Lord Jesus,
I just praise you for all that you've done in my life. I so do not deserve any of it nor do I deserve the things I'm about to ask. Please know I do recognize you at work in my life. You've saved me time and time again from my own self, from the messes I create and it frustrates me that I can never do anything to deserve the blessings I've been given. I know that's what grace is all about but the whole concept of it just is so overwhelming that I could be looked at and loved by you....it just blows me away.
You know my heart, Lord. You know I desire for my family to REALLY be on fire for You, Jesus. We've dropped out of church because we were hurt by others--sinners, just like us and we can't seem to find our way back. I try and I try to let go, to forgive, to move on and I just seem to keep getting in my own way. I want to submit to my husband, Lord but he won't lead! Someone has to take charge around here! I try to be patient and wait for you to speak to his heart and I beg your forgiveness that I'm so impatient. My heart screams like a child wanting something NOW NOW NOW! Lord help me remember that you are a loving parent to your daughter and that you always have my best interest at heart and that for now it is your will for me to "wait".
You know I fall short in so many ways of modeling a godly woman for my children. I confess to being double minded sometimes and don't try hard enough to live in this world without being of it.
We have not been responsible with the things you've given us and now we are struggling once again. I'm frustrated that it seems we have so little when we don't even want a whole lot to begin with. I just want to be able to homeschool and be there for my family while my bills get paid on time, to be able to tithe like we're supposed to, give generously to others and have a little left over to have a little fun. I know this is so selfish because there are so many going to bed without anything to eat and we do have full bellies. Lord help me to fully trust you and help my husband to realize how blessed we are, too. Sometimes it wears on me trying to stay upbeat and optimistic and get him to be that way when I'm scared myself.
And Lord, I don't know how to witness to my extended family anymore. I love them dearly. Please show me how to get them to know you like I do without it sounding like I'm judging them because you know I'm not, Lord. You see all of us sinners, your children, the same just as I love all of my own children the same, no matter what they do.
Forgive me, your humble daughter and show me the way!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Week of October 15-19, 2007
Same ol' same ol'
Last Monday, we had a few prayers answered and things are looking up a bit now. Though I'm always content, it's hard to maintain a spirit of contentment when everyone around you is stressed out. Anyway...
I did get a good start on the girls play costumes though I'm not finished. Dylan signed up for wrestling. I'm taking a 'wait and see' attitude on it. I'm not thrilled about it but he'll probably be okay. I read through the information and they seem to keep a better eye on athletes' weight, etc. than they did in Jeff's day.
We did not get to do Race for the Cure but many of my in-laws did. Hopefully, Brooke will get to do the Maple Leaf Run this weekend. My mother-in-law says I did not miss anything and that the Race for the Cure is getting too big--too many people. There is no history of breast cancer in my family but other types of cancer, yes. I have also known a few people that have had it and having nursed three babies and married a confirmed "boob man", this is a cause I do care about!
Monday was Amelia Woo day at Chic Fil A in Trussville and the girls and I worked a few hours. At last count, they had collected a substantial amount to help with her treatments. Her aunt was very excited and touched as was the manager. Such a beautiful young lady, Amelia is, it's a terrible tragedy. It makes me nervous for Dylan to get his permit next month, there are so many young people getting in serious accidents around here. Don't think I won't be praying hard!
Today was the sock hop and Brooke had a ball! I am posting pictures to our homeschool blog. But she won the hula hoop contest, she danced and had a great time. Things did not go so well for my "middle child". She got frustrated because she couldn't hula hoop very well and things went downhill from there for her. Please pray for my sweet daughter. I don't know why she can't be confident and satisfied and why she always seems to make things worse than they are for herself. I try so hard to encourage her but it never seems to be enough.
What I'm Reading This Week
This one I have actually already finished! I don't know what it is about these books (the Yada Yada series) but I have found them to be more helpful and more uplifting than any sermon I've ever heard. Sadly, this is the last book in the series but the author, Neta Jackson, is already hard at work on another series due to debut in 2009. Hurry, Neta!! I'm looking forward to it!
