quite honestly, it was rather enjoyable, rather special and if I could turn back the clock, I'd probably do everything the same. Well, almost everything! ;) So again...how am I supposed to have regrets? I'm sorry, but I don't.

I had to stay and answer the phones today at work during naptime and I got to talking to a coworker that is going through similar problems but on the opposite side. I am not particularly close to this woman so I'm not sure why but I opened up to her and told her about mine. I dont know, I just felt led to give her some perspective from the opposing point of view and desparately wanted to know what she thought and felt. So maybe we helped each other. I do know I felt a lot better after talking to her so maybe some good can come from something most people consider so horrible.

Where was I going with this...oh yeah. Christmas. Don't worry, I will put a smile on my face and go through the motions. And it will be good. I will pretend to be positive for the sake of all you other jolly little elves out there even if I'm not "feeling" it.

Moving on...Dylan has officially been accepted to the University of Alabama for the Fall 2011! It is also official that he has a partial scholarship! $3500 per year for four years. Jeff and I are beyond thrilled and you would think Dylan would be too but he is stressing about how to come up with the remainder! I keep trying to reassure him that he will probably get the rest of it covered in Pell grants and other scholarships and even if he doesn't, Jeff and I have got this. One way or another, that kid has worked his butt off and he WILL go. Anyone need a kidney? I also think I have a few eggs left...liver is probably not in good shape! haha

But I will make it happen for him. I'm proud of my baby boy and I won't keep going on about that since I've posted about it twice already. But he is stressed so if you want to pray about anything, pray for him and pray he gets the scholarships and stuff he needs or a big bucket of money falls from the sky. :D

I have postponed going to Zumba at Crosspoint until after basketball season. They kicked us out of the gym and into the youth room and its way too small for all the people. Especially when most of those people want to bring their little kids with them and take up what little space there is. Ugh! Can people honestly not find a sitter for a few hours? What's wrong with most of the husbands? Can they not watch the kids while you go get in shape for him? Well, stay fat then. But don't bring your kid to limited space and then get all pissy when they almost get kicked in the head! There, got that out! I will probably start going to classes at the Y next week. I can't do those churches and places where they just watch the dvd's. I'm too much of a zumba snob for that. I want a live teacher! lol

I am running (okay okay, not running but walking...sounds better to say running though) in the Jingle Bell Run this Saturday with my bestie Donna. This run benefits the Arthritis Foundation, which is a cause near and dear to both our hearts. I'm only doing the 1 mile fun run/walk so no one needs to freak out. But I do need to get my butt back to the doc and find out when I get to have the other knee done. (let me go find a container for my joy!) I was planning on having it done during Christmas break so I wouldn't miss too much work but I'm not sure I want to do that. I want to be able to party New Year's Eve and kiss this crazy year goodbye with a bang (or kick it in its fat ass, rather!) Plus I can still feel tissue or something dangling in this other knee which I'm sure he'll say its because I didnt do my physical therapy right or some such bull. Yeah bite me.

Afterward, I'm hoping to go to my friend, Kim's house to watch the SEC game (that is if I can get out of going to the in-laws...ugh lets dont even go there) where I still have not decided who I will root for. I would actually LOVE to root for Auburn. Go all the way SEC and the state of Alabama. But I have a few friends that are REALLY REALLY OBNOXIOUS Auburn fans (not to mention all the ones that call into JOX OD and Finebaum every day) and I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to listen to their crap all year. It would be one thing if they were HAPPY and celebrating for their team. But these few fans in particular don't do that. Instead they spend all their time worrying about Alabama and what they are doing or not doing. Focus on yourselves, douchebags! And try and act like you've been there, even though we know you haven't in a long time! It's funny to me to think that my 18 year old son has seen more National Championships in his lifetime (2) than Auburn fans twice his age have seen! lol And if you want to talk about having class...I just have three words for ya...pot, kettle, black! And another thing--we didn't START this crap with Cam Newton, we just laugh at what's funny (Scam Newton, take the money and run! lol) and we really dont give a rats ass whether he plays or doesn't play. Bite us.

So I may end up rooting for the Gamecocks and (choking) Steve Spurrier! I hate anyone and anything that makes me 1) feel sorry for Tennessee (thanks Lane Kiffin) 2) want to cheer for Spurrier (thanks obnoxious Auburn fans)!

This is definitely one of those situations where I would love it if BOTH teams could lose! lol

No, I'm not looking forward to football being over. It's going to be a boring winter. At least we have recruiting for awhile until baseball. Dang I should have been a boy so I could actually PLAY football. (please don't tell my feminist mother I just said that!)

And after that...I'm sure there's something to do somewhere. Who knows, I may even get in the mood to go Christmas shopping! But if you see me out, stay outta my way! Bah humbug!



j/k Blessings! (I'm sure I'll post again before Christmas so I'll save the usual Christmas greetings for now!)