The Duggars: 20 and Counting!
I'll be honest. When I first heard about this family several years ago, I thought the same thing as everyone else--they must be nuts!! But after a few years of watching them on Discovery and TLC, I have fallen completely in love! And everyone is entitled to their own opinion about having lots of children. But I believe they have more business having 20+ kids than some people in this world have even having ONE kid! I love Michelle Duggar's (and hey, she's got my name, that's in her favor!) sweet spirit. How I wish I'd been blessed with such a disposition.
A lot of what's in the book is repetitive of what you would learn from their shows. But there is a lot more detail about how things were when they were first married, more from their own childhoods and where they've learned the various things they practice today--spirituality, frugality, etc. I love hearing other people's stories, particularly what makes them who they are. I find it gives me a much deeper appreciation for the vast differences there are among us all. And I always try to take something away from each person's story to incorporate into making myself a better person and believe me, I found a LOT in this book to take!
I don't pretend to believe that our family would ever completely mirror theirs (or any other family) nor would we want to (no insult intended) But they definitely have some great ideas and some fresh approaches to accomplishing harmony in the home. Actually, it's probably NOT fresh. They get a lot of what they do from the Bible. It just seems fresh because most of us--even those of us who love the Lord--don't or are not always successful in putting those concepts into practice.
One thing that really struck me was their belief about obedience. This is definitely something I have had difficulty with in my lifetime--being obedient to my parents and being obedient to God and I think it's something a lot of people struggle with. We are born wanting to do what we want to do and we don't always understand that sometimes, what we want isn't what's best for us or that the world doesn't revolve around us (shocking, isn't it?) If we're smart, we learn early that obedience brings about many blessings. I'm obviously not very smart. That's not to say that I haven't been blessed. I have been blessed far beyond what I deserve. but I can definitely look back and see that I have missed out on a lot of what God had for me because I refused to heed Him. I don't spend a lot of time looking back though. It's pointless. Id' rather concentrate on using what I have learned to press on. I just pray that my kids don't have to learn this the hard way like I did! That is why we are going to try and incorporate some of the methods I learned in this book to try and emphasize obedience to our children. Now, it's not like I've let them run buck wild up until this point. But it's always been more of a "do what I say because I'm the mom" kind of thing without rhyme or reason. We are going to break it down further and discuss more instead of having everything be either totally lax or totally authoritarian. We are going to discuss the four points of complete obedience--instant, cheerful, thorough, and unconditional. We've already begun having some great discussions and teachable moments.
We've also come up with a baseline of family goals, though when we have this discussion I'm sure the kids will probably have some to add. I call them goals instead of rules because to me, the word "rules" just seems to set us up for failure. And we will fail. Even Jeff and I do not behave appropriately 100% of the time because we, too, are fallible human beings. But we can still have GOALS--something to strive for. much of what I've come up with so far is common sense. But the wording I did get from the Duggars and it seems more positive than "Do this, not this or don't do this" and I've long been a fan of positive discipline and positive attitudes, my whole life really (why dwell on the bad? I just don't get pessimistic people!) but particularly since I read Karol Ladd's book, The Power of a Positive Mom years ago.
Also included in this wonderful book, as I alluded to earlier, are tips on being frugal including many wonderful frugal recipes. I have copied a few to try but of course, my rule is they don't become part of my "collection" until they have been "tried and true" by us personally. So check back in my cooking blog later to see what's been added.
And for us homeschoolers, Michelle has included many of her homeschooling resources and character training tools. Many look very interesting and I'm in the process of checking those out myself and just like with the recipes, if I find anything I plan to use, I'll be sure and share it with you.
I definitely recommend this book, even if you, like I used to, think they are "nuts". I'm positive you will find it a great read and hopefully you'll be able to take something away from it for yourself just as I did.
Blessings,
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