As I write this, things are going pretty well. I'm over my blahs for the most part and looking forward to Christmas. I'm not stressing about any of it this year, even though we're not quite done with our shopping. I AM done with Miss Brooke! She was easy this year: Addy, a smurf and Guitar Hero for DS. Done.
I'm SO glad I started the 3 gift limit with my kids years ago! Makes it so much easier. They still get cool stocking stuffers but when I think back to all the crap they used to get when they were little....agh! I never dreamed they would go for that idea when I first mentioned but they actually thought it was cool they were going to "be like Jesus"! LOL
Kayti's a little more difficult. Her three things were a laptop/netbook, a hair straightener and a dock for her iPod. My mom got one, my sister got the other and we're working on the laptop. So I have to come up with two more "santa" gifts for her. I got her a book that she wanted and since it's a very thick hardback, it can't go in the stocking so I guess that can count as one. But I'm at a loss for the 3rd thing. It's gotta be some kind of weird freaky thing that I have a kid who has not begged for everything under the sun and is so gracious that I'm having a hard time coming up with gift ideas for her! As for the netbook/laptop, it was hard to decide which to get so when I talked to her about it, she said a netbook would be fine..."I'm not a spoiled brat, Mother! I don't have to have something super-expensive!" LOL Good!
Dylan is the extremely difficult one. We wanted to get him a canoe but there are none within our budget that we feel good about buying for the kind of trip he wants to take. That leaves us with just a bunch of little stuff (except for tickets to Pasadena! haha dream on, kid!) So I've no idea what we're going to end up getting him.
But I'm not stressing about any of it. I love that for our family, Christmas is about being together and having fun. I would love to be able to say it's all about Jesus and I try really hard but with an unsaved husband...it's hard. Me and the kids do what we can and pray that the Lord understands.
Last week we did baking day with my mom and sister and we had SO much fun!! We have definitely got to keep that one for next year. I like getting it all done in one day and then having enough to give away so it doesn't all end up on my behind!
The girls had their dance Christmas parties and got to see their costumes and they love all of them, as usual. I don't know why Shalita stresses over picking out costumes--she always does such a fabulous job. Of course, I can't imagine picking out THAT many! I miss teaching dance this year. But God knew better and knew I needed to shift my focus to other things. Maybe again someday...
Things are going well at work for now. Knock wood. And I'm almost afraid to even say that out loud. People have been out sick and there are the usual little irritations you get whenever a group of women work in close contact with each other but nothing major. Hopefully, all that's behind us and we can move forward with loving on babies!
We went to the Alabama Theatre last Wednesday night to see "It's a Wonderful Life" as has become the tradition with me, my kids and my sister. This year, we were joined by Chris, his mom & nanny and some friends of my sisters. We had a great time as usual and as usual--I cried! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE the beautiful Alabama Theatre. Someday, when my kids are grown and I'm old and have nothing to do, I want to volunteer there. I would love to give tours and share that rich history with new minds! It's all so interesting. If you ever get the chance to go on a tour, you will NOT be disappointed. Especially if Cecil Whitmire gives the tour himself. That man is a fountain of knowledge on the Alabama Theatre!
My class Christmas party went VERY well. I have THE BEST group of kids and parents ever! I am so tremendously blessed and can't wait for regular "school" to start back. They are learning so much and whenever I see the light start to go on inside one of them it just gives me chills!
I'm a little irritated with bio Dad and I don't even know how to put all my feelings into words. I'll just tell the story and you can decide what to think and if you have any suggestions or advice, feel free! But he calls yesterday and wanted to know if he could come by for a visit, he wanted to bring the kids some money for Christmas:
1) I HATE people that call me last minute wanting to "come by" but at least he DID call.
2) I HATE cash for Christmas. Yes, I know it's more than I ever got from the man for 20+ years of my life but for the love of Pete...it's Christmas. Cash is okay for birthdays, etc. but at least do a gift card and put it in a nice card. Last year, he just opened up his wallet and gave them the cash. Maybe I'm being silly but I just don't like that at all!
