I meant to blog more this past month. No, I really did! But I've been so busy living my life I haven't had much time to write about it. Today, I'm making myself stop and reflect for a minute.
I did get my storage organized for the most part. I'm needing help moving two pieces of furniture from one shed to the other. Then I need to clean my kayak and figure out how to hang it so the hull doesn't get warped. But the weather has been uncooperative for the most part.
The new guy and I went on a hike last weekend and although my knees and heel have been bothering me quite a bit most days (I blame the rain! I also think I may have spurs on my heel. Getting old sucks!), I took my hiking stick--titanium with a rubber stopper on the end--and it helped navigate some rough spots. We went to Swan Bridge and it was so beautiful! We're planning to do more hikes and kayaking adventures as the weather improves (we hope the weather improves).
The previous boyfriend sort of got me hooked on college basketball and I've been diligently watching my Tide. I love them but I'm not too confident they will go far in the NCAA tournament. I guess getting hooked on another sport isn't as bad as another previous boyfriend years ago that attempted to get me hooked on drugs! See, I'm learning to find the positive in everything, not just the obvious.
I got a new hair color and style. I am no longer a blonde and I love it. Even though I was going for more red, I like the way it turned out and I've gotten many compliments on it. She also gave it a deep conditioning which it desperately needed and it feels great! It's also much easier to style even though it's not short. And I can still pull it up when I am exercising, cleaning, or whatever.
The current boyfriend got me hooked on the History Channel series, Vikings. I binge-watched it for a few weeks and am all caught up. Now I have a series hangover until August! Good thing Survivor started a new season.
I've also taken an interest in hunting. I'm preparing to buy a rifle soon and practice over the summer before the next deer season begins.
New man and I took a little road trip to the Jack Daniels distillery this past weekend and I.LOVED.EVERY.MINUTE.OF.IT!!! I highly recommend visiting. Even if you don't care for whiskey and even if you don't care for any adult beverages at all the history is fascinating and it's a cute little town. The drive is very scenic and peaceful. I already loved Old No. 7 but I got to taste JD Honey and JD Fire--which is MUCH better than Fireball (puke). Mix the two together and you have yourself a drink called Bee Sting! It's my new favorite drink. 😀
I also attended the Ladies Event at Harley Davidson. I got to try a stationary motorcycle and found out I was pretty good at shifting! But because I know there's much more to riding a motorcycle than shifting, I signed up for Riding Academy in a few weeks! I am so excited but now I have to think about what this new hobby is going to cost! LOL I did manage to find a lady on Facebook that was selling some of her biker things and I got riding pants, boots and an awesome helmet all for $50! But even a used Harley is going to cost some money and that may take awhile. Especially when I am needing to finance so many other things. I need to find some hobbies that don't cost so much money!
I still love my little home! But something about it has made me want to do things I never thought I would be interested in. I already have a chicken coop on the property so...yes, I'm thinking about it. I want to learn more about it before I dive into that. I'm also planning to try again at gardening. Usually if something doesn't bark or cry, I forget about it and it dies. But I'm hoping a little more education on the subject and a little more time now that I don't have kids at home or grad school to contend with may just help me turn my black thumb green. Standby.
I've even taken to making homemade dog treats and resumed crocheted. I guess my old lady is starting to show. But I don't care. I love trying new things and as much as I love activities that feed the adrenaline junkie in me, I like to balance it out with activities that force me to calm myself and be still.
I have taken a step back from the homeless ministry. At first I was so emotionally drained from the last month of last year and my heart just wasn't in it. Then I got frustrated because it feels like I'm hardly making a difference. It's like bailing out the ocean with a teaspoon. There is SO MUCH need and so little resources. And I'm starting to feel like I'm being led in a different direction. I don't know what that is yet so I've taken a break to try and figure it out. Thus the need for more more quiet activities so I can hear when I'm being spoken to!
I'm still reading through Lysa TerKeurst's Uninvited and finding it so helpful. And Pastor Jentezen Franklin spoke at church last week and his new book is titled Love Like You've Never Been Hurt. Both books seem to compliment each other well and I can't wait to dive into the second. Pastor Jentezen previewed it a little in his sermon and it's things I SO needed to hear a few months ago. But when I actually got to meet him as he signed my book, I told him I will take it now rather than never. Somehow God helped me to heal and I started loving my life again and I'm so thankful. I had stayed a little miffed about the whole thing for longer than I allowed myself to admit but now, I've truly released it. I can honestly say I wish the best for him, wherever he is and whatever he's doing.
It's funny how we have to be taught over and over again that forgiveness isn't about the other person that wronged us. Forgiveness is for US. It doesn't mean that what the other person did was okay. It simply means we are free from the burden of having been hurt and feeling like we need to hurt back in return. It means we release our right to avenge and give it over to God to do and I KNOW He can do it so much better than I can! Because I have certainly been on the receiving end of His vengeance at times. Even though I know He loves me it's because He loves me that I must be disciplined sometimes in ways that help me understand things better. Through my hurt, I caught a glimpse of how badly I hurt someone else and I was finally truly sorrowful.
It's hard to give over that desire of wanting to "get someone back" because it is what our flesh wants. And sometimes the flesh wins. But when that happens it is seldom if not never a good thing. I hope I've articulated that well and I hope that what I've shared will help someone out there to forgive and move forward. You have EVERY RIGHT to feel what you feel. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. They want you to be positive and move on mostly for their comfort--because they don't know how to handle it or because they don't like seeing you down and defeated. But even when their intentions are good, they are still wrong. Let yourself feel what you feel and move on when YOU are ready. Just guard your heart and your mind in the process. And if you lose people along the way, well, that, too, can turn out to be a blessing. Just trust Him. It's not easy and I know I fail time and time again and probably will continue to do so. I'm glad I serve a loving God that understands my weaknesses and loves me in spite of them. Anger isn't a sin. God Himself got angry and I believe STILL gets angry. It's how we respond in our anger that sets us apart and I, regrettably, still struggle with that at times. But God and I are working on it!
Until next time, be blessed!
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