reCreate

All I can say right now really is....WOW!

I absolutely LOVE going to conferences and I never knew why until this past week when I was studying my lesson for my LIFE group and I came across this revelation:

When we starve our bodies, we hunger for more. Our tummies cry out, "Feed me! Feed me! I must have nourishment!"  Some people (me included) will even get dizzy or a headache if we dont eat at least a little something on a regular basis. However...

When we starve our spirits, we DON'T hunger for more. The spirit grows quiet until it becomes difficult to even FORCE yourself to feed it. I had never thought about that but it's true. When one falls out of the habit of going to church, studying the Word, praying, fellowship with other believers...there is no great craving for more. Sad, but true.

So when I go to conferences or get really involved in church, my soul cries out for more! I get really on fire for God and I have so much wisdom and insight that I just want to scream it out to anyone and everyone!

But this one was different. Not that I didn't get fed--boy did I ever! My soul AND my body! But it was just so different the WAY my spirit was fed..no great altar calls of rededication. No overwhelming spiritual experience, no outpouring of emotions (I did cry once!).

But I am filled with a new motivation that both excites me and terrifies me at the same time!

I didn't hear God tell me to go do some great wonderful thing in His name.  What I heard most was Him telling me to "be still".

You see, that is just not me. I have to have a plan. I love surprises, yes, but they can't be so over the top that they don't fit neatly into my nice little schedule/routine. Wanna run off to the beach spur of the moment? Sure, just let me make a few calls!

I've been learning, truly. One cannot go from being a happy housewife to single, homeless and crazy and then back to stability without giving up control over a few things. But it's WAY out of my comfort zone. I need to know what's coming!

But over and over lately, I've heard this quiet still voice tell me, "Don't worry--you're good, I've got this." And this weekend it was like, "IN CASE YOU DIDNT HEAR ME BEFORE LET ME TELL YOU AGAIN---I'VE GOT THIS!!! JUST BE!"

Just be. Okay. I think I can do that. Maybe. I can try...

And I will. Try. To let go and let God. Again.  Whatever He wants is fine with me. Truly this time. If I'm to serve Him where I am, I will. If I am to go to Rwanda and plant crops, I will. If I am to remarry, I trust He already has someone picked out for me that is everything I ever wanted and more. If I'm to be alone and (gasp, choke, cough) celibate, focused ONLY on serving Him, okay.

Really, Lord. Just direct my steps. And scream loudly!

There are so many more thoughts and points I will make later but for now...it's just WOW!

Random Thought Thursday

There is not a female singer/rock star more awesome than Pink!!!

I wonder just exactly HOW much my car insurance is going to go up...with a new teenager driver...on a Mustang...Convertible!

How is it we can see exactly what others should do in certain situations but are so blind when it comes to our own?

Why do we obsess over certain things/people/relationships and not others? This isn't such a random thought. I probably should blog more on this because it doesn't make sense to me why some things bother me and others don't...no sense at all. But I can't think about that today. I will think about that tomorrow! Ha!

All of life's problems should hit us when we are teenagers and know EVERYTHING!

Timing...it really is everything!

I do believe dreams have meaning. And I've had some doozies lately.

I'm so glad nerdy guys are starting to appeal to me (Big Bang Theory)...maybe the douchebag magnet deep inside me is starting to lose its strength!

I have learned to hold my breath for really long periods of time now...every time Kayti leaves the house driving without me!

I am really excited about the reCreate Women's conference this weekend at my awesome church--Church of the Highlands!

I am really missing my friends--haven't hung out with them in a while and I need my girl time! Maybe next weekend?

Kinda wishing I could find someone to go to the Shrimp Festival with us and split the cost of my hotel room...but SUPER excited about going!

Debating whether or not I should buy my own camping equipment or borrow the ex's for Halloween weekend...if he'll even let me!

I confess, I miss Facebook...just a little.

I am having a difficult time navigating Twitter but it's a distraction...which I didn't need but did want.

I have great taste, I just don't have the money to prove it! LOL

Blessings!

Wordless Wednesday

One week and counting...

It's been one week since I've been on Facebook! I honestly can't believe I made it this long but it really hasn't been too bad. I miss conversing on a daily basis with some people but honestly, they know how to get me if they really wanted to chat so...

A few have contacted me to find out how I am, what's going on, why I left, etc. That's how you find out who your friends are!

As far as WHY I left...well I always said that when it got to be more nuisance and burdensome or harmful than productive and conducive to a healthy lifestyle then I would leave. It finally came to that point. I was spending way too much time on it, worrying about every little thing I said, whether it was going to get me in trouble or piss somebody off. That's not me.