But I'd had a somewhat rough day and was feeling sick and Jeff & Dylan were at Dylan's wrestling match so I told him it wasn't a good time. So then he asks about tomorrow night and I tell him that no, that's not good either--Jeff & I are planning to finish up our shopping. I tell him he can come over Sunday. But then he says, "Well, I was wanting to bring Sheila by there but she works nights except for tonight and tomorrow night."
1) Who the heck is Sheila? Must be his new girlfriend of the week.
2) Who the heck CARES about seeing Sheila? Why do I need to meet every skank he meets? (and okay, maybe she is a nice girl...but judging by his history, probably not)
3) I thought it was about seeing the kids...no, it's all about HIM. I don't know why that surprises me. It's been all about him for 40 years now!
4) Um, my schedule is important, too. Everything can't revolve around when it's good for him.
It's like my sister, Misti, says--he ain't gonna ever change. We can either take him like he is or not. Honestly, I could go either way.
I don't think he understood or understands that when I say I forgive him, I don't mean that I'm completely okay and everything is all hunky-dory and we can all act like one big happy family with him playing the part as the doting father and grandfather. That's NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
I forgive him for running out and neglecting me for 20+ years because I love the Lord and He doesn't want me to waste my time being angry at someone. So many people mistakenly think forgiving someone is about THEM. It's not. It's about YOU. Most people that you need to forgive either 1) don't know and/or 2) don't care. It's about not carrying around that grudge and hatred in your heart--there's not enough room in there for the good stuff!
But even though I'm not angry, I'm still not, nor will I ever be, ready to think of him as my dad or the kids' granddad. He's a nice man that sometimes has some interesting things to say. He holds part of my history and roots. He's trying to do better with his life and for that, I commend him and am rooting and praying for him all the way. But I'm not going to pretend like I love him like I love my REAL dad--the man that raised me. I don't. I just don't and I don't think I ever will. This is as much of myself as I can give him (and it's more than he ever gave me) and if it's not enough...well, I just don't know what to say.
So moving on to more important and cheerful things...
Even more than Christmas, I am excited about the new year. I just love New Year's. It's like I heard in a movie once--you get to start all over. Everyone gets a second chance! There are SO many things I want to clean up and change in my life. I want to get recommitted to a church. I want to grow spiritually and dig deeper into God's Word. I want us to become a more godly family. We're close and we have fun but we need to do better. I want to start having daily family devotions and more family bible study, etc. Not exactly sure how this is going to be accomplished but I'm praying that God will show me. It's tough being the spiritual leader of a family when you're not supposed to be!
We are also going back on the Dave Ramsey plan! I just love this guy! And no, I don't agree with EVERYTHING he says but I do most of it. I will not worship at the altar of the almighty FICO score ever again and it's a good thing since ours is trashed anyway! LOL
I have not charged one thing for Christmas and haven't in several years. And I've learned to be very frugal on a lot of things. But we've just been keeping our heads above water because we didn't have the income to get any savings established or make any headway on the debt snowball. Then as soon as I did get full-time work, Jeff's hours got dropped! So our plan had to change to a "let's-just-coast-and-make-it-through-Christmas" plan but I'm getting pumped about getting out of debt. We have yet to sit down and go through everything and get on a written plan but just knowing we're going to gets me excited.
Now, one place I depart from his thinking is paying off everything before we try to buy a house. If I can get a mortgage and my payments be CHEAPER than my rent, I will so do it. I'm not trying to buy my dream home. But rent is really starting to kill us. I've enjoyed not having to worry about fixing anything but as the interest rates keep going down...I'm thinking we could save a lot of money. I'm not one of those "rent is a waste of money" people. I'm fine with renting since we're not generally good savers and weren't able to fix things when they needed it. And we got so burned on homeownership before. But we have outgrown our little house so if (and it's a big IF) like I said, we CAN get mortgage payments cheaper than this rent, we will do it.
But that's it. No more credit cards, I'm kicking SLMA out of the house and no car loans. We've actually not had a car loan for 5 years and it's been WONDERFUL!!! I'll keep driving Merc as long as he wants to keep going! And I'm so thankful for him!
And of course, there's the usual--lose weight resolution! haha
But anyway, I'm excited! What are you excited about?
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