Yikes! In my ambition this summer to get as much planning done as possible, I think I overdid it! We are having to scale back some as the girls are finding themselves too stressed to finished many of their assignments.
So instead of having an art assignment every day, we've scaled that back to once a week or once every two weeks. When I thought about it, I realized that most kids in public school (unless they are in middle or high school and take it as a subject) only do art once a week anyway. So I don't know why I thought they needed it daily.
Our Spiritual Studies course turned out to be a little too ambitious. I've decided to put off reading through the four gospels, the character trait study and the study of organized religions until this summer or next year. Right now, they will continue to read through Beautiful Girlhood and do the study guides for that.
I'm at a stop on Brooke's math progression. She's getting the hang of division so we attempted last week to move on to two digit divisors but I cannot for the life of me explain it to her. I may have to bring brother in on this one!
Kayti has plateaued with Great Expectations. She just cannot get into it and I can't decide whether to make her finish it or not. She DID, however, make the A honor roll in her CORE classes--Greek & Roman History and Pre-Algebra. I am very proud of her!
Brooke goes back and forth about what to do next year. She sort of wants to go back to public school (I am not really wanting her to) and wanting to do CORE. Right now, she is leaning toward CORE.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Yes, it's been awhile....
And I don't know exactly how long this "blog update" will get. I'm just going to type what God puts on my heart to say and share.
First and foremost--thank you all so much for your prayers! They have indeed been felt and have helped so much. However, when Christians start fighting back the devil, he just seems to want to work overtime instead of moving onto something else so please, for now, keep 'em coming!
It has been a VERY difficult month for me. Dylan's truck was stolen, most of you know that. Well, it's been found but lost again. We'd never gotten ownership changed over because we'd only had it for 3 weeks when it was stolen and part of that time it wasn't running and then there was the whole Jefferson County layoff fiasco and neither Jeff nor I had time to stand in line for 4+ hours to get it taken care of. We had the bill of sale so we weren't particularly worried about it. Then it broke down on the side of 459 and within 1 hour (I'm not kidding) it was gone! Finally, last week, the previous owner called us to let us know that Jefferson County had contacted him to let him know that it had been found--not far from where it broke down. But now every time we try to find out where it's being held in impound, we get the run around and no one claims to know anything about it! Ugh! Beauracracy! We don't know anything about the condition of it for certain so we won't know if it's salvageable until we can get someone to tell us where it is and we can go have a look at it.
Things at work have continued to be tense among management and teachers and among and between teachers ourselves with people getting fired, changes being made, etc. and just when I was starting to allow myself to feel a little bit at peace with things--I was accused of spanking a child! Of course I did NOT spank that child but the mother, another teacher, is choosing to believe her three year-old child and when my boss wouldn't fire me on the word of a 3 year-old, she quit. She has not asked me about it or said two words to me and I am very upset about that. For one thing, I am so unbelievably tired of people who claim to be Christians and yet they don't act biblically. The Bible clearly says in Matthew 18--if you have a problem with a brother or sister, go to them FIRST! But then again, that problem seems pretty widespread these days so I'm not really surprised. For another thing, to even be accused of such a thing just tears at my soul. I love all these kids and though she is not even in my class I have loved on her and extended my heart and hands to her as much as any child who is in my class. And finally, if I can survive the summer with Reni (a VERY wild and out-of-control child) and not beat the total CRAP out of that kid, NO ONE has to worry about me hitting their kid. It would not even occur to me to have that as an option. I don't even spank my own kids as much as I probably should!
I am very thankful that administration and everyone else that I've talked to that knows anything about it believes me. But to even have the accusation out there it's like a dark cloud hanging over me that may never go away. I've done the only thing I can do--pray about it and ask God to take care of it.
Though it has been a difficult time, it has not been without it's many blessings amidst the chaos!
1) Jeff is finally back on full-time! So we've started chipping away at this mountain of debt we now have! Please pray for patience from our creditors and for us to be diligent, frugal and good stewards.
2) My sister is having a boy!
Just look at that big grin on my brother-in-law's face. He only THOUGHT he wanted a girl! lol (and just ignore the Auburn attire--he is a poor misguided soul and we are ministering to him as best we can!)
