Busy busy...

As usual...

Do you ever notice that the more you try to slow down, the busier things seem to get? Does it work that way for anyone else or am I the only one?

I am feeling MUCH better lately. I went back on prozac. I never really meant to get off of it, especially not cold turkey. I just ran out and kept forgetting to get it refilled and then before I knew it, it had been a month and I felt okay so I thought, maybe I can do without it. Not so much.

When I'm not on it, I start to erroneously think that I shouldn't have to take some kind of pill to feel normal. I know better than that and I know there is no shame in taking medicine. Or rather there shouldn't be. No one feels guilty for taking medication for a heart condition, diabetes or diminished thyroid or anything else. I have a medical condition. I am chemical imbalance that when it is not managed, I have severe mood swings, anxiety, rage, depression and it is not just mental. I physically HURT. My entire body aches and I cannot get enough rest or sleep. In trying to catch up on rest, I lose my motivation and my focus. I need my medicine.

I am not completely back to "normal" yet and it will be some time before I am. Just like it takes a while to get out of your system, it takes a while to get back in as well and for everything to even out.

In the meantime, I'm trying not to overload myself on the "small stuff" but at the same time, that "small stuff" keeps me sane. I was feeling out of control last weekend and starting to get a touch of anxiety so I reorganized the girls' closet. No, I do not suffer from OCD--you can take one look at my house on any given day and tell that! But when I do get that out of control feeling, it makes me feel better to do some sort of task that I can have complete control over. Some people grow roses--it makes them feel better to have completely control over another living thing! LOL I clean out closets. And garages. And cabinets, etc. Something that I can see immediate results and get instant gratifcation!

So now I'm on a major reorganization/redecoration kick again. I don't like the interior of my home anymore. Everything needs to be repainted and just given a face lift. So I'm trying to figure out what to do with everything in this little bitty cracker-jack box of a house! Part of me says, don't do anything! Save your money for a move! But then where to? We're stuck here in Clay until Dylan gets out of school and that's two more years away! If I have to be here for two years, I cannot keep looking at these walls and this stuff! Ugh!

But we're already strapped for cash. We're keeping our heads above water, fortunately. God always provides but there are things I want to get done, get caught up, get paid off and buy and it's looking like to be able to do all of that, I'm going to have to get another income from somewhere. I can't decide on whether to ask for more hours at my current job or get a night job. Both ideas suck. If I take on more hours at my current job, I am afraid homeschooling will suffer. If I get a night job, I'm afraid family time will suffer. Sacrifices must be made. But which ones? I just have to be faithful in prayer so God can show me what to do.

In other news, Jeff and I did go out Friday night. The kids spent the night with mom so we could have the house to ourselves and we went to eat at Joe's Crab Shack! I love that place and we used to eat there quite often when I worked at the bank and made the big bucks! Then we went to some friends to look at the pictures she took of our family. (I'll post those separately later--there are a TON of them! She did an awesome job and went above and beyond, as usual!) We sat out on "the sip" (I want a "sip" of my own, that is awesome! A screened in porch with heat! It was like camping without the bugs!) just talking and listening to music and having a good time. My favorite cousin was there and we stayed until 2 a.m.

Yesterday, we went to watch the Alabama/LSU game at my parents' and mom and I went to Christmas Village with her bff last night. I spent all of $5! I bought Brooke a stocking stuffer! Hey, it's a start.

I've had a touch of the stomach bug this weekend so we stayed home again this morning from church. Jeff and Dylan have gone to the inlaws to pick up a computer desk they are giving us and the girls and I are here, catching up on laundry, housework, schoolwork and just chillin'. I hope to be able to get some sewing done either today or tomorrow. The girls have choir and stuff later and I am planning on making taco salad for dinner. Just hope my tummy can handle it!


Blessings!