Quite frankly, I'm tired of worrying about people getting their panties in a wad over stupid stuff like football trash talk. Grow up already. If you can't handle it, don't be a fan. And don't even think you are somehow "classier". Some people can handle it, some can't. And don't think that it doesn't happen on BOTH sides. I just got tired of constantly seeing the ones who can overlook it on their side but constantly call the other side out, acting like a little stepchild over it. Give me a break.

But that's really only a small part of it. I need to focus on myself right now. I'm trying to accomplish a few things professionally, grow closer to God, refinish some furniture, work on my writin,  perhaps look for a new apartment...every minute I spend on Facebook is a minute I'm not doing something else I should be.

And I really took the plunge...I deleted the app from my phone and scheduled my account for deletion! They say it takes 21 days to break a habit...14 more days to go!

Soccer season...

My little soccer star is not enjoying this season. She's not fond of her coach or many of her team members and that breaks my heart. She so enjoyed the Spring season and Coach Shaun and to follow that with this is disappointing. I myself do not enjoy some of the parents...ugh! Soccer people! I don't understand much of soccer aside from kick the ball into the net so I cheer my daughter "Go Brooke" and keep my mouth shut for the most part. I wish some parents would follow suit because even in my limited knowledge it's obvious to me they know even less but don't mind sharing that they know so little with everyone in the park if you get my meaning! Then there are the parents who think their kid will be the next Mia Hamm or David Beckham or that they are cheering a football game! Really, people, it's JUST SOCCER, it's a REC LEAGUE, not a competitive league and your kid ain't all that! And of course you have the soccer snobs that don't realize this IS football season! lol Why can't we play our games in the morning before games come on? Hey, if you don't care about football, it IS cooler in the mornings, think of that! But no, it's like they are trying to make a point or something. Just annoying. But I digress...my daughter loves it, she's good at it so I told her just to enjoy playing and work on her own skills. If her team members can't cooperate then there's always next season. I will continue to sit away from people and keep my mouth shut (but I will vent here from time to time! lol) More pictures:

Thankful Thursday

Today, September 20, 2012, I am thankful for... The Nick Saban Show playing while I watch my daughter practice soccer. For that matter, I am thankful for Nick Saban! RTR I am thankful for Pinterest for inspiring me to recycle my old Fall decorations in new ways! I am thankful for my coworker, Lara! She makes me laugh, listens to me vent, "gets" me and just makes my job that much more enjoyable! I am thankful for each of the little ones in my class. Though some days they are absolute handfuls, they are also very precious to me in so many ways! I am thankful for the wonderful group of ladies in my Church of the Highlands Small Group! We laugh and talk and pray and I am so blessed every week to spend time in the Word with them. And as always, I am thankful for my three precious children, wonderful friends and family and the love and grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Soccer pictures

Yes, our "Liverpool" Soccer team has its very own photographer and judging from the shots he got of Brooke this past weekend, I won't even waste my time trying to take pictures with my cell phone! Photograpy...one hobby I never have been able to pursue. But oh well!

Hope you enjoy these of my soccer star! (She's #3, btw!)

Sunday afternoon rituals

So I'm sitting here watching Sex and the City, one of my Sunday afternon rituals. Okay actually, it's a ritual whenever it comes on. I'm totally into this show. That's something I've learned about myself in the past year--I discover and fall in love with shows about a decade after they are cancelled, or at least a few seasons into their life! I didn't have HBO when this show came out or was popular and at the time, I had small children and was married. I had NOTHING in common with the characters and though I still don't fit in with their desire for fashion or shoes but I find the relationship humor, even after a decade, RIGHT ON THE MARK! It's both therapy and relaxation at the same time! Plus my vocabulary has now expanded to include such words as "Manolo Blahnik", "Jimmy Choo", "Vivian Westlake", "Dolce and Gabana" and many others. :)

I'm also lounging around the house, telling myself and anyone who asks that I'm taking the day of Sabbath seriously--I'm resting! Though I should have gotten my fat butt up this morning and went to worship with my brothers and sisters at Church of the Highlands. I always rationalize my desire to sleep late on Sundays with the fact that my church DOES broadcast online and even archives the messages. But honestly, I hardly ever watch when I tell myself I will and I feel badly about that! I DO need to be a better Christian. I need to be in the Word more and live like I should. I don't necessarily see anything wrong with anything I'm doing. I haven't been "convicted" about my occasional cocktails, humor or anything else. I just know I need to make it more of a priority. Just like everything else that I need to be doing in my life.