I'm sure I'm not unique in that I take my role as a mom very seriously. I know I'm not perfect by any means and as such, I'm always looking for insight, advice, etc. My own mother has been an invaluable source of information, strength and encouragement to me for the last 15 years and I'm thankful to have her. She is by far my "parenting guru". Of course, all wisdom and strength comes from THE parent, our heavenly Father. And I'm so thankful when he leads me to other Christian women like Lisa Whelchel, Karol Ladd and Vicki Courtney. I'm about halfway through with Your Boy and I already feel an intense kinship with the author. The way she described her feelings after giving birth to her firstborn son is EXACTLY the way I felt when Dylan was born. And yet I laugh when I learn that I am not the only mom who embarasses her son by cheering him on in the different areas of his life. I think that's in our job description, right? Anyway, I'm learning so much and highly recommend this read for all mothers of boys regardless of their age.
What God is Teaching me
God has been silent this past week and I hate when He does that! LOL I've been praying hard for so many things this week and I don't seem to be getting answers (unless it's "no" or "wait", which apparently it is!) and I keep giving myself pep talks. "Keep trusting. He has promised to never leave nor forsake you." So I'm holding onto that right now. During our Bible study this week, the girls and I read about Jesus going into the wilderness for 40 days and being tempted by Satan when He was at His weakest. I've heard the story before but when I read it this time, my blood ran cold. Waiting on answers, I've been so tempted to take matters into my own hands. I am so glad I resisted that temptation. That is no credit to me, however, because it is only through Him that I was strong. Without Him, I most definitely am nothing. So I continue to wait for the Lord.
Last Monday, we had a few prayers answered and things are looking up a bit now. Though I'm always content, it's hard to maintain a spirit of contentment when everyone around you is stressed out. Anyway...
I did get a good start on the girls play costumes though I'm not finished. Dylan signed up for wrestling. I'm taking a 'wait and see' attitude on it. I'm not thrilled about it but he'll probably be okay. I read through the information and they seem to keep a better eye on athletes' weight, etc. than they did in Jeff's day.
We did not get to do Race for the Cure but many of my in-laws did. Hopefully, Brooke will get to do the Maple Leaf Run this weekend. My mother-in-law says I did not miss anything and that the Race for the Cure is getting too big--too many people. There is no history of breast cancer in my family but other types of cancer, yes. I have also known a few people that have had it and having nursed three babies and married a confirmed "boob man", this is a cause I do care about!
Monday was Amelia Woo day at Chic Fil A in Trussville and the girls and I worked a few hours. At last count, they had collected a substantial amount to help with her treatments. Her aunt was very excited and touched as was the manager. Such a beautiful young lady, Amelia is, it's a terrible tragedy. It makes me nervous for Dylan to get his permit next month, there are so many young people getting in serious accidents around here. Don't think I won't be praying hard!
Today was the sock hop and Brooke had a ball! I am posting pictures to our homeschool blog. But she won the hula hoop contest, she danced and had a great time. Things did not go so well for my "middle child". She got frustrated because she couldn't hula hoop very well and things went downhill from there for her. Please pray for my sweet daughter. I don't know why she can't be confident and satisfied and why she always seems to make things worse than they are for herself. I try so hard to encourage her but it never seems to be enough.
What I'm Reading This Week
This one I have actually already finished! I don't know what it is about these books (the Yada Yada series) but I have found them to be more helpful and more uplifting than any sermon I've ever heard. Sadly, this is the last book in the series but the author, Neta Jackson, is already hard at work on another series due to debut in 2009. Hurry, Neta!! I'm looking forward to it!
I'm sure I'm not unique in that I take my role as a mom very seriously. I know I'm not perfect by any means and as such, I'm always looking for insight, advice, etc. My own mother has been an invaluable source of information, strength and encouragement to me for the last 15 years and I'm thankful to have her. She is by far my "parenting guru". Of course, all wisdom and strength comes from THE parent, our heavenly Father. And I'm so thankful when he leads me to other Christian women like Lisa Whelchel, Karol Ladd and Vicki Courtney. I'm about halfway through with Your Boy and I already feel an intense kinship with the author. The way she described her feelings after giving birth to her firstborn son is EXACTLY the way I felt when Dylan was born. And yet I laugh when I learn that I am not the only mom who embarasses her son by cheering him on in the different areas of his life. I think that's in our job description, right? Anyway, I'm learning so much and highly recommend this read for all mothers of boys regardless of their age.
