The last big hoorah!!! (Before surgery)

A while back, I entered a contest that the Cleveland, Tennessee Chamber of Commerce was having on Facebook about "Why you need a weekend getaway".

I shared the story about me and my ex-husband and how we grew up together, were married for 21 years and still made a great effort to remain civil and co-parent our three amazing children. As such we are still very good friends and many people think we will eventually reconcile. I used to think that also, especially when going through cancer treatment in 2015 but God has shown me that He alone is in control and if anything is to happen it will be because He ordains it and it will be on His timetable--not mine.  I have learned to be content with that and as such, our relationship is better than ever. We like our time together. And we also like our time apart! But our relationship is like no one else's that I know--especially among divorced couples. Most can't stand the sight of each other let alone, still do things together without the kids.

Anyway, I won the contest! I won a night's stay at a local hotel, rafting for 2 on the Ocoee (which we LOVE) and dinner for 2 at a restaurant of our choosing.

This past weekend, we took our trip and had an amazing time!!!

We drove up directly after work on Friday and worried that the restaurant would close, we had dinner first at Aubrey's.  I had the BEST CRAB CAKES EVER!!! Most of the time when I order crab cakes anywhere they are full of vegetables and other filling that there is hardly any crab at all. Not these. These were divine.  Jeff had a tuna sandwich but it was not like the kind one makes at home--it was a big tuna steak. He said it was great and that man is picky about his fish!

Then we checked into our hotel, Wingate by Wyndham in Interstate Drive and it didn't take long to fall asleep. It was clean and comfortable and we were tired!

We had breakfast at Cracker Barrel the next morning and then drove around just looking at the quaint little town and enjoying all the beautiful scenery!

When it was time for our rafting trip we had no trouble finding Big Frog Expeditions and the weather had been great all day but low and behold, about 1/8 of the way down the river it started storming. I knew we would continue rafting in rain but I wasn't sure what the protocol was for lightening. I could just visualize my Maw Maw rolling over in her grave at the thought of me on water during a storm. But the guide said we really were in the safest place possible. Getting out and standing under a tree wouldn't be any better because lightening would most likely strike the highest point and a tree is definitely higher than water. But even more probable would be that it would strike a mountain somewhere. Okay by me. I know the Lord Jesus Christ and have accepted Him as my Savior. And after you beat cancer, you tend to not be scared of much. I could definitely think of worse ways to die than going down a beautiful river. Oh how I love rivers. You get to see so much of His wonderful creation that you can't see from the road. And the rivers are always changing. You never take the same trip twice. Anyway, the storm definitely added to the adventure.

When we saw these pictures, Jeff laughed at me for waving! But I've done this many times before and I'd much rather be smiling and waving than looking like this:

When we got out of the river we had to wait a little bit before our bus came to pick us up and it turned out the road was blocked preventing the bus from getting to us so another bus gave us a lift. On the way back to the outfitter, we saw lines and trees down everywhere and we realized the storm did indeed get pretty bad. 

After a shower and dry clothes, one of the outfitter's employees had her dogs there. Well, you know I'm all about a dog! If one is within a mile radius of me, it's my new best friend! 

Then we headed back to the 'ham! I would have loved to have went horseback riding and many other things but there wasn't time. We had a great time though and hope we can make it back this year as soon as I am up and around again!

Keeping It Real

This post is inspired by a great woman and friend that I admire very much--my former pastor's wife. She shared on social media all her current struggles as a kindness to let others know she doesn't always have it figured out. None of us do. Even when we THINK we do, we often don't because we can't see what God sees.  An old Sunday School teacher once explained that the difference between what we see and what God sees is like an iceberg. We can only see what's above the surface of the ocean. But God can see the whole iceberg and when we let Him steer the ship, we navigate better.

It's hard, especially for control freaks like me, to do this all the time. God puts things on my heart and I have yet to learn how to let Him work it all out in due time. Once He gives me something, I tend to just run with it, working out all the details and satisfying the obsessive-compulsive planner within.  And even though I know better, I'm still having to learn that that is NOT His way.

I had so many goals at the beginning of this year:

1) Go on a mission trip.

2) Learn to whitewater kayak.

3) Learn to ride a motorcycle.

4) Begin writing a book.

5) Get a new/new to me car.

6) Plant a garden.

7) Raise some chickens.

8) Go on some long hiking/camping trips.

9) Master kickboxing.

10) Get a ministry leadership training certificate.

11) Go to the beach at least once.

12) Look at other employment opportunities just to see what's out there.

13) Lose a lot of weight!

I did learn to ride. I have planted a few things. But everything else has been completely derailed by the fact that in a few weeks I have to have surgery.

Yes, I am having total knee replacement. Eventually both knees will have to be done but we are starting with the right knee. I had bilateral release knee surgery on both knees in 2010 to correct kneecaps that were off-center and causing a lot of pain. It didn't work. I did all of my physical therapy and the kneecaps floated closer back to where they were supposed to be but not completely. I continued to have pain and difficulty doing certain things. Joint fluid replacement and steroid shots helped some. Ice and anti-inflammatory meds helped some. But I've exhausted those options to the point where they no longer provide any relief. I have pushed through the pain and paid for it and now and I can no longer go from sitting to standing to sitting easily.  I've gotten three professional opinions. My current doctor is young like me and promises that if I do my PT, I will once again be able to do all of the active things that I love. Or I could wait another 10 years, be miserable and then get it done meanwhile putting my heart and lungs at risk by being inactive.

So after careful consideration and prayer, I'm going to have it done. I'm hoping to get them both done before the year is out but we will have to wait and see how it goes with the first one. 

So most of what I had planned for this year is out the window. But that's okay. I can still do some of those things. But to "keep it real", here are my current worries:

1) I have about 1 1/2 weeks of PTO. I'm hoping to be back at work within 2 weeks post surgery. My doctor said that's a little ambitious but possible. 

2) I'm looking at several hundred dollars out of pocket. I have good insurance and supplemental insurance. But my PT isn't completely covered. My BFF and I have discussed other options so we'll see how that goes.

3) I won't be able to drive for 5 weeks. 

4) My precious mustang is on its last legs. I love that car. But I'm not sure how much longer it's going to last me before it has to be replaced and unfortunately that means debt.

5) I need around $800 worth of out-of-pocket dental work (at least) to repair damage done during radiation 3 years ago.

I know that God will provide as He always has. But I'm human and can't keep my mind from wandering off to worryland every once in a while. To bring myself back to reality, I remind myself that:

1) I have a great job with supportive boss and co-workers, great insurance and my salary meets my everyday needs and some of my wants.

2) I have a great family and I know I can count on their help, including my ex-husband.

3) I have great friends and I'm so thankful for them.

4) I'm otherwise healthy.

5) I have a brain and marketable skills as well as drive and determination.

6) I have a beautiful home.

7) I have a great church and church family and many prayer warriors.

8) I have an awesome Savior that cares as much about the little things as He does the big things and I hope you will remember that as well!  The Bible says we have not because we ask not! Don't be afraid to ask! Nothing is too big or too small for God!

Be blessed!