The book I just finished and other deep thoughts...

Friendship for Grownups by Lisa Whelchel

I just love this woman! Everything she writes is just beautiful, from the heart and honest. And SO MUCH of it is what goes on inside my own head so it really just amazes me!

You may or may not believe this but friendship has always been an area I've struggled with. I've always had "buddies" and "girlfriends", etc. and there have been various times in my life where I've felt very close to certain people--perhaps even you! But then my environment changes (or yours does), life leads us in different directions and the connection, though maybe still there, is not quite as strong as it was.

I have never EVER in my life had a lifelong best friend. I envy my little sister, Mia very much that she and her friend LaDonna have literally been friends--good, close friends, for 21 years! Since kindergarten they have grown up together and shared so much. Our two families are forever bonded through their relationship--it's like having a whole 'nother set of siblings!

So seven years ago, when we moved away from Tarrant where I'd literally lived my entire life, changed professions after 15 years, and came back to having a relationship with the one and only living God, I began to pray for friends.

Many people have come in and out of my life in the last seven years (so that part hasn't changed from the rest of my life I guess) I have lots of casual "friends" but only a very few really CLOSE friends. Safe friends. Heart and soul friends.

I know many people that are married to their best friend. I have been at times. That's the way marriage is for some of us I guess--it takes a LOT of work. Kids, money, stress, sex, relatives, health issues, spirituality issues, differences in views on life, differing aspirations and goals, etc.while part of normal life are sometimes used by the enemy to seek and destroy. The fact that we are still together after 20 years amazes most people, especially me, given we married VERY young! There have been many times I've been close to walking away and if I'm being totally and completely honest, we're there again. We're trying, we really are. The reasons, while important, aren't relevant to this little blog so I'll save that for another time. And please don't think I'm trashing my husband. He is a good man and the issues we face are ours to deal with one way or another. But my point is, he's not always my "friend".

I know many people whose mom is their best friend and I gotta say, mine really comes close. I have a totally awesome mom that would do anything for me and my kids (and has) and we are really close and we share a LOT. I love her dearly. But again, she's my mom. And as much as it pains me to say it, there are still some deep dark places inside that I don't want to show her because SHE'S MY MOM and I love her too much!

My kids' friends have brought me friends via their parents and those relationships are wonderful! I know that they love me and my kids and I love them and theirs and am so grateful for the fellowship we share.

I have friends that I know through work, college and my professional life. Friends that share hobbies with me, friends from church and friends I've met on the 'net that I've NEVER met in real life but know more about me than some people I see everyday.

There are friends that I've known since childhood and through the wonder of technology have been very blessed to be able to reconnect with and it's been great--especially now that we are all older and wiser (or maybe sometimes just older!)

I have a WONDERFUL prayer partner who comes as close to the friendship I've prayed for more than anyone has ever!

God has answered my prayer for friends tenfold. If you seek friends, pray for them!

Friends are the visible manifestation of God's grace~~Lisa

How true is that? We NEED friends of all kinds and lots of them. Though we may only ever have one or two close friends, SAFE friends, over the course of our entire lives--all friendships serve a purpose, whether it's to help us, teach us, or sometimes discipline us.

So treasure your friends! The bible says a friend loves at all times. Always aim to be that kind of friend, regardless because you NEVER KNOW when you will NEED that kind of friend!

Here are a few more nuggets of truth I picked out from the book to share:

Dealing with our past and learning new ways of relating are very important if we want to be safe friend to others.

It's important to deal with our own broken places so we don't inadvertently break others.

Friendship is a journey, as is faith.

Value intimacy with yourself as much as intimacy with God and others. When you talk to yourself, be both honest and gentle.

When my little girls were acting foolish, childish, and a wee bit naughty, they still delighted my heart because they were my daughters and I didn't expect them to be perfect. [This is a] perfect illustration of God's supernatural love. God DELIGHTS in us--we don't have to be perfect!

May God grant you an incarnation of His love through the gift of intimate friendships

Blessings!