Happy Birthday, Kayti!

We celebrated the transition into teenagehood by going to Fronterra to eat and getting her an iPod. She also got to go get her toes done! A few days later when I could finally pull myself together enough to put my thoughts and feelings down, I left her this letter:

Dear Kayti,


I wanted so much to give you this letter and to make your 13th birthday something special. I know you are pleased with how we celebrated and what your gifts
were. But I do have one more "gift" for you that you may not treasure now in this moment but I hope that one day you will!

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a woman, I put away childish things. I Corinthians 13:11

Sweetie, you are no longer a little girl, but a young woman. Thirteen isn't just another birthday; it's a transition to another season of life. On this pivotal day (or a few days afterward, as the case may be!), I want to tell you that you have successfully completed your little girl years! So far, you have been in "private" school (Mt. Vernon & Deb's), public school (Tarrant and Clay) and homeschool and you have had many teachers, including me. I wanted the most important thing I have taught you to be is how to follow the Lord and obey His Word. I probably haven't set a very good example but I do believe that with all my heart and even though I may fail at times (as you will, too at times! Remember Romans 3:23 says we ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God. That's definitely true for your mother!), it is important to never keep trying! You have been an awesome "little girl" and "student". You have learned and obeyed (most of the time!) And I have enjoyed every minute of your childhood. I know that I have definitely made some mistakes as a parent. I truly hope that you forgive me those and understand that I have always done my best and had your best interests at heart. As I look at you now, watch all that you do, I know whatever mistakes I made couldn't have been too bad! I mean, just look at you! You are amazing and I have full confidence that as you leave these little girl years, you will live out what you have learned.


For if you just listen and don't obey, it is like looking at your face in a mirror but doing nothing to improve your appearance. You see yourself, walk away and forget what you look like. but if you keep looking steadily into God's perfect law--the law that sets you free--and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.--James 1:23-25

The word "hypocrite" was originally used to describe actors who wore masks. Now is the time for you to choose whether or not you are going to put on that mask; will you authentically "walk the talk" or will you simply play the part you have been taught since childhood? You have listened to me and other "teachers" a lot. From this day forward, as you enter adulthood, you have the choice to either walk away from all you've learned or dig deeper into God's Word. It's difficult to "walk the talk" and heavens knows I've stumbled quite a bit trying to do just that. But God knows what's in your heart of hearts and as long as you continue to strive to obey Him, you will discover His blessings for your life.


If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to Wash one another's feet.--John 13:14

Sweetie, look for ways to serve others. Many people will look up to you because of your strong personality, confidence and every your appearance. That gives you an incredible opportunity to reflect Jesus by choosing to reach out to help other people. It's easy to think that the best way to serve God is to "do things for the Lord" through various ministry opportunities. Don't get me wrong--we can, and should serve God in that way. But true acts of service, those times when we reach down to help others, often take more work than seemingly harder ministry jobs. Remember God tells us that we serve Him best when we humble ourselves and serve others. One of the things your ol' mom has learned is that you don't have to travel far off or do dramatic things to serve Him. The important thing is to listen to the Holy spirit when He prompts us to serve and do it immediately (remember "obey quickly"!), no matter how small, hard, or ridiculous it may seem to you. Remember, God's ways are not our ways.


And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attract by the good things they do. --I Timothy 2:9-10

This one is going to be tough! Girlfriend, you are built like a brick house already (just like I was when I was your age!) Don't think that doesn't worry your dad!) You could wear a tent and still attract attention. And no, I don't mean that I want you to dress like the Duggars (though there's nothing wrong with that either!) Dressing modestly can't be about skirt lengths and the width of shoulder straps or bellies showing or whatever. There is also a time and a place for different items! True modestly is about attracting attention to your whole self--body, mind and spirit--and not just a part of your body (no matter how cutey-patooty it may be!) Aim to please God and attract His attention by the good things you do. Then you will be truly beautiful.


I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him.--I Samuel 1:27


I wanted a daughter for as long as I could remember because I wanted no only a cutesy little doll I could dress up and put bows in her hair (and you definitely were!) but I wanted to have the same kind of relationship (yet, even better) that I have with my mother (Deb). Kayti, we are so much alike. So far, I think that is a good thing. (Though it has definitely been challenging trying to deal with my own stubborn carbon copy of me sometimes!) I appreciate your strengths and understand your weaknesses. I'm so glad we're friends as well as mother and daughter. I'm very thankful that you still like to spend time with me, your dad and your siblings (sometimes the siblings!) I don't take that for granted. I love you my beautiful daughter!