This past Saturday, my grandmother's brother, Gene, passed away at the age of 72. He is now home with Maw Maw, Granny, his younger brother, Frankie and his grandson, Dustin and they are all with the Lord. I was carelessly reminded by someone that "I didn't see him much anyway" and though that is true, his presence was always felt to me.
A rock is what I think of when I think of Uncle Gene. Even as he grew older and more frail, I have never known such strength as existed in this man. The 2nd child of six and the oldest boy, when my great-grandfather left his family, he dutifully dropped out of school at a very young age to go to work to support his mother and brothers and sisters. All the boys did as soon as they could. My whole life I have never heard one of them complain. I've never even heard it second hand and it never seemed to me like they had any regrets over their difficult lives. It's amazing the things people complain about these days--people who have things no where near as hard as they did. The mutual love and respect and closeness that existed among those six kids and their own families is unbelievable and if that doesn't convince someone of the love of our God, I don't know what will. I know I am not even doing it justice with my pitiful attempt to put it into words.
After he married and started his own family, he still took care of everyone else on some level. He either helped support them or provided them with a place to live in his own home. Whenever anyone needed anything, as soon as he found out about it, it was done, no matter what it cost him financially or otherwise. He worked so hard and was even working (in his mind) on his deathbed, trying to fix something.
When my grandmother passed away (11 years ago this June) I remember the ENTIRE family being there--kids, grandkids, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, cousins, inlaws & outlaws--were all there. And yet, aside from my own mom, it's my Uncle Gene that I will remember as the most prominent presence even though he rarely spoke a word. Not then, not ever as I remember. He was a very quiet, very gentle, very sweet man. I can remember standing at the foot of my grandmothers bed just sobbing. I don't know where everyone else was, I'm sure they were around but I felt so alone in my pain at that moment (even though I knew I wasn't the only one hurting) and he walked up behind me with one arm on his cane and the other arm reached around my neck and pulled me in and oh my gosh, he was so strong. He just held me for awhile and never said a word. He didn't have to. His strength was enough to let me know that he was hurting, too. Not only for himself but for me. He knew and understood my and it was though he was trying to absorb some of it for me.
Thinking back on it now it reminds me of the arms of Jesus that hold us when we have no one else to do it. He knows our hurts and is there when we need comfort and how people fail to see the parallels in our earthly relationships and the one we can have with Him is beyond my understanding. I don't have enough faith NOT to have faith in Him!
I remember while we were at the hospital with my grandmother, my mother telling him how upset that Maw Maw was that there were no grave markers where some of our relatives were buried. The week following her funeral--there were markers. Uncle Gene made some simple, concrete headstones with his bare hands.
There is a family story going around that he once had bought several burial plots intended for his wife and immediate family but as people who knew passed away and their families had no money to burry them, he gave them all away one by one. I am not sure of all the facts of this family rumor but I do find it to be characteristic of how he was--he gave all he had. Remind you of anyone else?
My husband and I attended a funeral recently where several white doves were released. One white dove was held by the lady's daughter and the owner of the doves explained that we will miss our dearly departed because they are no longer here. But that so many who have gone before her have missed her since and are waiting for her to join them so they can all fly home together. Indeed the released doves were circling, waiting for the other dove. When the daughter released it, it took a few seconds to get its bearing but it DID remarklably join the others and they circled together for a while. The owner further explained that they will be home at his house before he got there and no one knew exactly how they found there way back, etc. but it was just one of God's miracles. Sort of like how we all eventually find our way back "home" to be with our loved ones who have gone before us and with our Heavenly Father. I imagine it was just that way this weekend as so many flew down to show Uncle Gene the way home. And one day, he will fly down with them to help us all find OUR way home.
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