We are beyond excited over here! I cannot wait for another little man!
3) Jeff's grandparents celebrated 70 years of marriage this weekend! We had a huge dinner at their house with all the family and we had a great time. As soon as I recharge my camera batteries and get those photos uploaded, I will share them. Can you believe 70 years? That is AMAZING!! I LOVE his grandparents. You never met two more genuine Christian souls in your life.
4) I finished three amazing books including the latest installment in the Yada Yada House of Hope series. I SO want to start a prayer group of my own! Anyone interested? LOL
5) I continue to be blessed daily as a teacher. I cannot thank God enough for the class He gave me this year. They are the best kids and have the best parents! I love, love, love them!
6) Alabama is undefeated! Yeah, baby!
7) I reestablished contact with one of my siblings via my sperm-donor father--my sister, Misti! I met her for the first time since we were little about 10 years ago and felt an instant bond with her. Sadly, we lost touch again but we found each other again thanks to amazing new thing called Facebook! If you're not on it, you should be. I resisted the temptation for a long time because I had the impression that it was just another Myspace and that experience left such a bad taste in my mouth. But it's not like Myspace at all. I love it, now that I'm used to it! Misti and I have SO much in common. We are both mothers, with three children. We both teach preschool, we are both writers and we are both Christian women struggling with the same issues of faith! We made a promise to pray and ask God for a renewed committment to each other and for Him to make us better in the areas we need to be.
8) Kayti made the A honor roll at CORE and made an A in algebra! She really struggles with Math so this is an amazing accomplishment for her! I'm so proud!
9) I can tell that Brooke is TRYING to improve her attitude/behavior. When it's just me and her, we have a fabulous time. She's a huge help on the days she goes to work with me and I love watching her interact with her friends. She is so happy and outgoing.
10) We are going camping for Halloween weekend! We are not rich people (obviously) and will be doing it primitive style but we love spending time together outdoors. I do pray it warms up just a LITTLE bit, though! LOL
Praise be to God for all things big and small!
First and foremost--thank you all so much for your prayers! They have indeed been felt and have helped so much. However, when Christians start fighting back the devil, he just seems to want to work overtime instead of moving onto something else so please, for now, keep 'em coming!
It has been a VERY difficult month for me. Dylan's truck was stolen, most of you know that. Well, it's been found but lost again. We'd never gotten ownership changed over because we'd only had it for 3 weeks when it was stolen and part of that time it wasn't running and then there was the whole Jefferson County layoff fiasco and neither Jeff nor I had time to stand in line for 4+ hours to get it taken care of. We had the bill of sale so we weren't particularly worried about it. Then it broke down on the side of 459 and within 1 hour (I'm not kidding) it was gone! Finally, last week, the previous owner called us to let us know that Jefferson County had contacted him to let him know that it had been found--not far from where it broke down. But now every time we try to find out where it's being held in impound, we get the run around and no one claims to know anything about it! Ugh! Beauracracy! We don't know anything about the condition of it for certain so we won't know if it's salvageable until we can get someone to tell us where it is and we can go have a look at it.
Things at work have continued to be tense among management and teachers and among and between teachers ourselves with people getting fired, changes being made, etc. and just when I was starting to allow myself to feel a little bit at peace with things--I was accused of spanking a child! Of course I did NOT spank that child but the mother, another teacher, is choosing to believe her three year-old child and when my boss wouldn't fire me on the word of a 3 year-old, she quit. She has not asked me about it or said two words to me and I am very upset about that. For one thing, I am so unbelievably tired of people who claim to be Christians and yet they don't act biblically. The Bible clearly says in Matthew 18--if you have a problem with a brother or sister, go to them FIRST! But then again, that problem seems pretty widespread these days so I'm not really surprised. For another thing, to even be accused of such a thing just tears at my soul. I love all these kids and though she is not even in my class I have loved on her and extended my heart and hands to her as much as any child who is in my class. And finally, if I can survive the summer with Reni (a VERY wild and out-of-control child) and not beat the total CRAP out of that kid, NO ONE has to worry about me hitting their kid. It would not even occur to me to have that as an option. I don't even spank my own kids as much as I probably should!
