I press on...

Building 429 has a song out right now that fits me perfectly at this season of life. It's called "Press On".

Sometimes this world starts breaking me down
I get so lost I think I’ll never be found
And there are moments of fear and doubt
Even the best fall to the ground

I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball
I must confess that I still don’t get it all
Lord I believe that all Your words are true
Doesn’t matter where I’m going if I’m going with You
I press on, I press on, I press on
When I still don’t get it

I see the world through my jaded eyes
I get frustrated when there is no Why
I put my focus on worthless things
Even the strong fall to their knees
God only knows what we all need

I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball
I must confess that I still don’t get it all
Lord I believe that all your words are true
Doesn't matter where I’m going if I’m going with You
I press on, I press on, I press on
When I still don’t get it

Life goes on, life goes on
But Your love will prove
All I need, all I need
I will find in You
Life goes on, life goes on
But Your love will prove
All I need, all I need
I will find in You
I press on

I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball
I must confess that I still don’t get it all
Lord I believe that all Your words are true
Doesn’t matter where I’m going if I’m going with You
I press on, I press on
I press on, I press on
When I still don’t get it

Life goes on, life goes on
But Your love will prove
All I need, all I need
I will find in You
Life goes on, life goes on
But Your love will prove
All I need, all I need
I press on

I have been a MESS lately!!! I'm super stressed, the girls have been driving me nuts, I miss my son, I'm bored at work, worried about finances again and just seem to have too much to do and not enough time to do it! There's been drama with the ex and so many distractions.

But I finally realized what it was last week. Spiritual warfare. You see, I'm getting ready to be an intercessory prayer team member at the upcoming LIFE retreat the first weekend in May. For those of you that do no know what that is, I'm basically a keeper of the gate. All intercessory prayer members are positioned up above and around the sanctuary where the teaching and worshiping is happening and we are constanting covering every person leading the retreat and attending the retreat in prayer. Some of us serve as worshipers. Some serve as warfare wagers. I'm more of a worshiper by nature so that's what I intend to do. But the enemy knows that so many people will be led out of bondage, delivered from strongholds, saved, recommitted, etc. etc. at this retreat that it makes him nervous. He knows because it happens every time. It happened to me last December! Soul ties were broken, forgiveness given and received, a release of so many bad things and an infusion of the Holy Spirit like I have never in my life ever experienced. It's HUGE. And I am taking the responsibility of serving as an intercessor VERY SERIOUSLY. So seriously, that the enemy is trying to distract me from focusing on preparing for it!

He has thrown so much at me lately (as if I needed his help!) that it's been extremely difficult for me to walk and live in the freedom that I know I have. Thankfully, I have surrounded myself with some awesome prayer partners and have been equipped with tools that help me battle. Day by day, I have to fight.  I put on the full armor of God that I may stand against the enemy and his schemes because whether or not you believe it, folks, our battle is NOT against flesh and blood. It it against the rulers of darkness and evil! Some days have been VERY bad, so bad that I have, regretfully, cried out in anguish and felt like giving up. Other days have been better. But I know how clever he is and I know he'll keep trying.  

But I can see the bigger picture. I'm aware. That doesn't make it easy. But it does make it endurable. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Two more weeks of this semester, resumes are out and people are calling, God is providing, grace is being shown and ground is being taken. 

I am SO thankful for the love of my Savior, my family and friends! I am thankful for those who have been praying me through this time and I and praying that I won't let anyone down. Pray that we are able to keep fighting the good fight! We'll press on!!!