What God is Teaching me
God has been silent this past week and I hate when He does that! LOL I've been praying hard for so many things this week and I don't seem to be getting answers (unless it's "no" or "wait", which apparently it is!) and I keep giving myself pep talks. "Keep trusting. He has promised to never leave nor forsake you." So I'm holding onto that right now. During our Bible study this week, the girls and I read about Jesus going into the wilderness for 40 days and being tempted by Satan when He was at His weakest. I've heard the story before but when I read it this time, my blood ran cold. Waiting on answers, I've been so tempted to take matters into my own hands. I am so glad I resisted that temptation. That is no credit to me, however, because it is only through Him that I was strong. Without Him, I most definitely am nothing. So I continue to wait for the Lord.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Week ending October 7, 2007
It's been a long, hard week and very discouraging week. I'm so glad it's over. Nothing devastating happened but it's just one of those lame weeks where nothing GOOD is happening, you're stressed beyond imagination about something really stupid and you just gotta think next week will be better. Somehow.
Wednesday, I worked for my mom for a few hours, if that. I got to hold a newborn baby for about an hour and watch a few more. I sometimes wish I could have more children, even if it is the last thing I need.
Friday, Jeff worked at the football game and I have spent the entire weekend sewing! I sewed Brooke's costume for the school play. I still have to add buttons and a belt. It's supposed to look like 1965 so I went with small purple gingham (material I had leftover from another project since I am so broke!) and I modified a previous pattern to make a sleeveless sundress. It looks pretty close.
Then I finished Kayti's 50's/Halloween costume. She wanted to be a carhop girl. The skirt, the petticoat and the apron were no problem but the shirt was a pain in the neck. But I managed to get through it! I will post pictures as soon as the batteries in my camera are charged up.
I still have to figure out what I'm going to do about Kayti's costume for the play. She is supposed to be a mama sheep. I am supposed to get a white sweatsuit and attach cotton but I can't envision it. Plus I don't have those things on hand already and like I said--I'm busted. It'll have to wait until Thursday and then I'll have to bust a move Thursday night and get it done because the costume parade is Friday!
What I'm reading/read this week:
Liz Curtis Higgs' Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible This is the choice of Lisa Whelchel's book club so I'm trying to keep up with that and finding it all very interesting. How encouraging that such extraordinary women who found favor with the Lord were also flawed--like me! Maybe it's not too late for me, huh? LOL
Also Real-Life Homeschooling by Rhonda Barfield. I really enjoy hearing others' homeschooling stories. Why they homeschool, how they do it, what a typical day for them is like, etc. I find this, too, very encouraging.
What God is teaching me
I am continuing through the Psalms and also finished 1 & 2 Peter this week. I continue to ask for His wisdom and strength because I'm really needing it right now. This week's reading gives me the chance to once again cast eyes on one of my favorite all time scriptures:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I'm casting, believe me! And it would be hard to be more humble than I have been this week. I know without a doubt that God will bring us through all trials, even the ones that are our own fault. But I have always been a detail-oriented person and I am concerned with the how, where, when, who, what, and why. I want to KNOW what God is going to do! It's like I tell Brooke sometimes, "Don't worry about it, I'll handle it." But she always wants to know WHAT I'm going to do about whatever situation she's brought to my attention. At least she comes by it honestly!
Blessings!
Wednesday, I worked for my mom for a few hours, if that. I got to hold a newborn baby for about an hour and watch a few more. I sometimes wish I could have more children, even if it is the last thing I need.
Friday, Jeff worked at the football game and I have spent the entire weekend sewing! I sewed Brooke's costume for the school play. I still have to add buttons and a belt. It's supposed to look like 1965 so I went with small purple gingham (material I had leftover from another project since I am so broke!) and I modified a previous pattern to make a sleeveless sundress. It looks pretty close.
Then I finished Kayti's 50's/Halloween costume. She wanted to be a carhop girl. The skirt, the petticoat and the apron were no problem but the shirt was a pain in the neck. But I managed to get through it! I will post pictures as soon as the batteries in my camera are charged up.