I am very thankful that administration and everyone else that I've talked to that knows anything about it believes me. But to even have the accusation out there it's like a dark cloud hanging over me that may never go away. I've done the only thing I can do--pray about it and ask God to take care of it.
Though it has been a difficult time, it has not been without it's many blessings amidst the chaos!
1) Jeff is finally back on full-time! So we've started chipping away at this mountain of debt we now have! Please pray for patience from our creditors and for us to be diligent, frugal and good stewards.
2) My sister is having a boy!
Just look at that big grin on my brother-in-law's face. He only THOUGHT he wanted a girl! lol (and just ignore the Auburn attire--he is a poor misguided soul and we are ministering to him as best we can!)
We are beyond excited over here! I cannot wait for another little man!
3) Jeff's grandparents celebrated 70 years of marriage this weekend! We had a huge dinner at their house with all the family and we had a great time. As soon as I recharge my camera batteries and get those photos uploaded, I will share them. Can you believe 70 years? That is AMAZING!! I LOVE his grandparents. You never met two more genuine Christian souls in your life.
4) I finished three amazing books including the latest installment in the Yada Yada House of Hope series. I SO want to start a prayer group of my own! Anyone interested? LOL
5) I continue to be blessed daily as a teacher. I cannot thank God enough for the class He gave me this year. They are the best kids and have the best parents! I love, love, love them!
6) Alabama is undefeated! Yeah, baby!
7) I reestablished contact with one of my siblings via my sperm-donor father--my sister, Misti! I met her for the first time since we were little about 10 years ago and felt an instant bond with her. Sadly, we lost touch again but we found each other again thanks to amazing new thing called Facebook! If you're not on it, you should be. I resisted the temptation for a long time because I had the impression that it was just another Myspace and that experience left such a bad taste in my mouth. But it's not like Myspace at all. I love it, now that I'm used to it! Misti and I have SO much in common. We are both mothers, with three children. We both teach preschool, we are both writers and we are both Christian women struggling with the same issues of faith! We made a promise to pray and ask God for a renewed committment to each other and for Him to make us better in the areas we need to be.
8) Kayti made the A honor roll at CORE and made an A in algebra! She really struggles with Math so this is an amazing accomplishment for her! I'm so proud!
9) I can tell that Brooke is TRYING to improve her attitude/behavior. When it's just me and her, we have a fabulous time. She's a huge help on the days she goes to work with me and I love watching her interact with her friends. She is so happy and outgoing.
10) We are going camping for Halloween weekend! We are not rich people (obviously) and will be doing it primitive style but we love spending time together outdoors. I do pray it warms up just a LITTLE bit, though! LOL
Praise be to God for all things big and small!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
from September 20, 2009
I don't even know where to begin...
I feel sometimes like my life is just spiraling out of control. I definitely am not where I pictured myself 20 years ago as I prepared to take my wedding vows. Coming up on our 20th wedding anniversary has made me reflect a lot. I'm trying to focus on all the blessings we have enjoyed instead of all the heartache. But when you've had lots of heartache lately, it's hard to do.
I accidentally got off my medicine again. I didn't mean to. I just ran out and didn't get the chance and the money to get it refilled at the same time until yesterday. I, as well as everyone around me, can definitely tell a difference.
But it's with these major mood swings, rage and anxiety that I've had to endure even MORE drama at work--Veletta (asst. mgr and event coordinator--only 1 left that was part of "Donna's team" quit (I don't know the facts or the details, just a bunch of gossip that I'm not going to even bother to repeat even though this blog is still private and only a handful of close friends even see it. It's just not worth going into--trust me.) and tension at work has been high once again with some of the parents and teachers. I try to do what Donna N does--stay in my own little bubble and not get involved!
Monday, Dylan's truck was stolen. Needless to say, he is devastated and I am heartbroken for him. I know what it feels like--I had a car stolen when I was a teen, too. We only carried liability on it so he is out all the money that he worked all summer for and we are in no position really to help him get anything else. It seems like the harder we battle back from this deep black hole, the further we get pushed down into it. I know God didn't do this but I can't help but wish sometimes He'd supernaturally help me out a little! I know he's there to comfort me but I want more than comfort sometimes! It's not fair that a perfect kid like him--never gives us any trouble, makes super-excellent grades, is super-smart, works hard has to have this happen to him while other teenage brats get everything handed to them. I have to remind myself that the Bible doesn't say one word about being "fair"--it's something I tell my girls all the time. But it still sucks!
