And even more pictures (and thoughts)

Where to begin...

Well, yesterday at church, the youth choir performed a song. I SO wish my oldest daughter had the same performing demeanor as my younger one! Don't get me wrong, I love both of them and I know they are different girls. But they BOTH love to perform. Only you can actually tell that Brooke loves it. Kayti seems so nervous and anxious she rarely smiles nor will she even make eye contact. She looks up at her forehead like she is so unbelievably bored! You would think after being on stage in one venue or another, she would be used to it by now. I guess some people are just like that. But the song was really beautiful and Michelle has done a great job with those kids.




We are still having a hard time (or so it seems) and I am trying to watch every penny. But then I hear about families who are having it so much harder and I feel ashamed that I worry like I do. We really do have everything we need. We don't have everything we want but God does give us a lot of what we want. We are definitely blessed, it just doesn't always feel like it when you know you owe people. I hope I never become ambivolent about that, though. I know so many people who take and take and take and never pay back and I just would not be able to sleep at night. It really bothers me to owe ANYBODY and I am very thankful for mercy when I receive it. Some people just approach it like it's owed to them or something and that makes me so mad!

I am so very thankful for these three kids, too. They are spoiled, for sure. But not spoiled in material things. I don't even worry about Christmas because my kids do not expect a lot. They know that money doesn't grow on trees and you can ask any one of them (okay, maybe not Brooke yet) and they will tell you their favorite part of Christmas is just being with family and eating all that good food! So maybe they're not focused on the Lord completely...but it's better than being focused on getting gifts! I love that my girls prefer me to make them clothes rather than buy them labels. Oh, I was SO not like that! And my grandmother was so much more talented at sewing than I can ever hope to be and she would make us the cutest things. But when I got to be the same age as my girls--oh my gravy! I would not have worn anything homemade for all the chocolate in Hershey, Pennsylvania! I HAD to have Calvin Klein, Gloria Vanderbilt, Guess and all those other labels. Thank you, God for being merciful to me and giving me children who are smarter and much more grateful than their mom!

I guess that's why I have such a hard time telling them "no" when it comes to activities and things. Fashions and toys are so fleeting but life experiences make fabulous memories. I want them to look back on their childhood and remember when they got to take dance or be in the play or go visit this place. I never think back to my childhood with fond memories of the clothing I wore and with just a few exceptions, even the toys and gadgets I had! I remember playing ball every year (not that I was any good at it) and the sacrifices my parents made so that I could take dance and baton and be a majorette in high school. I remember that every year, no matter what--whether our roof was leaking or our car needed brakes, we went on some kind of vacation even if it was to run to the beach for a few days. Priorities. Life is all about priorities and we all have to decide what our priorities are. That's what I struggle with daily--finding that balance between providing memories for my children and financial tranquility. Between worthwhile activities and the peace that comes with having down time to think and reflect. I just pray that what I am doing is what God wants me to do.

Yesterday afternoon, bio dad or Larry or whatever you want to call him came over for another visit. He brought his arrowhead collection. My mom had told me over the years that he was an avid artifact collector and historian and that's probably where I get my love of history and all things Native American. Go figure. Someone can have an influence over you even when they are no where around. Guess there is something to that scientific biological mumbo jumbo, huh?

But the kids got a big kick out of seeing the stuff and I was actually in the frame of mind yesterday to snap a few pictures so I could show the artifacts to my American Girl class. Here he is showing something to Dylan:




Here are some actual Indian bones! Yes, he was involved somehow in excavating a cave near Pinson:



I thought this was interesting and the one most likely to amaze my class--it's an actual shell that has a hole bore into it indicating it was used in jewelry:



And more arrowheads...






Thankfully, I was able to get a short nap yesterday after he left and before we had to go back to church last night. You know you're getting old when you WANT to sleep! But we had the most awesome service last night at church. Pastor Ernie did not preach on anything. We just had a time of sharing and prayer. Different people got up and shared favorite Scripture or Scripture that God had been placing on their hearts lately and then we all got in small groups and prayed. It was SO awesome. I am so honored and thankful to be a part of a church where people are humble and willing to pray for a president they didn't vote for. I am so unbelievably sick of hearing all the negative things about what's "going to happen" because Obama is our president. What a lack of faith! He is there because God placed him there--trust God and quit your whining!

We prayed not only for the leaders of our country, but the leaders of our church and for each other. For those suffering with physical pain and health issues, for those facing financial difficulties, for us parents trying to bring up godly children in an ungodly world. And just thanking and praising the Lord for all that He has done for us--we are SO undeserving.

I didn't get the chance to share my favorite Scripture--I'm not a gifted public speaker so you know if I ever speak out loud, it's because God has really prompted me to do it. It's not that I'm nervous or anything like Kayti but I know who I am--just a plain, honest, hillbilly woman who says what she thinks and because of that, I sometimes come off as offensive, too casual or insincere. Know that that's not my heart at all. My gift is writing. I am able to convey my thoughts and feelings (usually) more clearly with the written word than with the spoken word. But anyway...

My favorite Scripture is 1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, unto his mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety upon him because he cares for you."

I first heard those words following a 1993 Alabama vs. Georgia game from then quarterback, Jay Barker. Down 28-0 at the half, Bama came back and scored 29 points to win the game! It was awesome. When ESPN interviewed Barker following the game, the first thing out of his mouth was thanking Jesus and giving the glory that had just been given to him--back to God!

Ever since then, those words have stuck with me and I believe I am only now starting to realize why and it's for many reasons. One of which is, I was raised to be independent and strong, which is a good thing. But none of us should forget that apart from God, we are NOTHING. It is through His strength and by His grace that we are able to do anything. Whenever I start to lean on my own understanding or think I can "do it myself", I have to remind myself to have a little humility. That doesn't come naturally to me so I think that is why God put those words in the forefront of my heart and mind.

The second part of the Scripture--"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you" is obvious. I have a lot of anxiety and it's not because of life circumstance or anything external. It's chemical and physical and though medication definitely helps, nothing is better than prayer.

So even though my days are full and busy and at times, overwhelming, I am so grateful for each day and even excited about it. I definitely want to do big things for God someday and I know that one day, it will be my "due time". For now, I'm not only content but thankful. My blessings are huge (though they may seem small to some) and my problems few and that is more than enough.

Blessings to you!