I still have to figure out what I'm going to do about Kayti's costume for the play. She is supposed to be a mama sheep. I am supposed to get a white sweatsuit and attach cotton but I can't envision it. Plus I don't have those things on hand already and like I said--I'm busted. It'll have to wait until Thursday and then I'll have to bust a move Thursday night and get it done because the costume parade is Friday!
What I'm reading/read this week:
Liz Curtis Higgs' Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible This is the choice of Lisa Whelchel's book club so I'm trying to keep up with that and finding it all very interesting. How encouraging that such extraordinary women who found favor with the Lord were also flawed--like me! Maybe it's not too late for me, huh? LOL
Also Real-Life Homeschooling by Rhonda Barfield. I really enjoy hearing others' homeschooling stories. Why they homeschool, how they do it, what a typical day for them is like, etc. I find this, too, very encouraging.
What God is teaching me
I am continuing through the Psalms and also finished 1 & 2 Peter this week. I continue to ask for His wisdom and strength because I'm really needing it right now. This week's reading gives me the chance to once again cast eyes on one of my favorite all time scriptures:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I'm casting, believe me! And it would be hard to be more humble than I have been this week. I know without a doubt that God will bring us through all trials, even the ones that are our own fault. But I have always been a detail-oriented person and I am concerned with the how, where, when, who, what, and why. I want to KNOW what God is going to do! It's like I tell Brooke sometimes, "Don't worry about it, I'll handle it." But she always wants to know WHAT I'm going to do about whatever situation she's brought to my attention. At least she comes by it honestly!
Blessings!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
I don't usually post mid-week unless I need to blow off some steam or something but I MUST take a moment for a mommy brag!!!
Yesterday, I got an email from Brooke's track coach. She has just this year moved up a division and he felt she was ready to move up one more and asked her if she would be willing to try. She was hesitant but agreed. He said he was going over times from last Thursday's practice and her target for 300 meeters is 1:42. But all three times were 1:29, 1:34 & 1:32!!! He said those times were "blistering" and he even had to go back and recalculate he was so surprised! He told me to tell her he was proud and to keep up the good work. So I guess we have a track star on our hands!
Additionally, after all my running around between ballet and Camp Fire yesterday, I went to the last half of Dylan's football game not really excited about paying $8 to watch 10 minutes. But he made it worth it! He got an interception and ran it back for 25 yards!!! I was so thrilled for him! Since I didn't have my camera with me to get a picture, he drew the play out for me last night:
LOL! The red dotted line represents the path of the ball. Dylan plays strong safety (whatever that is). Anyway, he was on cloud 9 last night.
Since I'm already on here, I go ahead and share a few pictures from the past weekend. My sister hosted a party for the Alabama vs. Florida State game. We had a good time even though they lost.
My lovely sisters
Mia and her lifelong best friend Ladonna
Mel and Melissa
Blessings!
Yesterday, I got an email from Brooke's track coach. She has just this year moved up a division and he felt she was ready to move up one more and asked her if she would be willing to try. She was hesitant but agreed. He said he was going over times from last Thursday's practice and her target for 300 meeters is 1:42. But all three times were 1:29, 1:34 & 1:32!!! He said those times were "blistering" and he even had to go back and recalculate he was so surprised! He told me to tell her he was proud and to keep up the good work. So I guess we have a track star on our hands!
Additionally, after all my running around between ballet and Camp Fire yesterday, I went to the last half of Dylan's football game not really excited about paying $8 to watch 10 minutes. But he made it worth it! He got an interception and ran it back for 25 yards!!! I was so thrilled for him! Since I didn't have my camera with me to get a picture, he drew the play out for me last night:
LOL! The red dotted line represents the path of the ball. Dylan plays strong safety (whatever that is). Anyway, he was on cloud 9 last night.
Since I'm already on here, I go ahead and share a few pictures from the past weekend. My sister hosted a party for the Alabama vs. Florida State game. We had a good time even though they lost.
My lovely sisters
Mia and her lifelong best friend Ladonna
Mel and Melissa
Blessings!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)