Exercise would be another example of that. Most of the time, I feel like I don't have the energy. But really it's just laziness. Yes, my knees hurt a lot but I know that once I get moving the exercise actually helps. It's just the getting moving part that is the problem.

And all my little projects...I pin and pin on Pinterest but I haven't even started anything in a long time, let alone completed something. Until today.



I rescued this from a classroom where I work. It is an old console tv with the tv knocked out of course. It was being used as a puppet theatre for 2 year olds. I do not know who came up with the color scheme because even as a puppet theatre the colors are hideous. But I saw on Pinerest where an old console tv had been upcycled into a tv/dvd stand and that is my plan. I started sanding it today, even though I haven't exactly decided what color to paint it. A shelf will be added in the center for the calbe box, dvd player and other items and the tv will sit on top. I hope it turns out like it's supposed to.

One thing I DID manage to get done this week was my new haircut.



I keep trying to let it grow but it gets to a point where I just can't do anything with it so I went to Katie and as usual, she worked her magic. I love it.

Brooke started soccer again and they had their first game yesterday in Hoover. That was quite an ordeal finding the field and I'm usually not directionally challenged but I was already stressed for some reason and the trip over just made it worse. We finally made it there with the help of the ex and she played well, though they did not win.

I've spent a lot of today on facebook and that is one thing I have GOT to stop. It really does steal a lot of my time. Though I like keeping up with the kids and friends, I get caught up in the games and then I will comment on a post or two or make a comment myself and it gets taken the wrong way, someone gets pissed off and I find myself with less friends. Granted, most are not the friends I care anything about keeping anyway. But I'm afraid of a trend here. So I'm cutting my losses. I have my blog, Pinterest, and I need to spend time in the Word, working on my writing and taking care of my body. I always said the when the cons far outweigh the pros, I would be gone and it's taken me awhile to get to that point, even though it was a tool in the destruction of my marriage, but I have finally arrived.

I know it won't be easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is. The ones that want to stay a part of my life will find a way to do that. I'm not dropping off the face of the earth. Just channeling my energy into more productive avenues (I hope!).

So if you're reading this, please pray that I will have the courage of conviction and the strength to follow through.

On that note, I will leave you with some pictures of me and some sweet faces:




This is Riley, one of my favorites. She happens to be the daughter of a high school friend and I have fallen completely in love with her. She is so sweet!




And this is my Bell boy! lol Actually, Andrew. He is the youngest of the three kids I take care of in the mornings every other week and also in my class. He is smart, funny and cute as a button!

And that's another thing I need to concentrate on--my little ones! I love being a teacher and it's time that got more of my attention as well!

Everyone have a blessed week!

Bucket List--one down, a million to go!

Last Sunday, me, Dede and Frances FINALLY went white water rafting--or weight water lifting, as Hayden put it--on the Ocoee!

Dede bought tickets back in April for my birthday but every time we planned to go, something kept coming up. We finally decided we HAD to just go before the tickets expired and fortunately for us, Frances has moved back to the 'ham so she decided to tag along with us.

I wasn't scared of the rafting itself. I started to get a little nervous when he started going through the commands--one in particular: hit the deck. That is when everyone drops to their knees in the bottom of the raft as we go over a rough rapid. That one made me a little nervous because of my weak knees. But "oh well" I thought. I'm here now. I either do it, endure the pain and risk falling in the river or back out and admit I'm getting too old and too fragile for strenuous activity. Ha! You guys know me. The latter is NOT going to happen ANYTIME soon! So I sucked it up and got in the boat!

At the first "hit the deck", I hit the deck. It did not hurt. It was not even uncomfortable. Now, getting back up--that was a little hard but luckily I didn't have far to pick my fat ass up and scoot over to the edge of the boat! Maybe I wasn't the most graceful rafter ever but I don't think anyone was studying me. Everyone was too busy studying the other woman--an experienced rafter--that had fallen out of the boat and lost her paddle! Bwahahahaha

Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't laugh at the time but I did after we got back because it wasn't the only time she went over or lost her paddle. In fact, it got to be a little irritating after awhile.

Dede and Frances did not fall out or lose their paddles either. We had AMAZING fun! We even hopped in and swam for a bit. We absolutely loved every minute of it and cannot wait to go back again!

And as much as we rowed and as much kneeling and up and down as I had to do, I was not even sore the next day. So...I'm NOT as in bad of shape as I thought! Other adventures, here I come!!!!