Still no word from Hardie Tynes on when they are going to put everyone back on full-time and that is still causing a lot of tension with me and Jeff.
My prayer life is suffering because I just don't have the energy to get down on my knees anymore and that's probably a LOT of my problem. And it probably has something to do with my medication, too. I KNOW in my head I need to MAKE the time and muster up the energy to focus my attention on God--that's probably why all this is happening. But it's hard to do when I'm so angry and depressed all the time.
We need to get back in church somewhere but I'm TIRED of being the spiritual leader in my own home. Sometimes I want someone else to lead but no one is going to.
I'm TIRED of being the one that has to initiate taking care of everything for everybody.
I'm just plain TIRED! And the more I try to rest, the more tired I am. And now I'm not sure what part of this is me and what part of this is the lack of med! Ugh! I just want to scream!
There is so much I want and want to do--not just for me and my family--but for others and I can't focus my attention on anything else right now but what I'm lacking. And I envy those that can and do have the life they want. That is so pitiful and it makes me hate myself for feeling this way.
I don't even feel I'm writing coherently right now so I'll just quit.
I feel sometimes like my life is just spiraling out of control. I definitely am not where I pictured myself 20 years ago as I prepared to take my wedding vows. Coming up on our 20th wedding anniversary has made me reflect a lot. I'm trying to focus on all the blessings we have enjoyed instead of all the heartache. But when you've had lots of heartache lately, it's hard to do.
I accidentally got off my medicine again. I didn't mean to. I just ran out and didn't get the chance and the money to get it refilled at the same time until yesterday. I, as well as everyone around me, can definitely tell a difference.
But it's with these major mood swings, rage and anxiety that I've had to endure even MORE drama at work--Veletta (asst. mgr and event coordinator--only 1 left that was part of "Donna's team" quit (I don't know the facts or the details, just a bunch of gossip that I'm not going to even bother to repeat even though this blog is still private and only a handful of close friends even see it. It's just not worth going into--trust me.) and tension at work has been high once again with some of the parents and teachers. I try to do what Donna N does--stay in my own little bubble and not get involved!
Monday, Dylan's truck was stolen. Needless to say, he is devastated and I am heartbroken for him. I know what it feels like--I had a car stolen when I was a teen, too. We only carried liability on it so he is out all the money that he worked all summer for and we are in no position really to help him get anything else. It seems like the harder we battle back from this deep black hole, the further we get pushed down into it. I know God didn't do this but I can't help but wish sometimes He'd supernaturally help me out a little! I know he's there to comfort me but I want more than comfort sometimes! It's not fair that a perfect kid like him--never gives us any trouble, makes super-excellent grades, is super-smart, works hard has to have this happen to him while other teenage brats get everything handed to them. I have to remind myself that the Bible doesn't say one word about being "fair"--it's something I tell my girls all the time. But it still sucks!
Still no word from Hardie Tynes on when they are going to put everyone back on full-time and that is still causing a lot of tension with me and Jeff.
My prayer life is suffering because I just don't have the energy to get down on my knees anymore and that's probably a LOT of my problem. And it probably has something to do with my medication, too. I KNOW in my head I need to MAKE the time and muster up the energy to focus my attention on God--that's probably why all this is happening. But it's hard to do when I'm so angry and depressed all the time.
We need to get back in church somewhere but I'm TIRED of being the spiritual leader in my own home. Sometimes I want someone else to lead but no one is going to.
I'm TIRED of being the one that has to initiate taking care of everything for everybody.
I'm just plain TIRED! And the more I try to rest, the more tired I am. And now I'm not sure what part of this is me and what part of this is the lack of med! Ugh! I just want to scream!
There is so much I want and want to do--not just for me and my family--but for others and I can't focus my attention on anything else right now but what I'm lacking. And I envy those that can and do have the life they want. That is so pitiful and it makes me hate myself for feeling this way.
I don't even feel I'm writing coherently right now so I'll just quit.
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